I am new to this site. I was guided to you through my quest to find support for my boyfriends sex addiction. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and it has been a very rough road. I found out he was an addict after I found emails, websites, and finally phone calls made to call girls. I confronted him. He promised to get help. Two years later, after accepting the Lord as his Savior, and beginning a sex addict recovery group at our church.. he was still acting out. I finally left him when I found out I had an STD. I moved away (rough rough split).. yet he still pursued me. He swore I was the one God wanted for him.. bla bla bla... We remained "together" althogh we were not living together. However, I still found things when I would visit his home. I began to build up a wall and finally I met someone else that made me feel "whole" again. He didnt deal with that well, and began pursing his "purity" for real. He remained committed to his group and I saw a real change. However, I was not convinced and didnt want to be with him. He continued to pursue me. Finally after a few months I decided to go on a vacation with him and we have been together ever since. He swore up and down he was "done". I was still leery, but I didnt continue to private investiage. (it had consumed my life before I left him). Things seemed to be going great. For a period of three months I really felt free..and I belived God wanted us together and we would get married. He lives out of state, but visits often. About three weeks ago I had a gut feeling something was wreong. I checked his phone and sure enough.. there were calls made to escorts. I confronted him and he cried and sobbed and begged me to forgive him. he begged me to pray for him and told me if I left he would be doomed.. he believes I am the one who can help him. I stayed with him. He said he would not call anymore. yesterday.. I was looking at his phone records. I dont knwo why.. but I get weird feelings and act on them.. and every time I find something. I dont have to look hard.. they just jump out at me. I have been praying for two weeks.. asking God to give me a sign. Through a one in a million chance I happened on a phone number that led me to a craigslist m4m listing. He has been calling a man for over three months. He has called the number at night and even on his way home from visiting me and the kids. I am sick. I have joked with him in the past about him spending so much time in restrooms (after reading things about "glory holes") He also has a friend who I know is gay and I swear he acts different arond him. But.. he had convinced me there is NO WAY. And becaus of his obsession with women, porn, escorts, prostitutes.. I didnt even think about it much. NOW.. I am freaked OUT! I stopped having sex with him because I told him I wanted to be married, and I want God to be in control of our relationship. However, he saw this man even before we stopped having sex. I am so sick. There are so many ideas, feelings, and especially fantasies of how I can "expose" him in my head. However, I know that is the enemy. I just need God to show me what to do. I have kids. They love him. My youngest son is special needs.. and he is the only dad he has known. It breaks my heart that he is choosing this illness.. addiction.. sickness over a family that loves him. But.. I dont want to continue in this rat race. He is not seeking support. He is not involved with anyone who can hold him accountable. He lives away and around people that have no clue. I dont see him really seeking help, unless he moves back here and goes back to his support group. I want to be free.. and healed and feel whole again. I miss the peace.. and the joy I had before him. I have had so many issues in relationships with men (been with only three men but all had addictions). I have kids that I need to focus on and I want God to show me His purpose.. I am ready to just be single and move forward with His plan.. but I also feel like I need to be careful on how I "leave". My heart aches for him. I know He loves God.. I know he wants peace too.. and I know He desires to get out of this hell he lives in... but I dont feel strong enough to stay and help him through it... please pray for me... and Him.. I want God's will so much!