Shelly,
I am writing to testify of the impact that God has had in setting me free from porn. I became addicted to porn and masturbation as a little girl of about who found my father's stash. For the next 24 years a constant struggle would ensue with me, porn and masturbation. Even though at 15, I came to Christ and loved him, I was so hurt and scarred and could not understand why I could not stop on my own I eventually began acting out my addiction and living a promiscuous life, all the while crying out to God. My life was this cycle of sin, repentance, chastity for a while and sin again.

Eventually I found a spiritual director who in the past three years has ministered the inner healing needed in my heart so that I can stop the outer addiction. I began to masturbate less and less and eventually stopped watching porn altogether. This year was a huge turning point as I joined an international collective of women who were fasting and praying for marriage. For the first time this year I was able to be completely chaste, no porn, no sex, no masturbation. Praise the Lord!! One of the things that also helped the turnaround this year was finding your site. I poured over your site for hours one night, crying and receiving healing, particularly with the testimony of how you and Garett met.

But the story does not end here. About five months ago, my mom became ill and my dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness and on top of that there was a breakup with an on-again boyfriend, off-again boyfriend. It was one of the most trying periods of my life and yet through it all for once, I did not slip back into sex addiction. However, I did complain a little to God and say "God, I know you are there but I wish I knew somebody my age who is taking care of a sick older parent" Not long after this prayer, I saw this guy around my age at church who I had seen around for years. I knew his mom and sibling, so being church friendly I asked how they were. It simply slipped out that his mom was sick and he was taking care of her and we began to bond just as two people in the same situation. The bonding soon turned into something more and eventually we went out.

He is and was a precious guy who loves God and is an absolute gentleman. He is now my dear boyfriend. Through a series of events, we began to open up to each other. He opened up to me that he was also a former porn addict as well. He was trying to get on top of porn by praying for all the people he saw in the porn movies to be free. He had reached the point of going months without porn but always fell back again. The turning point was when he discovered your site!! It was only after discovering your site that he was able to stay off porn completely.

He gave the testimony that he thought that women in porn enjoyed it and that use to enjoy seeing them in great pain during sex thinking that they mocked guys with small penises. It was only after visiting the site did he realize that the women did not enjoy it and they were in great pain in some cases. It brought him to the point where he just could not look at porn again knowing they were exploited.

The testimony of the former male porn star who works with Shelley also helped my boyfriend a lot to change his views on porn. What touched my boyfriend also was when the ex-male porn star Trent Roe said that the male porn stars did not feel fulfilled sexually during filming and had to seek sexual fulfillment outside. The mirage that working as a male porn star was the life, with all the free sex and sexy women, was taken down. His mention of how he felt bad degrading women during filming also struck my boyfriend.

I opened up to him about my struggles and we both agreed to put God as much in our relationship as possible and that we wanted a chaste, loving relationship. Since then I am happy to report that we are completely in love with each other and God's grace has flowed over our relationship. It is such an adventure to be in a God-centered, chaste relationship and God has used both of us as instruments in healing the pains of each other's pasts. We both wish to thank God for using you in both of lives and being part of God bringing us together in a miraculous way. I ask you to pray for us to continue in chastity and for God's discernment and grace as we continue to journey together in this blessed relationship.