Okay... I've never actually told anyone about this. Only two people I talk to now know that I ever worked in the Sex industry.

As a teenager, my parents were divorced and my mom was mentally unstable, and I was drinking and doing drugs with older men. When I was 17, I moved to Los Angeles. I didn't have a lot of money, and I saw an ad for an artist who was looking for nude models. It didn't pay much, but I needed the extra cash, so I called him and told him I was 18. I had never done anything like this before, and I wasn't old enough to buy alcohol, so I found a homeless man to buy me liquor so I could drink before I went. When I got to his house (drunk), there were paintings of vaginas all over his walls. Not the whole female body, just vaginas. It was very strange. I sat on a chair with my legs apart for maybe an hour while being sketched, and then went home. It was quick, easy money. I started looking for other jobs like this one, but eventually I got into "escorting."

I had just turned 18, when I saw an ad on craigslist looking for escorts. I met a man in his car down the street from my apartment. He checked my ID and said I could start the next day. The next day, I got extremely drunk before the driver (another man I had never met before) came and picked me up. I was so drunk, the driver had to help me walk to the hotel room. I threw up in the bathroom before my first client got there. I actually didn't have sex with the first customer, because I hadn't brought any condoms and neither had he. I was totally new to the whole thing, and didn't know I was supposed to provide the condoms. The next man who came had brought his own condoms. I don't really remember much about the first man, but I remember the second man clearly. He was about 55 and pretended he was my dad sneaking into my bedroom, and I was his young daughter he was having sex with. I don't remember the other men that came that night.

For about 6 months after that, I continued "escorting." I only remember a few of the men I had sex with. The rest was all a blur. One man after the next. I was drunk and high the whole time. One of the customers brought crystal meth with him. I had never even seen speed, and didn't really know what it was, but after I did it, I was hooked. I had to keep prostituting to support my drug habit, and I couldn't bring myself to do such disgusting acts without getting high. It was an endless cycle, and I wanted to kill myself. One time after I had already finished "working" for a night, I stayed in the hotel room getting high instead of going home with the driver. I got so high on meth that I started hallucinating and thought the people next door had planted cameras in my room and were spying on me. I went downstairs to tell the people at the front desk. They checked my room, but they knew I was just high on drugs. The worst part was, I had no one to come pick me up. The only person who I could call was a client who had sold me the meth.

Sometimes I would work in a hotel and the men would come to me, but other times there was a driver who would bring me to different men's houses. I'm not sure how many people were involved and how many other girls were involved, but there were always different drivers. I never talked to any of the men on the phone, made any of the arrangements, or drove myself anywhere. Women I had never met talked to all the clients for me, but the men thought they were talking to me on the phone. I wasn't supposed to give the men my real number, which they told me was for my "safety," but they did not really care about me. They just didn't want me to give them my real number, because if I did then I could possibly go behind the backs of the people I was working for, and make money without them. They kept 50% of my profit. They charged around $500 per hour, so I would usually make around $250 for every man I had sex with. I actually made quite a bit of money, but have nothing to show for it, because I spent it all on nails, hair extensions, clothes, and drugs. I didn't work every night. I would just work one day, and couldn't bring myself to do it again until I was out of money again and desperate. I probably slept with close to 200 men.

A guy I was "friends" with ran a porn site. I was thinking about getting into porn because I would make more money per hour, but I didn't want to prostitute myself on camera. Porn seemed really cool and glamorous, but I was already very ashamed of what I was doing. None of my friends or family knew what I was doing and I wanted to keep it that way. I went to two porn shoots just to check it out. My "friend" who ran the site tried to talk me into doing a scene, but I said no. I remember one time we were talking and he was like, "You could just do a few scenes for some extra cash," and I said, "Yeah, but I want to get married and have a family one day, and don't want my future husband to see me doing that stuff." He said there is so much porn out there, that no one would ever know. I'm so glad I never did porn. After prostituting for 6 months, I moved away from Los Angeles and into a relatives house. I kept doing drugs for about two years, but eventually stopped when I met the love of my life.

I started dating this guy who is so innocent compared to me. He had never been drunk until he was about 20 years old. He comes from a good Chrisitian family, and had never done any drugs. We actually didn't have sex for the first two months we were dating because we were "getting to know each other," which was an entirely new concept to me. He is the perfect gentleman. After about 5 or 6 months into our relationship, he googled some of my old screen names, and found half naked pictures of me on escorting ads from when I used to be a prostitute. He confronted me about it and I was so scared he was going to leave me, but he said he just wanted me to tell him the truth. I told him it was true, I had worked as an escort and we both just held each other and cried. It was the only time I've ever seen him cry. It was the worst day of my life. Until then, I thought I could just pretend like it had never happened. We have been together two years now, and are going to get married. I'm a junior at a University, and I think I have a bright future. I have come a long way.

Sometimes I have flashbacks from when I was in a hotel room and men did really disgusting things to me. I just try not to think about it.