kelsey I moved your post
Thu, 03/19/2009 - 19:08
off the website where only the moderators can see it. Only to protect you since you posted your address on it....please don't do that....people can be lurking and get your address, it isn't safe to do that....
I was going to just delete the address, but couldn't, so I will get someone to fix it later and hopefully they can move it back....
Anyways, know i love you and we are praying for you!
Blessings,
Carolemarie
Comments
okay its been a few months heres an update:
moving to a new church 2morrow calvary became a bit to overwhelming to me and and i decided to move to a new church
i'm still having problems with my faith and the fact that i'm back to watching porn once or twice a week :( i'm 5 months into being a child of christ and my addiction to porn is back :( i'm not gonna mention this addiction on my blog please pray for me!
www.agirlnamekelsey.blogspot.com
When we fail, we confess our sin to Christ and ask Him to help us so we can suceed.
Find out what triggers your porn sessions....there is something that is causing you to turn to porn for comfort rather than the Lord....once you find out what is driving your behavior you can let the Lord heal it....
Love and peace!
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
this sunday during invitation my friend (whose name is kelsey too)
is coming up with me i'm gonna ask if i can be baptized :) oh and i told my mom about my addiction to porn a couple nights ago shes not mad finally happy i got some things off my chest
Oh my gosh girl I am so happy and excited for you=)
God is doing GREAT things through you....and He will continue to do so. I am so proud of you Kelsey and GOD is BEAMING.
I am glad to hear that you told your mom about the addiction to porn and happy to hear she was not mad. That took a lot of courage...again I am proud of you and sending BIG BIG HUGS.
Keep your head up and look to Jesus for all things and you will not be dissapointed.
GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH GIRL and HE IS EXTREMLY PLEASED WITH YOU=)
Keep going for Jesus=)
take care
peace,hugs,prayers
boldness and blessings
Carrie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team
`````````````````````````````````````````````
JESUS IS THE GLUE THAT HOLDS ME TOGETHER
last week at youth group i told my friends everything:
about being bullied
my suicidal thoughts
bullying molested when i was younger
and thought i was a bad christian
and they talked to my youth pastors wife about it i think i'm okay now :) really okay looking forward to going to columbus ohio i live in covington ky) in november for the walk of life (a teen ministry i think) rally thats is gonna be my first night away from my parents IN ANOTHER STATE! so i'll let you know what happens
Hi Kelsey,
I didn't get to read your original post when it was first read, but I did get to read your comment above the one I'm about to make. I'm so sorry for all that you've been through. But you should be proud that you're brave enough to face your demons. I know you said you've been going to church and have a Bible but I also thought you might want to check out these other resources that have worked for me.
rainn.org
RAINN is Rape Abuse Incest National Network. I've counted on them countless times. They have a hotline you can call for emergencies or if you just need advice. Or even, if you just need someone to listen to you. I was molested when I was younger too and I feel really safe talking to them. They have a bunch of resources for anyone living in the United States.
takebackthenight.org
Take Back The Night is a similar website that I also use.
xxxchurch.com
This is NOT a porn site. Despite the classic triple X logo. They aim towards helping people with porn addictions as well as helping porn stars, strippers, and even prostitutes get out of the business. And look out for the well being of those who are still caught in it. They even have their own work books that you can use and their version of the Bible aimed towards sex industry workers and porn addicts with text specifically geared towards them.
I hope this helped!!
i'm a full blown hypocrite i was thinking alot what my youth pastor said this sunday about being a hypocrite I'M SO DUMB!!!!
luckily enough my youth pastor is giving the gospel 2morrow night and i wanna make sure to my fellow pink cross ladies about what should i do i gotta stop being such a rebel what should i do for god i'm gonna need prayers right now!
your baby sister in christ,
kelsey
Hey Kelsey I've been reading your posts and felt complelled to say something. I have a 17 year old daughter and she is struggling with some of the same things as you are. She wants to quit school and is always telling me that she has no friends. I will tell you the same thing I tell her- God does love you! You where the first face he saw when he hung on the cross!He loves you so much that he died for you. You are not a hypocrite! You are not dumb! You are a christian and that means you are now Satan's worst enemy!He is going to tell you all kinds of lies to make you feel bad. At my church we use the ABC's of becomeing a christian . Admit,Believe and Confess. You are admitting that you sin and need God's help! So let Him! Believe that he will and confess when you fail! Read your bible and pray daily! I don't know what is making you sin by looking at porn but you need to get rid of it right now. For me it was my computer so I got a filter and only my wife knows the password to get on the computer so she is always here. Remember you are special to God, if you allow him ,he will use you in great ways. I will be praying for you .God bless!
In Christ Love,
Doug
i'm a hypocrite i'm a bad christian still youth pastor jeff was talking about how some christians dont ask christian and i feel like i'm still bad at being a christian i cant stop cussing its really hard!
i didnt tell him about my addiction of porn but i ask him what was gonna happen in our final week of out 4 week youth sermon on stepping up in god and it will be "stepping up in `church" mayeb i'll learn something out of it even though i have a kjv version oif the bible its hard to learn the words in it :D
i got SHE the teen version at my church clearance sale i dotn know if ti helped me though and i didnt go to church today because i was scared because i'm cussing outside the church and was afraid that i angered jesus and i havent read my bible since last sunday i only read it in church and youth group and the fact i got a king james version and i need a NIV is anybody willing to help me? i wanna get baptized but i wanna slowly clean my life up i need the help so bad i dont wanna make god angry no more
GOD LOVES YOU girl and YOU are a DAUGHTER of a KING, that makes you a Princess NEVER forget that. Satan does not like that you are now a daughter of the ONLY Greatest King to ever live and walk this earth, and he will try anything to stop you from wakling the path that Jesus intends for you to walk. DO not beat yourself up when you stumble....remember baby steps, baby steps. When you do fall go before Jesus seek Him, His forgivness HE is there for you Kels...HE will NEVER let you down and He will never let you go. He is NOT mad at you...HE loves you with an UNCONDITIONAL love...a love that no one else can give you. He is for you 100%...so never think differantly.
I have a bible here that I can send you if you'd like...UNLESS someone else is sending you one. Let me know ok.
I am praying for you...keep running TOWARDS God not away from Him...He will grant you ALL that you need including strength to overcome.
Love you dearly girl...praying=)
take care
peace,hugs,prayers
boldness and blessings
Carrie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team
`````````````````````````````````````````````
JESUS IS THE GLUE THAT HOLDS ME TOGETHER
God isn't mad at you Kelsey! He never was. God loves you :)
I am praying for you and you are welcome to PM me if you need to talk....
I think you are doing good, it takes time to get things totally turned around.....because we are impatient and want it all fixed now....but God takes us slowly through it so the changes can last.
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
i did it again cant help its hard to stop an addiction for a girl my age whats wrong with me i cant stop watching porn or masturbation is there any verses in the bible about masturbation or addiciton?
Hey, Kelsey;
Here are a few, just off the top of my head...not specifically about masturbation, but about struggling with sin:
Rom. 4:13 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill it's lusts
1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it
James 1:13,14 Let no one say when he is tempted "I am tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.
Masturbation violates a couple of principles in the Bible. First, it violates 1 Corinthians, chapter 6. Paul talks about how sinful we were before our salvation experience and how we should flee it still. Then, lest we think that salvation is a license just to do whatever we want to do, he states in verse 12 and 13 that although there is nothing that can condemn him to hell anymore (lawfully) that not all activities are wise and godly choices. He says that he will not be brought under the power of anything. He said that the body is not made for sexual sin, but for the Lord. He reminds us that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and the members of Christ.
He explains in verse 18 that sexual transgressions are like no other sin that we know of – because it causes us to sin against our own bodies. He reminds us that we are bought with a price and that our bodies are not our own. Masturbation, like fornication and adultery, are like no other sins. They take power over us like nothing else can. Unless we are becoming one-flesh with our spouses, masturbation, like other sexual sins leaves people unfulfilled spiritually. If you are a Christian, then your body is not your own to command anymore.
Masturbation also violates 1 Corinthians 9. Paul talks a lot about the liberty of the christian life – not license, but liberty. But then he says in verse 19 and following that he behaves with the heart of a servant. He says in verses 24 and following to consider the athlete who is running in competitive sports. He says to note how this person is temperate in all things while they are training to win the prize.
He says if these people who are running just to win some temporary crown that will someday rot are so particular about their bodies and not giving in to excesses, then how much more so should the Christian, who is running for an incorruptible crown keep their bodies under control and under subjection. Our bodies cannot take over our minds, souls, hearts, and spirits. One day we will shed ourselves of our flesh. We cannot, in this day, allow our flesh to rule over us.
Anyhow, I hope that helped Kelsey. Just remember that Jesus does not condemn you, but convicts you of masturbation because it draws you away from Him...any addiction does...and He wants all of you.
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
sorry about causing a problem
I would want someone to do that for my child too....
Love you!
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
thanks man i wished the internet had more sites for girls about becoming a christian because i need a easy but challenging way to help me
The first thing is just ask Jesus that if He is real to show that to you, and I promise you He will show up! And start reading your bible, start in the New Testament and read about Jesus and what He was like, He loves you and wants to know you...
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
problem is the bible i'm getting wont be here i have to wait like 4 to 6 weeks :( its from bibles for america its a recovery edition so i'm gonna be without a bible til then and i dont wanna wait and the bible i have at my house is a jehovas witness one (my aunt sometimes sends my mom awake and watchtower newsletters and those silly yearbooks they send out)
at 6 this morning i was crying i think there about a millions demons in me i couldnt get out i ended up goin gto sleep until 4 in the afternoon with "the hiding place" on repeat on my laptop and TBN on my tv and the fact that i cant hear god in my head and the fact the demons are telling me to go ahead and kill myself
Kelsey God is going to do amazing things through you...you wait and see. His plans are to prosper you and to love you...satan hates that you are seeking ans searching for God and His promises. And satan will try anything he can to try to bring you down. We are prying for you and we love you. I pray that you know how truly loved and valuable you are. You are precious and nothing can ever take that away fro you. Look up the links so that you can read the bible on line....there are versions of the bible that are a little easier to understand that way as well...I know I had a hard time with the King James Version when I first started reading...BUT God will speak to you through His word and His word is truth and full of promises...lean on those promises and remember you are loved. Praying for you girl...
PS crying can be a cleansing thing, and GOD gave you tears...so don't ever let anyone tell you it's wrong ((HUGS]]
take care
peace,hugs,prayers
boldness and blessings
Carrie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team
`````````````````````````````````````````````
REMEMBER THAT NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU HAVE FALLEN
IT IS NEVER FURTHER THAN GOD CAN REACH
i got max lucado's 3:16 on dvd at the library today and a brochure from the billy graham evangelical association in the mail as well and i got loads of books on being a christian teen from the library as well that i'll try to read the books and watch 3:16 to see if i'm ready
okay anyways i'm still trying to figure out something for myself
you think someone can help me with a list i wanna make of the things i can change and do before i return to school in the fall
i'm really scared of telling my parents i want to be a christian :(
maybe i shouldnt become one
I feel for you Kelsey I really do. I am not to sure what to say...other than I am praying for you. I pray peace,boldness and strength for you. You are precious and Never forget that.
P.S. what type of things are you wanting to put on your list....I would be more than happy to pray with you about it:]
take care
peace,hugs,prayers
boldness and blessings
Carrie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team
`````````````````````````````````````````````
REMEMBER THAT NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU HAVE FALLEN
IT IS NEVER FURTHER THAN GOD CAN REACH
idk what i want on this list thats why i need help
i'm going to walmart today and getting a bible to use until my recovery bible comes and waiting for a book about esther from carole :) so i hope something good happens by the end of the weekend!
either carrie or carole i forgot who :D
so i've been getting mail from a couple of the girls yesterday i recieved a card from carrie (that made me smile) and today i got a small package from carole (i gott start reading that book) so i'm glad i have you all as help :) i wonder who god will choose next to write to me?
Did you like the bracelet
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
yes i been wearing it
i got my recovery bible!!!!!!!
sorry if i havent spoke to any of the girls i'm not on myspace that much anymore so if you wanna talk just talk to me here!
hugs and kisses!
Hi, Kelsey;
I just want you to know that I have not forgotten about you. I really wanted to send you some encouragement, but I am so honestly flat broke right now, I can't even afford to buy a stamp for a card.
As soon as I get a little more money, I will write you, and send you something, but I just want to let you know that i have not forgotten about you. I will continue to pray for you.
I'm glad you got your recovery Bible!!! Make sure to read it every day, and ask the Lord to give you wisdom and understanding. Have you found a good church yet? I think it would be awesome if you could find a good youth group to join.
Are you still worried about telling your parents that you are a Christian?
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
i'm a bit worried yes maybe i should forget about it
Hi, Kelsey;
We are all so proud of you for giving your life to the Lord, and I'm sure that everyone on this board would say that giving up on God is not what you should do right now.
God loves you so much, and He has so many great things in store for you. There are so many wonderful promises in the Bible that apply to you as a believer, and I would hate to see you miss out on them.
You cannot give up on God -- That would be the worst thing you could do!!! I wish I knew why it is that you are so fearful of telling your parents. What makes you think they would react badly?
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
i always blamed god for every bad thing in my life i think him and the devil made a deal to ruin my life and during al of that i have loving parents i cant talk to about my plans in life
my grandpa dying in 2005
my perodtid gland surgeries
me being bullied all my school life
me being molested when i was little
and most of all leaving school because i thought god forgot i was still alive
and those times at the mental hospital
these were the reasons why i blamed god and religion theres no religion in the world that can help me
i always thought god was a loving person who wants me on this earth but since growing up he became really judgemental i'd had cried more in my life then smile i never had true friends that doesnt count my mom and dad why does god want me on this earth to be a little crying ugly freak i'm afraid i'm gonna be when i turn 18 i dont wanna be a crackdealer or a pornstar for the money to keep me off the streets or die from some disease from having sex with a guy on my last week in school i wanted to jump of the schools building and at this time i still feel a little suicidal why cant god change me i'm scared of god still really i am :(
Kelsey
life can be very cruel...unfortunately we as humans tend to blame it on God. But it is through choices that we or others make that sometimes has an outcome that sucks. Those who treat others badly may have been hurt themselves and they don't know any better. They do not know the love that only Christ can give.
I am so very sorry for the hurt you are going through right now Kelsey, as well as for all the hurt that you have endured over your lifetime. BUT never give up....God does love you, He cries when you cry, He collects your tears in a bottle, He stands in the gap for you when you feel you can not stand any longer. He holds you in HIS arms as you weep as you feel you have no strength left...He gives you the strength that you need.
AND KELSEY GOD DOES NOT MAKE FREAKS...HE DOES NOT MAKE JUNK. Look in the mirror Kelsey and see yourself through His eyes. Read in His word what your worth is. YOU are precious, you are a treasure. When you accept Christ you become a Daughter of a KING...ROYALTY... A PRINCESS.
God loves you Kelsey and each of us here loves you. We are praying for you....I am also praying strength and boldness for you as you look to Jesus for guidance, and strength. I pry peace for you s you seek Him to help you tell your parents. YOU are precious Kelsey NEVER forget that. You are in my prayers....sending hugs.
take care
peace,hugs,prayers
boldness and blessings
Carrie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team
`````````````````````````````````````````````
REMEMBER THAT NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU HAVE FALLEN
IT IS NEVER FURTHER THAN GOD CAN REACH
i always feel like screaming at god i dont know why i hate him so much for making me feel hurt all this time
It is okay to yell and scream and tell Him how much you are hurting and ask Him anything you want. He already knows what you are feeling, so it isn't like you are hiding it from Him..:)
Ask Him your questions and let God answer you. God loves you more than you will ever know. Everything that is good comes from God, and the only one who wants you to blame God and hate Him is the devil, because then Satan wins in hurting you here in this life, and getting you to throw away your eternal life by telling you lies.
The truth is that you are a Beloved Child of the King, and He wants to make your life a thing of beauty, and to delight in you.
I love you and am praying for you!
Peace and love!
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
but why ....... i just wish everything was good about me again i cant make lists in my head anymore if i remeber something i forget it days later maybe soon i'll forget learning to become a christian
I REALLY NEED HELP why isnt god here to help me!!!!!!!!
Kelsey cry out to God. Like Carolemrie said...HE knows everything anyway. He knows when you are hurting, when you feel like freaking out, crying, yelling,screaming t the top of your lings to Him. He has big shoulders He can take it. Give Him all your burdens...your pain.
He is there for you Kelsey, he will never give up on you. don't give up...are you reading your new bible. Is it an easy read bible. I am praying for you I mean that. all of us here are praying for you. as for forgetting things...it happens to the best of us, it just means you have a lot on your mind right now:)
keep in the word...I will keep praying.
take care
peace,hugs,prayers
boldness and blessings
Carrie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team
`````````````````````````````````````````````
REMEMBER THAT NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU HAVE FALLEN
IT IS NEVER FURTHER THAN GOD CAN REACH
Dear Whoever,
i cant sleep
i cant think
my mind is empty
i'm totally lost in a daze
i gained alot (around 220)
my acne is worse
i'm scared of god
is he scared of me
i've been up since 8 this morning
now its almost 2:15 in the morning
wondering what hell i'm in
whats wrong with me
he's not talking to me
i dont wanna be on myspace talking to the other pink cross ladies
(april,maddie & carrie)
it seems like myspace it is bored of me
i dont even wanna do nothing today cept stay in bed and watch tv
and ignore my life and wait til death comes to my door
i havent even read my new bible yet i just left it on my bedside table
i need help badly
i cant hate god anymore
its like every single day i'm growing away from him
i cant even pray for myself
i dont wanna hurt myself
why doesnt he want me
WHY!!!!!!!!
i cant go back to threapy or on medication
or back to the mental hospital
i cant even cry right now after thinking this
i feel like dying :(
CAN YOU GUYS HELP & PRAY FOR ME!
Hugs & Kisses,
kels
Hey Kels -
Trust me buddy - I've been there. I too have: 1- asked God to kill me (he won't by the way - god's time is not our time) 2- been scared of the pain that would take 3- suffered from feeling like nothing (and I used to be a porn star) 4- been equally scarred that telling someone would get me locked up or on meds.
Depression and Suicidal feelings come out when the pain outweighs the solutions.
Two sides to think about - pain and solutions. I deal with the pain with a Monte Python kind of humor and 2- there can be solutions - even if they are small bits of progress - research and make bits of headway each day.
Life is like being lost in the desert - best you can do is just start walking toward the light and pray for a town :) lol.
and the fact that i never had an actually friend in school at recess i would always be alone i'll sometime play with the kids but i dont become friends with them cause i'm afraid they'll turn my back on me thats what happen in first grade when all the kids didnt want to play with me and a little african girl took my friend away from me and i felt sad and alone i had a friend michelle for a couple years but by the time we went into middle school i couldnt stand being around her and one time in 5th grade a bunch of girls were grabbing on me and couldnt let me go and this was the first year my mom wasnt working at my school anymore (she was a ISS teacher she now works for a catering company)and in middle school the bullying got worse and i became upset every day at school i was like a soilder sometimes but when i got home my tears would come out my dad was trying his best to ask the principals to ask the kids to stop bullying me but the kids lie and said they didnt bully me and the bullying got worse and in 8th grade my parents gone to the school board and boy if you mess with a cub you mess with the mama and i went to the mental hospital twice (once in 7th and once in 8th) and a couple weeks after getting out the second time i couldnt take it no more and just left the classroom and it was the day that i went to my therapist and she told me not to go back to school unless i'm ready and i was in a deep depression and on medication on and off during one of the pills made me stay up the whole night and sleep all day and loose my appitite now that i'm the pills i eat more and still have a habit of staying up and sleeping in and now I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Hi,
I was reading your positings today and jsut want to say i'm sorry you are feeling so bad right now. It must be hard dealing with everything that you are right now and I understand. I didn't have any friends in school either, and was often picked on because I was born with a pigmentation problem on my face and went through nine laser surgeries to make myself "better".
What I can tell you though that no matter how hard life gets, or how sad things seem sometimes..and sometimes they are really sad. There is still a future in front of you filled with hope and a lot of good things god wants to do for you! Don't worry so much about doing and learning everything so quickly it will come in time. Know that he loves you and is going to give you a beautiful future like he has given me. Right now it's okay to feel sad, because things probably aren't going as well as you would like. But KNOW that there are good things ahead of you!!!!! Maybe you can't see them right now but they will come.
As for medication and therapy I can't give you any advice on this because I am not qualified, but I am sorry your treatments haven't worked for you. It's okay though..just know that you will be okay please!...I have been at these dark times too so don't feel alone too! You ahve a long road ahead of you filled with a lot of joy..
Lots of love and hope you feel better soon!
Never give up!
so i hope i can talk to all of the girls soon maybe in the chat maybe you all can give me some ideas or help out!
thats it i'm gonna forget everything i said and to think that god is there and "he" doesnt wanna help me i'm about to go insane and i cant think about anymore i might as well forget every single word and leave this site god doesnt want me here in this world then so be it
i had a semi nervous breakdown last night i couldnt hold my tears and i didnt want wanna talk to my parents about it
I CANT DO NOTHING RIGHT NO MORE!
Hey Kelsey, its hard dealing with pain, but it cant last forever.
Im sure there are many things you can do right!
I bet if you think about it, you could come up withsome good things you have done for yourself or someone else. Dont let your state of mind, the world or anyone else trick you into believing you are no good...because you are good already.
Hang in there and keep posting...if you cant speak with your parents is there another person you can chat with? Theres nothing worse than keeping it locked up in your head.
You can get there dont give, have faith in yourself, you are worth it!
Geoffrey w