There is hope

I'm new, and as soon as I saw this form, I knew I wanted to reach out to you ladies.

My husband was a porn addict. Through the grace of God, I've never had to experience the hurt of dealing with porn in a marriage. BUT I have experienced it while dating and engaged.

First and forth most all of you woman need to know and understand that this isn’t your fault. No matter how you try to rationalize it, it really has nothing to do with you. I know, harder said than accepted, right?

I know where most of you are, I understand the hurt, the pain and the idea of just saying ‘forget it I’m done’. Believe me… I never in a million years thought I’d be sitting here saying ‘My husband has been porn free for over a year – and I BELIEVE IT and trust it’. BUT with God’s help it DOES happen. My husband was addicted to porn for 15 years. 3 months before our wedding, I found out that he was STILL looking at porn – despite the many efforts I had tired to put forward. I walked into a marriage unsure, scared and not fully trusting that this was the real thing.

There isn’t much you can do. That hurts but it’s the honest truth. You have GOT to be on your hands and knees daily for your men. Praying on their behalf – they aren’t going unnoticed or unanswered.

I told my then fiancée I was done. I’m sure I said it 100’s of times. It was always ‘if you look one more time…’ and he always did. Did that mean he loved me any less? No I don’t think so… I just think Satan had him so far wrapped up in bondage; he didn’t know how to break loose. This is truly an addiction, one that is never satisfied.

My heart breaks for you ladies. Hold fast, keep your course. Stand up on behalf of your men, and intercede for them – they need it. You ladies are in my prayers – as you fight this battle with the ones you love.

I say all of this to say - that I once thought 'we'll never break this cycle. He looks at porn, and lies - I find out - we fight. He say's he'll stop' and it kept going... on and on and on. BUT he did - and now we have a better realtionship than ever before. One that is full of trust - it does happen.

-Jess