thanks for prayers but he brought up divorce this morning
Tue, 04/07/2009 - 12:51
he says it's to set me free so I can have a true husband,
but he has said so much in reference to the fact that he essentially wants to marry a porn star or at least someone that looks and acts like one.
when I questioned him on it he said it was so I could find that knight I'd prayed about since I was little.
I pray everyone elses' marriages may be spared. Mine wasn't.
Comments
'Tis better to Go and 'find his soul' than to pretend in your marriage bed.
(My prayer is that he gets no further than a block away before he does.)
I am sorry this has happened.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
My husband and I were separated and I had filed for divorce. He was OK with it, too, for a while and even relished in it. With God all things are possible. But know that whatever happens you are not alone. Our Lord and Savior is there and will be there with you every step of the way. We care for you as well. We do not know everything from beginning to end but God does. And He holds you in the palm of His Hands.
Love,
Donna
I don't know if it was talk or if he meant it.
He followed up by saying "it was to set me free so I could find that knight"
but with all he's said about how he likes "the way porn girls are" (ie: looks, how they dress, how they behave etc) I'm wondering if instead of a "virtuous woman" he wants something else?
I have turned off the internet at our house and am at neighbors.
either way, whether he meant it or not, our marriage is destroyed.
We prayed separately and together, quite fervently, he apologized to a few of the porn stars he'd watched as well as donated to our local womans shelter and a few other things God helped him do. We begged God to intercede and salvage it but there's nothing left of it, too much has been said and done. Things you cannot "take back" things you cannot "make right" things you cannot "do over" and things that the bible says are justification to be divorced.
I think he still believes all of the things he has seen on film that the 'girls really do love sex' and he likes how they are. He won't be partaking of it in my home, however so if it's that serious, he can find the door.
My heart goes out to you. I am sorry your husband has been deceived and for the hurt it is causing you.
Love,
Donna
I'm sorry, too, Dawn....but I'm not going to stop praying for you!!! With God, all things are possible. I know that things might seem so impossible right now, but I just want to encourage you to continue praying.
Dawn -- Just know that God loves you, and He has [b]not[/b] forsaken you, your children, or your husband. He knows what is best for us, even when we don't. I've seen marriages that seemed destined for failure, break up, only to be restored again. You must trust the Lord that He is working things out for the best, even though things might seem hopeless on the surface.
The Bible says that God works [b]all things[/b] together for good to those who love Him. I know that you love Him -- take comfort in that.
I care about you, and I will continue praying for you and your family. You are loved.
Hugs,
April
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
You know I was reminded this morning of an event that took place in my life about 9 months ago, in the middle of my separation from my husband. I was speaking with a grown man whom nearly lost his marriage to his drug/alcohol addiction, but through the grace of God, and the perseverance of his wife's prayer life, they were spared from the heartbreak of divorce. I mean she was left at home with two small children night after night after night, had to go pick him up from the hospital many nights because he had passed out and someone called 911 for him. She had to make deals with the utility companies so they wouldn't shut them off because he used all $$ for his fixes. Anyway, to make a long story short, he prayed with me and told me with tears in his eyes,
"Don't stop praying until you get your miracle."
He believed in what he was saying so much that he was moved to tears. He knew what was on the other side of the victory. A marriage that was better than his wildest dreams, a bond with his wife than he never imagined. A relationship that couldn't be shaken. But if they had moved to divorce, they couldn't have gotten that victory.
LISTEN TO ME, Dawn...Don't stop praying until you get your miracle. I was in the same boat you were just a year ago and am amazed at what God has done in my marriage. It took me 5+ years of praying, but this year I prayed REALLY hard and I believe I'm starting to see that miracle that I was praying for.
Read your PM's too.
Andrea
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
Thanks for the reminder to keep praying GodsMiracle......
averysadfla, I was reading another post of yours just now and you said something that must really bless God's heart...
You said, "You would rather find your husband walking the streets of gold" over and above your own earthly desires and love for him to be married to you.
That is an excellent example of putting eternal matters first. That is terribly hard to do because it means you may still be rejected and may even face divorce but...
God can only do supernatural work in the realm of faith and living out our lives on the belief that God is and must be first in everything. True love goes beyond Self and you are on the right road because instead of "going down to your husband's level", you are going up towards God.
He honors right doing and all the while the "fear of divorce/rejection, etc." looms over your head, you are not living in that debilitating fear. To do so would be to live for Self. Instead you are living in the realm of belief and faith for God's purposes in another's life. Belief and faith are God's languages! Amen! For these reasons, He has some awesome, supernatural works in store for your husband and you. Divorce may seem like "an end"... but, God can and oftentimes use those "ominous" things to break and change hearts. Repentance of an adulterous mind is what the Lord is after... no matter what it takes. Thanks for being a testimony to the rest of us as you seek the higher road with God and let things be as they must in order to save a life, a soul. Change can only come by changing and for you to willingly decide not to participate in your husbands' sexual sins of lust to the point of fear of losing him and your marriage is what blesses God's heart. The reason we know this is because- to bring his lust for other women and adulterous mind to you and in your marriage bed where God also resides because He is IN you, is to bring those sins to Him too! Since the Lord CANNOT leave and forsake you, it would be quite absurd for you to ask Him to "wait outside your bedroom door" while you and your husband have a sexual relationship with all of the "other women" in Jesus' bed! This is why God does not require that of you and why the counselor's advice "felt wrong" in your spirit.
So... live in confidence that Jesus is FOR you and He has NOT FORGOTTEN your sacrifice to "go and sin no more" even if it means saying no to a husband you love and even if he decides to divorce you to remain in his sexual sins.
Yes, supernatural things are in store for you girl! Mind-blowing things of which Jesus invites all who know and Love him to believe. He longs to have all of your husband- body, mind and soul- over and above being married to you (but that is a close second because He doesn't forget us when put Him first over and above ourselves.) And guaranteed- even if your husband did leave you, and perhaps even divorce you, he will not forget your willingness to put God first over and above him. That is true Love as God Loves. When he comes to God, in full measure and utter change, he will automatically Love and care about you for Loving his soul that much to set yourself aside. Yes, averysadfla- you are on God's road and it leads to glory... His glory and you as the benefactor.
Live as blessed because you already are. My prayer is that your husband will choose God. The salvation of your marriage is a given if he does and your husband will automatically have a deep and true Love for you also. "Find delight in God first and only, then... He will... give... you the desires of your heart." He already knows your desire is to be married with and Loved by your husband as you Love him. God can't give you those GOOD desires until He is first in every way and besides, who wants anything less than God's best? Amen! What a bright future you have- one with depth and substance as you seek things of depth and substance. This "pain" is very temporary. Accept it. Embrace it. Thank the Lord for it because it is ALL GOOD and for GOOD in your husband's life and yours! For these reasons, we truly can Give Thanks in everything. Bring it on Lord- it is GOOD! Amen!
I am so sorry to hear all of this distruction, Are you positive he really wants a divorce or is he just talking? I am still praying, I will pray very hard tonight and pray for a restoration very quickly if its Gods will. I will pray that if its Gods will he will immediatley turn to him and you to recover this marriage. I bet you must feel devistated right now but dont give up prayer, I am going to pray very hard. I am so sorry, my heart breaks for you. I cant say my marriage is better, I am still praying too for mine. I will pray for ours together.