Hey welcome to the wives section of this forum! I am glad you are here.

As for my husband, yes I know that stress was a trigger for him. He used to work 2 jobs and was going to EMT school at the same time. That left me home with two children to tend to, all the bills to physically pay, housework, and anything else that needed done. He was always super stressed and would turn during that time.

His lack of sleep was always a trigger too. He felt like it was easier to turn to the computer (or his cell phone) and get a "quick fix" rather than do the work it took to involve me.

I'd say those were his two biggest triggers. How did I get him to turn to me? Honestly, I just prayed about it for three very long years. God's timing wasn't as fast as I would have liked but eventually he turned around. There were many things that happened during those three plus years that brought us to highs and lows but the one constant that I did the whole time was prayer. Sometimes I didn't even have the strength to do it myself, I had to pair up with someone and have them pray for my husband, for me. You know that feeling when you're so angry and hurt by him that you can't even stand to sit on the couch with him? Well those were the times I would just drop my prayer partner a line and say hey I need your help. Then when I felt stronger, we'd (my prayer partner and I) pray together and I would pray on my own again.

I'm sure some are wondering why my husband and I didn't pray. He never felt comfortable praying with me. Personally I think it was his conviction and guilt of what he was doing that kept him from being close with me spiritually. Who am I to say though. I can say that I tried on several occasions but he just "didn't feel comfortable" doing it. We went to counseling, too.

Through the last 18 months, we've attended a Christian recovery group as well. That has been really good for us just to have other people in our situations to pray with. My sponsor lives several states away now because I've relocated but we still keep in touch and celebrate those milestones together. Hopefully I can find a support group around here that is just as good so we can get plugged back in.

Anyway if you ever need anyone to talk to, just post here or feel free to PM me. I know where you are and am thankful to not be there anymore. YOU CAN GET ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS I promise!

Andrea
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member