New, and in need of help..
It is now 230a.m. here in California and I am still awake. My husband has a porn addiction, and I just found out a week before our wedding. I was devestated, especially because when we first began dating I clearly said that issues with Porn are a big No No in my book. I have been hurt before by the darkness that porn brings to relationships. Anyways...he claims he just does it because he has done it since he was a teenager and that its better than somethings other married men do (aka: actual sexual contact with other women) and that he wont stop, but he has "cut back" on the amount of porn he watches. I am a stay at home mom/wife and the fear of him running to the computer to get his fix while Im out taking our son to school, going grocery shopping, running to the bank, or any other errand is becoming rediculous. It turns my stomach as I start up my car and wonder if he is going to sneak to the computer again. Do I need to find forgivness in myself to ease the pain? Do I have to keep explaining the hurt it causes, then try to get over the pain of hearing "Im not going to stop, but I wont do it as often" one more time?, I am at a blockwall and feel so empty emotionally. Any help/advice on a way to begin a healing process will help..What if he continues to chose porn, reguardless of my feelings on the subject? Please, any hands that are willing to reach out to me, I am willing to grab...a friend is desperately needed at this time
Comments
Hello, Heaton;
Welcome to the boards. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. I know what you're feeling....my husband was also obsessed with pornography.
I know how hard it can be, but the best advice I can give you is to pray pray pray. Pray for God's conviction on your husband, and pray for strength for yourself. Have you tried using a filter for the computer?
Has he disclosed why it is that he won't stop? One thing you might want to do is have him read some of the testimonies from the girls who have left the industry. Many times, when men are confronted with the truth about their "fantasies," they lose their enjoyment of it. There are a lot of men who have stopped watching porn because the lies were exposed.
There are lots of testimonies like that on this site. Once the men find out how gross and unglamorous pornography really is, and what a lot of the girls really go through, they are so disgusted by the whole thing that they lose a lot of the desire to watch.
Shelley and a couple of the other girls just did an appearance on the Joni Show, talking about pornography and how damaging and disgusting it is. It's on this site. You may want to check it out for yourself, and have your husband watch it. Right now your husband is blinded by the fantasy of porn. Perhaps if he knew the truth, he would want to stop.
How long has he been watching pornography? In your profile, you say that you are Catholic. Do you go to mass? Is there anyone in your church whom you can go and talk to? This is a very difficult time for you, and you need people to encourage and support you.
Whatever you do, you need to pray, and really seek the Lord during this time. You need His strength, and His guidance. Unless your husband resolves in his heart to make a change, he is not going to stop, because the decision is basically his. You need to put this in the Lord's hands, and ask Him to convict your husband's heart.
I am glad that you decided to post here. There are other women on this forum who are going through the same thing you are. Just know that you have people who care about you, and will be praying for you.
Stay encouraged!!! You serve a God who loves you, and who is bigger than your husband's addiction. He will help you through this, but you must seek Him.
Much love
April
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Hey, there;
How are you doing? I notice that you haven't posted lately. I hope everything's okay.
I will say a prayer for you today.
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies