Hello,
I have been with my husband for almost 6 years, by which we have been married a little less than a year.  We have a beautiful baby boy.  When we first got together I caught him with some porn, by which we did have a argument about it.  From this argument he knew going into the relationship that I did not believe in pornography in a relationship.  I understand that some individuals are okay wtih it, but for myself I do not like it in a relationshiip.  I don't know from the beginning of the relationship to just a few months ago, but I caught him looking at porn a little before October and than again in October.  I was furious, but he stated he wouldn't do it again and he would get help.  I for some reason believed him.  Then in December I can home from working and went to my computer and realized I had a crazy pop up, which looked like a sex sight was accessed.  I confronted him about it, by which he admited to looking.  As usual he stated he would get help, which he did once or twice since then, but it seems like its not getting better.  He states hes getting better, but I feel like I am always checking up on him whether it is through his phone or the computer etc.  I feel like I shouldn't have to do this, but just recently I found noises on his phone that he downloaded.  Again to me this is not okay.  I confronted him and he said he was sorry.  He just today when I started talking about the incident that happened said he was sorry and he did not believe it was the same thing.  I don't know how to react and how to feel.  I am hurt!!  I feel like my best friend has taken my heart and ripped it into two.  I don't know who to talk to or where to go.  I feel sometimes like it is my falt.  I don't understand sex addiction and why it is happening.  When having sex I feel that he may be comparing me to those girls, even though he states he is not. I just had my son a few months ago so my self - esteem because of my weight is really low.
 
Thanks for listening and letting me vent.