How do I trust again
Sun, 11/08/2009 - 01:42
My husband has recently had a porn "relapse". He had gone 4 months without looking at it and i really thought it was all behind us. But he managed to get past our internet filter. I was of course devastated!
This sight has been such a help,and we watched and have read stories from ex porn stars. Shelleys work is amazing,and i am hoping the truth and our Lord will help him overcoem this stronghold. However,even if he never looks at porn again, can God supernaturally take all those images of what he has seen out of his head? (I feel like all these women are in the bedroom with us)And what practical steps can i take to start trusting him again? Please help,I'm desperate!!!!!
Comments
Hi, Dee;
I'm so glad that this site has been a help to you and your husband. I'm also sorry for what you two are going through.
As far as God supernaturally taking the images out of your husband's head, I'm sure that He could; I mean, God can do anything, right? But I haven't really heard of Him actually doing this with anyone I know. That doesn't mean that God can't work a miracle in your husband's mind and heart, though, and deliver him from the bondage of porn.
2 Cor. 10:5 commands us that we are to take every thought into captivity. This is telling us that, even though we will have thoughts come into our minds, that we don't have to be held hostage by them.
The less your husband looks at porn, though, the less he will think about it. I think that's a real accomplishment that you husband went for 4 months without looking at it, and even though your husband may have gone back, that doesn't mean that he will continue to go back. I would just encourage him to press forward, and consider this to be a learning experience that he NEEDS to stay on guard in the future.
I can certainly understand your suspicion about your husband's thought life. I just want to encourage you, though, to try with everything you have in you to put those suspicions out of your mind. Even if an image pops into your husband's mind, which it does with a lot of men, that doesn't mean that your husband has to dwell on it. The power of God is sufficiently great to keep him from going there.
Just continue to pray for your husband, for a radical transformation of his heart and mind. There are thoughts that I used to struggle with, and I'm not saying that they never come to my mind anymore, but what the Lord has done has given me such a disdain for those thoughts, that I don't even want to dwell on them, because I want to keep my mind pure. He can do the same for your husband.
One good thing to look at is, if you and your husband can work through this, it will actually strengthen your marriage. Couples who stay together through struggles become even more bondedd together. I pray that the Lord does that for you two.
Just stay encouraged, and don't allow Satan to plant seeds of suspicion in your mind. He wants nothing more than to see marriages fall apart, but God wants to keep yours together...and He is on your side.
Praying for you
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I decided to tell my husband how proud i was that it had been 4 months, and he couldn't have been happier! My support really encouraged him. God is restoring us slowly:)
But i am having a tough day today. After my husband had viewed porn, i went onto our internet filter to view recent activity.I decided to look at what he had seen. I shouldn't have done it because it has just fed my anger. I have forgiven him, but then when i think of what he had chosen to look at instead of me, it makes me so angry and depressed. I know only prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit will enable me to truely forgive. But it's just a bad day today.
Don't fall in to the trap of believing that this has anything to do with your appeal to him....it doesn't....
I think that your being proud of the 4 months was a wonderful thing to do and it is accenting the positive....that will go along way to help him overcome the addiction.
You are amazing and a real witness to the power of Jesus in forgiving and looking for the good even in a bad situtation.
Many blessings,
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member