any success stories? anyone?
Mon, 03/02/2009 - 14:09
where a woman with a porn addicted husband stays, they don't divorce/separate and it goes back to being good and they have a positive, loving relationship (including sexually)?
if there is one, I need to see it.
I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel on this, and all of the testimonies I'm seeing here seem to not end in marriage til' death to us part...or if they do, it's not good.
anybody walked through the fire and came out marriage in tact?
Comments
I totally agree, I need to see and hear more of the victory stories too. Because I hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but I too need to see it in others. And not trying to be negative...but is the light at the end of the tunnel really holding your head down next to magazines and not going to blockbuster and having to limit what you watch on TV? That is NOT an insult to anyone because what works for one doesn't work for others. And I just cannot imagine that even if my soon-to-be hubby even offered to do those things(which he hasn't) is that really the way I want to live life? I like stupid shows on TV like Charm School and they have some "sex" stuff in there and I don't want to have to kick him out of the room or stop watching it because he has a problem and I have to suffer more too. I just cannot imagine this...is there anyone out there where things just went back to as close to a normal as you can get or is that it? Am I the only one still discouraged after some stories of hope?
I know this is an older post, but I wanted to post my story for anyone else who comes across this.
I found out about my husband's addiction to porn over 2 years ago and now our lives are drastically different. At the time I thought I'd never heal. And honestly, I'm still healing. But God has taught me a lot in the process and thankfully my husband was willing to change.
He stopped looking at porn and anything lust-driven and has been so faithful ever since. He won't even go to Blockbuster. Our movie choices are slim. He puts his face down in the grocery store when he goes by the magazines, and I even catch him doing this when I'm not near him.
He truly wants to be pure now. And only God has brought him there. I had to back off and allow him to find that on his own, meanwhile loving him. But I was still firm. He knew that I'd leave if he didn't seek faithfulness (although I never would REALLY leave).
I know our story isn't common. A lot of men have a more difficult time getting out of this. It is the most serious addiction out there. I think it's the worst. Satan knows what he's doing and he's got a lot of people strangling.
The truest but hardest statement in all this: It's not about me.
There's something deeper, more evil than we can every imagine going on beneath the surface of all this. It's very sad, but yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel on both ends. My story, Shelley's story, they prove that God is miraculous and can change hearts in ways you never imagined... we just have to let Him...
Some men don't want the change yet. They don't want God to transform their lives. And they've got to REALLY, REALLY want it. Not just a little, not just here and there, but really, truly want purity.
I will be praying for you, Dawn. I read your recent posts and they make me realize more and more how ugly sexual sins are. They destroy everything beautiful about a persons heart and a couples marriage. I will be praying for freedom for everyone.
Thank you for posting your story. I know it will encourage many, because as we all know, Satan doesn't want us to think that there is actually hope!!!!
He wants us to think that it is impossible to break free from the bondage of sexual sin, but we all know that God is bigger than our sin and addiction. Your story is proof positive of that.
Thank so much for sharing.
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I've been married 24 years, and I've left my husband over this, and wanted out so badly. But he was as compulsively driven to get me back as he was to masturbate. Eventually he wore me down. Things in our marriage got better. He's nicer to me, and I think he must masturbate less, because he can actually get slightly hard with viagra with me. I tried to watch porn with him, but i hated how it did my mind (and i'm NOT religious!) When I don't want sex, he happily grabs his movies. He's nice to me, he's definitely more loving and affectionate then he was years ago, BUT, I do not like living like this. I've acted out against him, distroying my own values in the process. I'm getting old now, i'm not young, and this is no way to grow old gracefully.
I really appreciate what you wrote. Because I know the goal is to remain positive and to save what you have lost. But you are also being real and giving examples of some things I thought about. Like letting him do what he needs to do if I can't or won't because I didn't have an issue with porn and males before now. And I really didn't have a problem with masturbation as long as I didn't know about it. I never knew about a previous man I was with doing it even though I was sure they did. And now it is in my face. He used to compulsively touch himself and that is his greatest urge to fight off and he is fighting to keep that one and doesn't see anything wrong with that one. And technically there isn't. That is the whole sucky thing about this addiction is there are very few lines drawn and there is a lot of room for right and wrong and good and bad. It is awful! And I did have an issue at first with thinking it was a problem with me and now I don't. I realized after I read one site that it wasn't my fault. But now I'm angry because of that fact. That it is NOT...my fault so why am I sitting here dealing with all the crap and the pain and losing myself just like you are talking about and my morales? I have hit him, I have screamed I have lot total control over what I used to value. And it has gotten better now but the fact it is not my fault ironically makes me more mad and less able to deal with this I think. Does anyone else share this too?
Keep in mind that when I separated, there were MANY other factors going on. But, yes we are doing well now.
Have you ever listened to Casting Crowns? Check out "Praise You in This Storm" It was my strength all of last year. That one and "Strong Tower" by Kutless.
Andrea
Moderator
Pink Cross Team
it's good to hear a 'success story' thank you.
~an aspiring virtuous woman. Proverbs 31.
Averysadfla, I know you're asking about a porn addicted husband, but I was a porn addicted wife with a husband who stuck by me and we are now doing great. Had it not been for my husband's constant love and forgiveness, I don't know where I would be today. Even when he didn't know what would come of our marriage, he continued to pray and trust Jesus to work on me, and He did. It was a rough road to trod and it was not easy by any means, but our marriage is now a testimony because of the mercy and grace of God.
GodzPrincess
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member