Am I allowed to ask?
Tue, 11/17/2009 - 01:48
It's been 2 weeks since my hubby slipped and viewed porn. I am praying constantly for God to help me trust again and to not hold it against my him. God is doing an awesome work in our marriage. We are working through it together. This site is my constant companion.
I just want to know, can i ask him how it's going? If he's been tempted to look or if he's fantasized about other women? Or is that the wrong thing to do? Would it be like i'm policing him? Even when we watch a movie or walk past magazines, i turn to see if he's not looking. Is this obsessive behaviour? Should i just shut it and pray instead?
I am praying that God continues to bless all of you who are doing His work,and doing such an amazing job at it! Thank you!
Comments
Hi, Dee;
First of all, thank you so much for your prayers. They are so vital, and we really appreciate them.
As far as you asking your husband, I don't see that being a problem, but you might also want to pray and ask the Lord to show you the right approach. On the one hand, you want to be a support and an encouragement to your husband, but like you said, you don't want him to think that you are policing him.
Just make it known that you are asking him because you care about him, and want to be a support to him. Let him know that you love him, and are praying for him daily, and that you want to know his struggles, not so that you can judge him, but so that you can pray for him and be a real support. Most of all, just let him know that you love him, and that he needn't hide anything from you. If you can encourage him to be open and honest, I really think that it will keep you from living in suspicion.
One other thing that I just want to encourage you in, and I have heard from other women how this works -- is to pray, not only for him, but also with him. There is something very powerful in coming together before the Lord, and it also shows him that you are not only his maritial partner, but his spiritual partner, as well.
Continue to love him as you are doing, and seek the Lord. I know that God is going to work powerfully in your marriage, and will continue to heal it. He is so good and loving that way.
Please continue to let us know how things are going.
Be blessed and encouraged
In Christ always
April
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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