Young boys are very vulnerable to what you teach them. I am living proof. Let me share...

Ever since I was a young boy, I have endured sexual and pornographic experiences. When I was 4, I was sexually abused by a family friend. I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. Confused and scared. My dad had pornography in the house and I always found it. For people to say that kids don't understand what it is is an absolute lie! I knew what it was... Just did not understand certain things about it.

My parents got divorced when I was 5. When my dad left, another man moved in who was much younger. He was a body builder and was very full of himself. He was HUGE into pornography and sex. From the time I was 5 till I left his very abuse grips at 13, I endured physical, emotional and mental abuse. My older sister endured sexual abuse that still hurts her today. I remember when I was 12, I was allowed to have my own "stash" of porno magazines. He would tell me stories about his affairs and then tell me not to tell anyone or he would get me. "Edited by Moderator" He would beat my mother in front of me and then he would want to make up all the time. He had no regard for children or their well being at all.

When I turned 13, I had the opportunity to leave his grips and I did. I moved in with my dad. Unfortunately, the grips and lies of pornography had taken a hold of me. My dad still had pornography, so that never left my life as a teenager.

High school was rough. I had friends, was the light of the party, but had very low self esteem. I had 2 girlfriends, but they didn't last because I was too shy and had such poor self esteem that it ruined it. So I was never successful in relationships. SO, I was a young man, addicted to pornography and never being able to be in a relationship. Very lonely, very hard, very painful.

About 7 years ago, I started going to a church that dealt with sexual and porn addiction. I joined that group and it made an amazing impact in my life. I began to understand the truths and the pains of these kinds of addictions. Finding my way out was crucial. Today I am 35, and see a future without the grips of pornography in it. I still battle with self esteem, and have a hard time in relationships, not having a girlfriend in 15 years. But I pray that as I share, open and find the emotional and mental healing, someday I can begin to see myself as the person God created me to be... and be willing to share it with someone.

Thanks for letting me share my very condensed version of my testimony...

Chris