Setting Captives Free
I've decided to go through the course again, been falling off and on since I fell after 59 days of freedom. I have added my pastor as an accountability partner, he will get my completed lessons via e-mail. Perhaps I rushed through the course the first time and didn't apply the teaching wholeheartedly, would appreciate prayer as I seek the Lord in this again.
Whatever form of recovery/ministry you go to, everyone will say untill you've "hit bottom" you will most likely not do what it takes to be free. I've thought about this in my life, I can recall several times I've hit what you could call a bottom in my life, and I have had the thought; "what if I need more pain, what if I haven't gone down far enough to truly want to be free?" However, what if I go any further and that results in death, or what if I go so far that I never again want to be free at all? It can be quite confusing, perhaps I'm thinking if I truly want freedom these things will no longer tempt me.
Hope you do well, friend. I tried SCF before, two or three times. I just felt like something was missing, like I wasn't getting everything I needed in my heart to truly live free. But, perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps it's time I try again. I'm gonna pray about it.
In any case, I hope this turns things around for you. I wonder sometimes, what is rock bottom, really? Does it mean I'll have to completely tank my life first? I have a hard time believing that God would require us to have to destroy ourselves completely before we'll be able to see how bad we need him. Ah, I dunno. I'm ranting, sorry, LOL.
Long days and pleasant nights to ya.
I don't know either, if it doesn't work they'll tell you it was because you didn't want it to, or God didn't grant you repentance for some reason...
We repent of our choice, not because God gives it to us. He may break us and help us see how badly we need to. But no one can do the repenting for us.
Ah, anyway. I hope you're doing alright.
Not at the moment, been falling pretty hard. I really thought I was going to make it last time, I had the most strech of purity in my life.
Lord...
I thank you for all of the men here who know the feeling of the pit.. and can admit it.
God... this battle is hard, and it it fought so often on or knees... and it is from there that I lift up Candlemass... We celebrate the days of purity that he experienced... and the stretch of time that went between looks and between the masturbation... thank you for the many victories that I am sure took place during those days and weeks... and thank you, Lord for the repentance that has taken place in the defeat.. thank you for the conviction of our sin... I know that we can not go back to the person that we were before our fall... but we believe that you can make Candlemass new. With obedience, repentance, celebration, grace, mercy and love... we pray. In Jesus' name... Amen.
Chadwick
Pink Cross Moderator
I'm meeting w/my pastor and an elder of the church tomorrow morning to plot a course for my repentance. Of course repentance is simply turning from sin to God, but it may play out and look different in individual lives. I ask for prayer that God would guide us w/wisdom in this matter, as it is, I am quite useless to the church of Christ.
"For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles—when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries."--1st Peter 4:3
I quit the course this time after about 14 days, couldn't abstain even during that time, and now have been benging like crazy! Not sure what to do anymore, really thought I was going to make it last time. I've also put on considerable weight, wich is par for the course. This has been a pattern of mine; something shakes me to reality, I come to my senses and attempt to repent. I leave whatever band I'm in and go into seclusion, get depressed and eat/watch tv, read books...It's like I have no motivation or social life outside the music scene.
i am new to this site and have the same problem as you i can be free for a time and then end up doing the same thing. i know that Jesus came to set us free. my friend don't lose hope i know this is hard but we can do this through Christs strength and love for us. your friend in Christ carl
I'm by no means giving up, just not returning to SCF, it's not for me.
http://whodoesithurt.com/multimedia/videocasts/39-temptation