Lust/fantasy problem
Hi there, not sure if this is the right place for this as it does not involve porn. But I am struggling to break free of the lust I have had toward a co-worker (a sister in Christ) for at least 3 years now. I am having trouble letting go of several rationalizations -
1) that I'm somehow protecting all my other sisters in Christ, by unleashing all my lust towards this one. Whenever I'm tempted to have lustful thoughts about a sister at my church - which hits too close to home and would make me feel awful - there's a huge chance I'll fantasize about my co-worker instead.
2) that I can let myself just feel my sexual feelings towards this co-worker. You know, dabble in the mud a little. Inevitably it gives way to full blown fantasy.
3) that I've already blown it so many times with this one person, so it's ultra-convenient to blow it again with her. It's like it's too late to re-virginize myself if that makes any sense.
All I know is that I'm sinning like crazy, but am not able to stop. Any help would be appreciated. I apologize if this really isn't the forum for this.
Comments
This is the perfect place for a question like that. You are not the only person going through that in a church. Even a few women in the church have had the same fantasy about another male church member...even the pastor.
You didn't say if you work with this woman at your church. At times it is very hard to pinpoint what may have started the lusting toward this woman. It could have been a simple smile or a handshake. At times just being overly friendly (misintepreted flirting)...or the dredded twinkle in the eye.
You also didn't state if she is the same age as you or possibly a married woman.
I have spoke with a few people who were in the same situation. Some went as far as removing themselves from the situation as in changing Sunday school classes, sitting in a different area in the church (out of sight, out of lust), some had to actually attend another church...yes it was that bad for them. I remember my pastor actually asked a few members to attend other churches because he noticed how bad the interactions had gotten. Whether it was right or wrong for him to suggest it. It may have been his only option at that moment in time.
Jesus loves you. Ask him to bind that lustful spirit and be free. Ask God to change the situation your in. He knows your struggles. Most importantly, talk to Jesus as your friend. He happens to be on our level. ...and it's nice to have a friend to talk to like that.
God Bless!
Hey man great to have you around here! I would encourage you to read up on some of the resources on this site lots of great information. As for your situation as I was reading it I could really relate to what you said. At my church there are loads of woman in fact more so than men who attend and I can not help but notice them and I struggled with that same issue just by going to church! And Also I worked on the refreshments team and there was some nice woman who I noticed and enjoyed working with and I even started to think is it right for me to work with thease people is it putting myself into a bad situation? My mind was kind of all stressed out about stuff! Then someone told me to do this when you notice the woman at church you could pray for them in your mind or head like when you see them and just thank God for them and ask God to bless them. That sort of helped me a bit as it takes the focus off and puts the focus onto God. Try praying for her when you see her.
That’s the best / main advise I can give to you hope it helps.