Let's Win Together. Daily Sign-Up!
The longest time I have gone without viewing porn or masterbating ever since I realized it was a danger in my life was 89 days. I was first exposed to porn when I was close to 15; I'm currently 26. In the last few years is when I got to realize the full extent of the danger of this addiction. So I tried to quit so many times and failed. As I mentioned, I was able to quit for 89 days once. The "feeling so guilty" and "crying to God and asking for forgiveness" didn't really keep me away for longer than a week, as far as I remember. Don't misunderstand me here; just keep reading and you'll get my point. When I was able to back off of porn/masterbation for those 89 days sometime a year ago, the way I was able to do that was by signing-up every single day that I was free for the day before. I would go to an excel file that I created for this purpose and I would just put the date and type "addiction-free" as a way of signing up. That kept me clean for 89 days. I believe it worked for that long because it kept reminding me every single day that I have a serious problem/addition that I needed to deal with. The feeling guilty and askig for forgivness is of course a must thing to do at first. However, everytime I was so regretful and asked God to forgive me and I moved on, I only stayed clean for a couple of weeks Maximum. One reason I think for that is unlike the "signing-up" everyday appreach, it didn't remind me of the consequences of my addiction daily. Once I felt so ashamed and asked God to forgive me, I basically would move on and later on forget that I was dealing with a serious problem. At that point is when I would only be thinking of the "pleasure" that comes of viewing porn and masterbation. But during the period I was doing the daily-sign-up, everytime I was tempted to go view porn I would be reminded of the daily-sign-up I was doing and why I was doing it. I would quickly be reminded that I was doing it because I have a dangerous addiction; I would be reminded of the consequences right away.
SO, I want to give this approach a try again. I believe I will be victorious this time around. Especially, that I have found this website where I have learned so much about the horrific side of the porn industry which I never got to realize before. Thank God for this website. I learned of it through the Joni Show. The following are the things I plan to do along with my daily-sign-up right here on this forum:
* I am commited to be immersed in the word like never before; read it daily
* Help the Pink Cross foundation financially as much as I could. I am a strong believer in sowing a seed and ripping the harvest. I will donate to Pink Cross as a way of sowing a seed in believing God to help me fight the battle. I have obviously contributed to the abusse the women go through in the porn industry by viewing and at times paying for the movies. I am sure it would please God to try to get out of this mess by helping the women I had been hurting.
TOO LONG for my first post already! To conclude, I have been clean of this mess for a couple of weeks new; that's when I learned of this site and when I made my first donation right away. I had such a happy week then after and still happy. Already feel my confidence has improved. I feel stronger about bitting this addition than never before. Thank God for this site again! I will be doing my daily-sign-ups here starting tomorrow. Hope some of you will join me.
Sam.
Addiction free from 03/06/10(learned of Pink Cross)till now. Am gonna do this sign-up everyday!
Day 11...FREE!!
Jesus Is Lord!!!
Day 14...Free!!!
Thank you God!
Day 15...Still Free!
Thank you lord!
I am in the company of soldiers who are willing and able to man up...
Chadwick
Pink Cross Moderator
"Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
James 1:12
Thank you for your kinds words. I've found it encouraging.
God bless you.
Sam.
Day 16, free!
Had a high temptation. I didn't read the word the day before, and I guess my flesh kind of took over. Got to read the word daily!
Day 17...free!!
AWESOME!
Day 18...Free!
Day 19...Free!!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 21...still free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 22...free!!!
The days are going fast...AWESOME!!!
Way to go, man!
Day 24! Free!
Thank You Lord!
Thanks you bro!
Day 25...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 26...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 27! Free!
JESUS IS LORD!
Awesome...
Chadwick
Pink Cross Moderator
"Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
James 1:12
Day 28...Free!
Thank You Lord!!!
I love my life just like this!
I'm only on Day 12, but I know what you mean.
Just feel so much better this way.
One thing I've noticed: (I'll try and say this as politely as possible).
Porn, especially internet porn, makes it harder for you to be aroused than you once were. I say especially internet porn because it gives you the ability to find any specific request for the kind of content that you want at any specific time. What you want, when you want it. In seconds. Couldn't do that before.
So I've noticed a lack in drive as time goes on. And, of course, as a Christian, I'm not looking to go screw around, so I'm managing lust with God's help.
But I have noticed that I'm more sensitive now - part of that is that the lack of exposure to it on a spiritual level has made me more sensitive to how pervasive "sex sells" is around us. But also, on a physical level, I've noticed higher drive and energy, although I am of course not "using" it.
Ironic, I suppose, but definetely welcome.
I tried to keep that as clean as I could.
Porn/masterbation definitely does desensitise you. I can imagine how married people with this addiction are being affected by it. I want a healthy, passionate, and loving marriage... and so that is one of the reasons why I am willing to fight it now before getting married.
The benefits I'm already ripping are many. I feel right with God, which makes me happy. That also means no guilty feeling all over me. I feel more confident. I am more focused and more energetic. You know, when I had the addiction, I used to watch porn and masterbate so many times till my joints hurt and till I feel so tired. You can imagine how much lack of desire and energy I had to do the things that I was suppossed to do. At times, life became less meaningful to me. All of that associated with the devil's work I was involved in (watching porn). Now that I've quit watching porn and masterbating, I am also healthier. Seriously, I don't know how many of you out there have realized this, but I really think masterbation has negative effect on our body. I even don't have the same look on my face. My skin looks more beautiful and radiant when I'm not doing all of that. Maybe, it's also because I'm more happy; the bible says that a happy heart lightens up the face.
So these are just some of the reasons why our lives are SO MUCH better without it.
God bless!
Sam.
Day 29...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 30...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
1 month free, congrats!
Thank you brother!
Day 31...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!
Day 32...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 33...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 34...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Feels like my life is going in the right direction. LOVE IT!
Day 35...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 36...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 37...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 38...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Day 39...Free!
JESUS IS LORD!!!
Would have been day 40 on the 15th. I think I failed. I have not watched porn; however, I masterbated. Well, even though I didn't view porn, I obviously didn't masterbate without the lust. So, now am a bit confused. Is it like if you fail in one you fail in both? Like I mentioned, I haven't viewed porn, but what good does it do if I still fail to lust once in a while? Should I start counting my free days all over again? Was hard to admit my failure, but finally got it out.
Sam.
You're 45 days porn-free, brother.
Porn-free is porn-free. Lust is a much bigger monster, one that I don't think any of us in the early stages of this journey have fully defeated.
It makes sense, I mean - because we're abstaining, that means that biologically, we're "building up" if you know what I mean. That means more angst.
I, myself, have had to really fight lustful thoughts since starting this. I now, strangely, feel more tempted to masturbate than to actually look at porn.
You're 45 days porn-free, 5 days masturbation-free. DO NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT. God is still with you, He is still fighting for you. Have faith, and pray.
Keep going, brother. I'll pray for you.
Thanks bro!
"I now, strangely, feel more tempted to masturbate than to actually look at porn." Yes, exactly the same thing here!
The "building up" you talked about does make a lot of sense.
Thanks for your insight again.
Sam.
While I am a big supporter of what Pink Cross is about, ending porn, or hating it enough will not end this epidemic. We all know that but need to be reminded of it sometime. This is about much more. Porn, affairs, masturbation, fantasy. All of them are forms of false intimacy. God made us for authentic relationship. Real relationship requires risk and discernment about those which are safe and those that are not.
The neurochemical component of this problem will continue to rear its ugly head for a while even though you get to a place where you hate porn. Forty days is a really good stretch. So keep up the good work. Also, keep in relationship with others, not just in a forum but in safe places like healthy groups, church, safe family, and the like.
Thanks for sharing what God is doing in your life. It only gets better and better. That doesn't mean it gets easier and easier though.
Yes, i did think hating porn was the end game. Well, I'm learning more and more...
I've decided to tackle them one at a time. Viewing porn doesn't seem to tempt me now adays. So am tackling masterbation now. Then after will move on to avoiding lust and that kind of stuff. I've realized trying to tackle all of them at once could be a reason for failure by itself. So, so far so good. Thanks for your all great advices. Yes, I've been making an effort to socialize with people in person. It's been close to two months now since I've started going to the youth program at my church. I've also started going to a campus christian fellowship at my school. This addiction was definitely making me careless about socializing with people. All that is chaning now. Thanks for the great advice bro!
Sam.
Today is day 52 for me without porn!
Thanks to God!
56 days porn-free
16 days masterbation-free
I read some interesting article under the women's posts, and learned something really important. The article says that masterbation is "self-abuse" and the dictionary indeed lists masterbation as one of the difinitions of self-abuse. So now when I get the urge to masterbate I would say "heck no! am not going to abuse myself!" ... it's been helpful.
Sam.
57 days porn-free
17 days masterbation-free
Thanks be to God!
At the end of this new week the numbers will read 64 and 24.
Reaching 21 days clean of both is an important milestones in terms of habit weakening and new habit formations.
With God anything is possible.
God has just put something in my heart this very moment. It's a message I have to give you.
Your success is not only measured by the number of days, but more importantly by the number of lustful thought you banish away.
When desires for fantasies arise, come to God and behold His presence.
Bless you!
-
Mark
70 days porn free!
Wow.. This is awesome! After reading this and seeing how you've been able to persevere I've started to do the samething. I opened an excel file for the sole purposes of doing this. I have hope that finally I will overcome this! As you say, Jesus is Lord!
Day 82...No more!!!
I am happy to hear that MadeToBeFree; you sure can do it with the help of the Almighty! Stay strong and focused!
God Bless!
Sam
Keep up the good work!
God Bless
Thanks billyjoel!!