I need your prayers, please
I am a lifelong masturbation addict, and a porn addict for the past 30 years. I am powerless over these addictions; I am crying out, begging for God's forgiveness and release from the forces that bind me. I have 'refromed' a thousand times in my life, swore I was finished only to fall again and each time felt worse for my actions. If I am not possessed then I am surely opressed with the seducing demons of lust. I know God is able to overcome satan but I cannot. I made porn my idol and now it wont let me go. My thought life is polluted; I am unable to moderate the foulness of it. I fear God has, as quoted in Romans chapter 1, given me over to a reprobate mind. I pray he has not and at the same moment I do my mind hears the call of familiar lusts. I crucify our Lord Jesus anew every day by my actions. I read the bible and then masturbate or view porn. I am a walking contradiction wanting to serve God and still mired in the old creature. I felt I had to confess these sins to other believers and ask them to uplift me in their prayers. I cannot stand the thought of continuing to fail God anymore. I openly beg for Gods deliverance from these demons. That the lustful desires and sinful addictions bind me no more........ever. Please pray for me. Please pray for me.
Comments
How can I possibly call myself a Christian when I keep sliding back into this sewer?? I beg and pray for forgiveness from Christ and those whose lives have been mared by the filth of porn and sexual sin. Why cant this opression end? Am I bound to hell for not defeating this opression? Please, I beg you all continue to lift me in prayer will you? May God Almightly richly bless you for that.
Howdy Faceless1,
I wondered for years about how I could call myself a Christian and still be addicted to porn. I realized one day that I had no reason to call myself a Christian at all - but not because I was addicted to porn. In a given 10 minutes of any day, I have so many selfish, un-Christlike thoughts I couldn't really call myself Christlike or a Christian. I lamented about this, and asked God why He would care. His answer was shocking to me, and very liberating. His answer is, No one has a right to call themselves a Christian, but God gives us the gift of being His children!
I read Colossians 1:21-23. I'll quote it here in the New American Standard Version (NASB):
21 And although you were formerly alienated and hostile in mind, engaged in evil deeds,
22 yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach--
23 if indeed you continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the gospel that you have heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, was made a minister.
There are a couple of things in these verses that need to be explained:
First, in the NASB, the phrase "if indeed" is a literal translation of a Greek phrase which should be translated as "since". The meaning of verse 23 is "since you continue in the faith..."
Second, and most importantly, the Greek phrasing in the phrase "to present you before Him" indicates this happened at the moment of salvation, and it's a permanent state before God.
These verses say that when we accept Christ, God himself declares we are "holy and blameless and beyond reproach". Notice these verses never mention our behavior. Of course our behavior matters, but our standing with God is not dependant on our behavior!
I realized when I viewed myself in shame over my behavior, I was saying that what God declared about me wasn't good enough - that I could somehow change how God saw me if I sinned. I also realized this was my pride talking, that I wanted to control my standing before God so much, I wasn't willing to accept that my standing before God is a gift from Him. I wasn't willing to accept His grace.
This may seem theoretical, but the application of it these truths are very concrete. According to God, you never have to question His love or acceptance of you because of you behavior. This may seem like a license to sin, and immature Christians would take it this way. What it really means is if you have sinned, God will always accept you. He isn't the task master I need to please, He's the ally who wants me to succeed.
Realizing all this started me on the road to overcoming my shame. I've realized that my porn addiction is just one of the ways I throw shame on myself. Shame is a lie. Shame says I should be good enough in myself to control my addictions without help. The Bible doesn't back this notion up. Self Control is a fruit of the Spirit. Even decent behavior is a gift from God.
As with all gifts from God, I need to submit to Him to accept it. He doesn't force even good things on people who cling to their pride.
I realized that, by wallowing in my shame, I was clinging to my pride. I was saying to myself "I should be able to fix this by myself". It was a hard lesson to learn (and I'm continuing to learn it in many ways), but I have to give up my Shame to accept God's grace. I'm still learning how to rely on God to give up my Shame.
I hope my sharing this helps. I'm continuing to pray for you!
God Bless You,
Jess
Hey faceless1,
On top of the already prayers and support that has already been posted...I thought I might offer a few things from a different angle if your interested...
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9.
We live under a covenant of grace and we must accept it, claim it and grab hold of it! We must apply the grace of God and literally use it in our own lives...why?....because we need it!
As David Wilkerson says: "It is not enough to be a forgiven cripple, a relieved prisoner. There is something we must do. Christ's part is to clear us before God and our part is to get up and walk! We must go beyond relief from sins into the freedom of his resources."
"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."" 2 Cor 12:9
I heard a preacher say recently, that part of the reason why we all suffer is because we are alive! Dead people don't have the same problems us living people do!
But in order to be men who overcome, real men, we need to put aside our striving, our focus on our inadequacies and our current circumstance and begin to depend on God and His resources to provide the victory for us!
I hope this helps bro,
Dan
My brother, why are you so hard on yourself? Jesus has died so that your sins are forgiven. He knows your weakness, He knows how Satan has filled the world with immoral sex, He knows how easy it is to fall.
Romans 7: We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
Don't make concrete plans to stop and never return to porn ever again because you can't keep it up. Why? Because you, like the rest of mankind, are a sinner. Pray God help you, keep busy, and if you fall and view porn, pray the Lord forgive you so that you can enjoy that peaceful relationship with Him. But He will never leave you, no matter what you do. This is how much love He has for you. Are you not moved to love him back. Of course you are. Let God's love for you, and your love for God be the key to fighting porn.
You will win this battle, it may take the rest of your human life to fight it, but this is what makes God so happy with you, that you fight, not always win, but you fight.
The less hard you are on yourself, the easier it is to fight. Remember the feelings of victory when you won, hang on to feelings. And when you loose the battle, focus on God's grace, that He still loves you, and this, I am sure, will move you to fight another day.
Praise God
Lord, I lift faceless1 up to You. Thank You Lord, for his honesty and candidness. Lord, I pray You guide faceless1 to see You as the God of Grace, not the God of Judgment. Lord, You say you sympathize with our weaknesses. You understand where faceless1 is at.
Lord, You didn't just die for him, but You love him, You like him and You are on his side. Please lead him to get his eyes off his sin, and to look at You. While You don't want us to sin, You definitely don't want us to only see ourselves as sinners! By Your grace, we aren't sinners in You, we're saints who sin (Col 1:21-23). Please lead faceless1 out of his shame, and into a healthy view of himself, You, and other people.
Lord, You used my sexual addiction to show me how to depend on You, even for just living every day. You showed me my sinful actions were a result of my sinful heart attitudes (my resentments, fears, shames, unresolved pain). You showed me how I could bring them all to You, and to a person I trust (James 5:16). You lead me to Christ centered recovery (Celebrate Recovery). You've given me victory over turning to prostitutes, You're giving me more and more victory over my shame, and I know You'll give me victory over pornography.
I pray You lead faceless1 to the answers You have for him. Thanks that he isn't faceless to You. He's Your little boy. You love him more than he can understand, even so much that while You want to lead him out of his sinful habits, You don't see him as "sinner" or "masturbator" - You see him as Your adorable little boy (Romans 8).
Lord, if faceless1 is like me, he's struggling with accepting that we're not supposed to provide our own solutions to our sin. We're supposed to surrender to You so You can show us how not to sin (Rom 8:13). Please lead him to realize he isn't supposed to have his own answers, but he's supposed to lean on You for them.
Wow, Lord, I've gone on a bit, haven't I? Thanks for loving faceless1 as he is. Thanks for loving him so much You want to lead him into victory. I ask that, in Your grace, You lead him to do his 2%, so You can do Your 98%.
Lord, if I left anything out of my prayer, I ask you to address all the things I didn't know how to pray for.
Amen
Hang in there faceless1! God loves You, and I think you are cool. Not many men get to the place where they are as honest as you have been here. God will honor that. He's got a direction He wants You to head in to secure His victory over your sin in your life. We're rooting for you!
Wow! That was an excellent post, JessIAm. When you sent out that prayer for faceless1, I feel like you sent out a prayer for ALL of the porn and masturbation addicts that have ever posted on this forum, including myself. Bravo!
Thanks ian201. There's a lot of hard won experience in that prayer I guess - hard won as in I'm a stuborn fool at times, but God still manages to get His point across ;)
I think I'll repost the prayer as something for all of us. Your response got me thinking - I should pray that for everyone
Faceless,
Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you.
Don't give up!