I gave in yesterday, but . . .

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williae3
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After 5 weeks of success, I went to an internet porn site, and quite frankly, I went overboard. This morning, I feel dirty, and yet, at the same time, I am encouraged, because I know why I fell for the porn bug. Up until this past weekend, I was spending quantity and quality time in the Word of God, prayer, and witnessing, but these activities decreased a great deal in the last four days, and that is why I fell. God has forgiven me (and I am grateful); now, I would like to apologize and ask forgiveness from all of you who are a part of the Pink Foundation. My committment to rid the world of porn filth will NOT change or die in me (believe that).

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90 miles
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Yes

Of course you can; however, having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ should make beating any type of addiction easier.

ryanmillay
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This Should Help

The truth about Porn
There is no Glamour or Glory in the Porn Industry. THERE IS NO FUN. Day after day I was a witness to the constant abuse of women being slapped, choked and spit on and even tortured in the porn industry. Not to mention the amount of drug abuse that occurred. The constant cocaine snorting, marijuana smoking and pill popping that went on, was ridiculous. Now it's even worse. The use of Vicoden and Oxycontin and eventually Heroin is more predominent now more than ever. Being that the pills are far too expensive and Heroin is much cheaper. I know, I have a friend that's 19 year old son is struggling with the addiction of Heroin. That is the pattern of drug abuse that leads into Heroin addiction. I was one of the men that participated in those disgusting activities with the exception of Heroin. It was all about the money and there wasn't much to be made at all. In fact men were only being paid 100 - 150 dollars for the 45 minutes of potential abuse and the possibility of being locked up for Domestic Violence. Would you call that fun? It's quite shocking that people ask if I had fun, or if I made a-lot of money. It's a common question for me to have the answer for these days. Well here it is, cut and dry. NO! It wasn't fun. It was never fun. For some reason (morally) I knew that what I was doing was wrong in the eyes of Jesus Christ. I knew that to treat a woman with such utter disrespect was the worst thing I could be doing. People are constantly asking me if it’s really true that women like what they are doing on the porn set. The answer was made quite clear to me that when I saw certain activities going on I could tell that it was not what they had expected. Nor was it what I expected. I expected to be loved and wanted as though I always had a girlfriend and was going to be able to make money at it without the headache of being in a relationship. To watch a woman jump up and run off screaming at the top of her lungs because of mental anguish was very disturbing to all the men on the set. To watch a woman get sick and throw up on someone, go to the restroom and clean herself up and return to finish a scene. Yeah Right, she was thought to be a champion. Give me a break. To see women fighting over me and trying to establish "RULES" as to who could work with me, was just a joke. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw 2 of them beating each other up because of jealousy. It was as though it was "The Real World" before it ever exsisted on MTV.People talk about fantasies and that is the worst one I ever experienced, because it never came true and has haunted me for the past 14 years. Now is the time to put an end of allowing children to get into this industry. No matter if they are 18 or 25 they are still considered children in the eyes of God. Some people are ridiculing me and saying that I am a “Jesus Freak” and that I am a “Church Nut”. So be it. I am the one that has to live with the fact that I made terrible decisions and wrong choices in my life. I am the only one that is responsible for my actions and when I die, the last thing I want to be is judged for those choices and be turned away from the gates of heaven. You can call me what ever you want. You can tell me that I didn’t do enough porno and that there isn’t enough info on my history on the internet, all you want. The fact is simple. I did enough to know it wasn’t for me. Having been in over 30 (straight) videos, justifies the fact that I have every right to speak out against the Porn Industry and do what ever it takes to get my trash off the internet. I will fight this industry until the day I die. The most important thing to remember is that someone’s child (Straight or Gay) is in a porn video. We all know in our right minds that it is just flat out wrong. How can anyone think that it is cool to see there neighbors son or daughter in a porn? There has been so many people that I have known in the industry that are dead and died at a very young age. The majority of them were good nice and honest people that were obviously lost and or abused in there childhood. Why does society look at this industry as something that is just acceptable? I can answer that. It’s because the lack of morals that we grew up with when we were growing up are gone. This country is falling apart. Our founding fathers of the United States of America based this country on Christian belief and faith.
No one can deny that many of the founding fathers of the United States of America were men of deep religious convictions based in the Bible and their Christian faith in Jesus Christ. Of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence, nearly half (24) held seminary or Bible school degrees. These Christian quotes of the founding fathers will give you an overview of their strong moral and spiritual convictions which helped form the foundations of our nation and our government.
1st U.S. President George Washington
"While we are zealously performing the duties of good citizens and soldiers, we certainly ought not to be inattentive to the higher duties of religion. To the distinguished character of Patriot, it should be our highest glory to add the more distinguished character of Christian."
--The Writings of Washington
John Adams
2nd U.S. President and Signer of the Declaration of Independence
"Suppose a nation in some distant Region should take the Bible for their only law Book, and every member should regulate his conduct by the precepts there exhibited! Every member would be obliged in conscience, to temperance, frugality, and industry; to justice, kindness, and charity towards his fellow men; and to piety, love, and reverence toward Almighty God ... What a Eutopia, what a Paradise would this region be."
"The general principles on which the fathers achieved independence were the general principles of Christianity. I will avow that I then believed, and now believe, that those general principles of Christianity are as eternal and immutable as the existence and attributes of God."
--Adams wrote this on June 28, 1813, in a letter to Thomas Jefferson.
"The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever."
--Adams wrote this in a letter to his wife, Abigail, on July 3, 1776

Ryan Millay "EX-MALE Pornstar" (AKA)Trent Roe Dedicated to "Killing Porn 1 Soul At A Time"

williae3
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Thanks Ryan

That was VERY, VERY helpful. I've been porn-free for one week, and things are looking up. I have been inspired by the former porn stars' testimonies and have made 2 corinthians 5:17 personal for myself. After all, the same God who has made their lives brand new desires to do the same for me as well.

The most recent one that almost had me weeping was the testimony of Christina (formerly Crissy Moran). You can read it on the following website: www.iamatreasure.com. Under "Our Stories", look for "Crissy".

Ernie Williamson

Candlemass (not verified)
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Me too, after a week of not

Me too, after a week of not acting out, I actually got out of bed at 3am to surf porn! I am going to install the "Wise Choice" filter. I too believe the best defense is our relationship w/Christ, but I see the PC as a "near occasion of sin." It would be foolish of me to go into a porn book store, that book store and more is right at my fingertips!

Sppoky Loafer
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Try a lock and filter?

Maybe you should try putting a porn filter on your computer. Then you can enter some huge alpha-numeric password that you'd never in a million years be able to remember. That way the vast majority of porn sites will be inaccessable from your computer, and you won't be able to turn the filter off.

I'm thinking of doing that myself.

Just thinking out loud here. If porn is not available, then maybe we wouldn't think of it.

Plus I think it's very important to understand why you look at porn in the first place. If you understand that then maybe you can fix the source of the problem.

williae3
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I appreciate the advice.

I appreciate the advice. For me, the best filter will be a growing relationship with Jesus through Bible study, prayer, witnessing, and visiting the Shelley Lubben site and the Pink Cross Foundation site on a daily basis. The knowledge about the true facts about porn has also been my greatest filter.

Ernie Williamson

Healing
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Hey brother, we've all been

Hey brother, we've all been there. You are not big enough to beat this but God is. Do all you can, depending on him for the results.

Forgetting what lies behind, I press on......

Day 1 of the rest of your life begins today.

wes
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Can Atheist beat addiction?

ummm Atheist can overcome porn... I've seen them do it. They can also beat cocaine, mary, and anything else they want to. It's important to encourage people of all faiths.

williae3
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I appreciate your words of

I appreciate your words of wisdom and encouragement. Thanks

Ernie Williamson