I am 26 years old, and I have been addicted to pornography for  10 years of my life. My life has been shackled by this addiction. It has held me back from relationships, from knowing God, and has put a burden of insecurity on me. I have felt so much immense shame that goes along with pornography.
I am a pastor’s son, and grew up in church. But that doesn’t make you immune. You see, I learned how much of this was a generational sin that effected all of us. And then I realized that it effects nearly all men. I have been addicted to porn since I was 16 years old, you know how many years I have been hiding this sin. No wonder I had so much bondage in my life.
My Dad, is a man of God and he really tried to instill that, what I was seeing was not healthy. And that I was objectifying women. And I denied it, I said, No it’s natural… it’s okay. 
Then if it was natural, then why was I feeling so dirty?
I started realizing that all I ever wanted was love. I wanted to feel love from a woman. I wanted to have that intimacy and love, and I was driven by my sex drive in an unhealthy way to achieve it. Instead of channeling my love and passions for this, I channeled it the wrong way.  I filled this desire with porn, and sex chats, and even some sexual encounters. Let me tell you, I found nothing but darkness and despair.
I would go to church ocassionally, and God would tug on my heart from time to time… but in large, I was calloused and didn’t want to expose my pain and sin. My sin, was there to remind me, anytime I tried to kick it on my own accord I was thrown down again and I started doing it.
If I couldn’t get it on the internet, I went to really seedy places—adult bookshops and purchased it. I would go 100 miles at a time, to just get a few DVDs. I can’t tell you how much I have spent on pornography through the years.
I cried out to God one day, “God save me! I am drowning! I hate this, I don’t want this anymore! I want love.”
And I heard God say, “I want to save you David.”
And then I shrugged it off and said, “Yeah right.”
God hears your pain and hurt, he is your father and he knows your sickness and hurt. He knew how much I was hurting. He knew that all I wanted was a bride, He knows that all I want is intimacy. He knows this…but he had to purify my heart.  
It was the weirdest thing, I let on the backburner… and I still continued in sin, I had over 700 pictures of nude girls on my computer, and over 100 videos. I amassed a great deal of porn electronically, I also had several videos on DVD stashed in my room. I was in complete darkness, and dreamed of these starlets all the time. I would go home and masturbate, and sometimes I would sext, or cyber or what have you with anyone I could get. It didn’t matter who it was, I was truly addicted to porn.
Two days later, I don’t even know how it happened—I was casually surfing the net and I came across Shelly Lubben’s site.My first thought, “Oh gee a bible thumper” and then I thought it was interesting, but as I watched her testimony and as I saw everything that porn was doing to these young women…my heart broke in a billion pieces. I felt an empathy for  these girls, the girls that I was stashing on my computer… every single one I used, as objects for my sin. I felt guilty at first…but then the Holy Spirit broke my heart for these girls. I can’t tell you exactly the feelings, but I was pissed and sad and touched in such a meaningful way. I immediately erased everything on my computer. And, asked for the Holy Spirit to forgive me and to break my heart for these people, these children of God. These wonderful children of God, that need Jesus. They need a touch from God.
I had never seen it like that, you see—I faced the truth—they were objects to me. But then, watching Shelly and seeing her site I saw how these are real lost people, and my heart just breaks for them. The Holy Spirit breathed life on this, and what was an addiction in my life has now became another thing, a prayer point and something I am passionate about seeing destroyed.
You see, my spirit felt ugly and gross and rotten everytime I masturbated to these videos. And there is a reason, it is gross. This is a wicked, wicked industry. And I feel so much regret I poured money into it, spent time into it, failed school because of it, and worst of all put a wall between me and the Holy Spirit because of it.
I was in pain, and I  knew I was in sin. I knew that I needed a radical change, and God used the Internet to show me the truth. Shelly’s ministry touches my heart so deeply, that I have never seen anything so real in the church.  God knows how to minister to you, and he used my heart of compassion to deliver me.
She is right, we need to reach out to these girls. We  men, need to stand and defend a woman’s honor, and not give into our selfish desires. We need to pray diligently for them…
Watching the video of Julie (Sierra Sinn) brought so  many tears to my eyes. I can honestly say, I looked at her not as a porn star but a child of God that he rescued from the pit. I hope that, I can help those men that struggle with this addiction see it for what it is. And let me tell you, there are no retreats, no magical pills that can minister this. You have to see it with your eyes… let God use those the things that Satan used for evil, and turn them for good.
Let your heart be renewed into purity, Let your heart break for the things that break God’s heart. Because believe me, the Holy Spirit showed me, how much his heart is breaking for those in this industry.
So stop. Stop looking at porn… These girls are hurting so badly. I want to be a man, and pray and if I could go in and rescue them, I would. But, I don’t have the connections like Shelly does… so I will support her. 
Praise Jesus for Shelly and her ministry,
David.