Has Your Life Been Impacted by Porn...
Welcome to Pink Cross...
As I share with people one of the best things about the forums that you are checking out right now, I always say that it provides men, who are struggling with porn, a place where they can a) set up an anonymous profile, where nobody will know who they are, and b) a place to openly begin talking about their struggle with porn...
Well, here you are... again... welcome...
There are many reasons that men become involved in porn... there are as many, if not more, reasons that men keep the struggle hidden under the rug...
I want you to know that at the Pink Cross, you are going to find an atmosphere that is free of judgment... rich in love and acceptance... and a clean slate that allows you to begin processing the struggle, and identify steps for your journey out...
Why is this important? If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired... or afraid that your spouse is going to find out... or if your spouse has already cued in to your late night pixelated hobby... then you need a place that is full of men who have gone before you to let you know that you are not the only one who feels like the only one... and who will allow you space to work through the addiction... and who will celebrate the small victories as well as hold you up in your shortcomings...
Men... welcome to Pink Cross...
Some great first steps for you would be to check out some of the testimonies of the other men on the site...
Also... take a few minutes to work through the following questions... you can answer them here in this forum thread (remember, it's all anonymous) or instant message some of the male leaders here at Pink Cross...
We are glad you are here... praying for you... an praying for your family...
Start here (remember.. .there is no right answer... only the honest ones that you can lay out):
1. Really identify what kind of damage has been done to your life because of porn.
2. Identify if there are any patterns, or seasons of temptation in your life.
3. Identify if there are any emotional triggers inside of you that make it easy for you to 'type the name of your favorite porn-star' in the google search engine.
4. Figure out if you can somehow justify porn consumption rather than just simply call your behavior sin.
5. How do you refocus on Christ in the middle of this battle?
6. Where is your support for healing and transformation? Where is your accountability?
7. How does porn effect your relationships with those closest to you?
8. Have you sought out some sort of recovery program.
Comments
1. Really identify what kind of damage has been done to your life because of porn.
I realize that I can’t really get into a relationship because of some really screwed up views of sex, intimacy, and women. I have been neurologically scarred by the different responders I have fed myself and how my brain has come to associate sex with (images not a woman, an empty high not attached to a lifetime partner, a focus on pleasure for pleasures sake not a gift that is in the context of a serving/loving relationship). I have some serious debt because of money I used to spend at strip clubs. The opportunity to minister to other men has been damaged by my addiction.
2. Identify if there are any patterns, or seasons of temptation in your life.
Before I go to bed. And in times of depression. Also if I’ve had some drinks.
3. Identify if there are any emotional triggers inside of you that make it easy for you to 'type the name of your favorite porn-star' in the google search engine.
Loneliness and depression.
4. Figure out if you can somehow justify porn consumption rather than just simply call your behavior sin.
I don’t know if I justify it. Satan does a number on my with guilt and shame so I can’t remember many times where the heaviness of the sin wasn’t dumped on me.
5. How do you refocus on Christ in the middle of this battle?
That’s been new. I try to remember I’ve been bought with a price and that I am a new creation in Christ. I pray for deliverance. I haven’t quoted scripture a ton.
6. Where is your support for healing and transformation? Where is your accountability?
I have some brothers at church. I have been seeing a therapist, and I’ve just met with some from the group called Harvest USA.
7. How does porn effect your relationships with those closest to you?
Honestly, I’m not sure. I'm single so I don't have a wife or girlfriend who this has betrayed. I have brothers in Christ who I think can see the effect it has on me (thus be a discouragement to them). I don't talk about this in any great detail with my sisters in Christ who I am close with. So I guess I don't have the pressure of the immediate, but that's not to say that I haven't seen the effect it has had on friends who were dating or are married. And some of you may think I'm crazy for this, but I have confided in my parents. This was a pretty rough thing for them to hear.
8. Have you sought out some sort of recovery program.
Yes.
...is yes. I don't have time to fully respond right now, but God has been doing some pretty big things recently. I have been holding onto my porn/masturbation addiction for a long time. Your comment on another thread that said we have to really hate porn to be free of it was pretty eye opening. And I've recently come to realize that I love it and don't want to give it up. But if Jesus is my King then porn is my enemy. And I cannot love it and my Christ. Last night was tough. I've been back and forth a lot recently. I'll probably start my own thread soon, but brothers (and any sisters reading) please be praying for me. God has been so good, and has been showing me His love and power.
Wow, ok... so I had a really rough conversation at a meeting this morning (the reason I didn't have time to fully respond). In fact, it was in dealing with some elders and issues related to my struggle with porn, recovery, and accountability. Even though God has been faithful in walking me towards recovery, I have not been the most structured and scheduled person (missing meetings, missing morning prayer, etc). Suffice it to say, it was loving, realistic, and painful. I have been very tempted to find comfort in porn. Please be praying for me because I feel like yesterday and today were the first times I was being held on my feet by God's Grace, and this feels like I'm having them knocked out from under me.
Sorry if this throwing the thread off track, I will answer the questions here soon, but I just need some prayer from brothers. Thanks guys.