Hello All. I am technically a "new" member here on this site, but admittedly, I have been reading the stories in this forum, and on the entire website since over a month ago. I feel that the time has come to at least introduce myself, and share the story that has lead me here...if for no other reason then (as the subject implies), full disclosure.

The common tale of this forum applies to my life. I started looking at porn when I was 12, and can honestly say that I didn't ever truly stop until recently (I am now 31). The hooks were in deep, and I delved into more hardcore material. I reached a point where I was distracted and distant during intimate moments with my wife, due to what was poisoning my mind and soul on a nightly basis. To put it very simply, the darkness had taken over so much of my soul...and I wasn't really sure if I could get out of it.

I remembered seeing Shelley and the Pink Cross organization on an MTV True Life about a year and a half ago, and something in my heart just kind of steered me toward this site. After listening to her words and reading the testimonies of so many people who's lives were destroyed by the porn business, I resolved to give up both masturbation and porn for the good of my marriage, my mind and my soul.

I can't fully explain all that has happened in the 36 days with the hooks finally removed from all that is me. The rediscovery of intimacy with my wife, a more focused dedication to both my work, and my music....these have been the tangible improvements at the surface of my life. The deeper reaches of my heart and soul, however, is what has reaped the most benefit. I now believe the impossible can be achieved, and that no goal is unattainable. Most importantly though, I have finally come to realize that there is a loving God, somewhere in the cosmos above, that is keeping an eye on me....but that I have to be a little more proactive in maintaining our relationship. Now that I have felt myself call for help, and was subsequently guided here, I truly feel that I have experienced the grace of God.

My mission is far from accomplished, and I am aware of the fact that 36 days is barely a 10th of a year, and an even smaller sliver of life. This small window of time, however, has provided me with a vision of what is possible once faith and grace fills the holes left by the hooks of porn. For all who are struggling with this crippling addiction, keep up the fight and the faith. 36 days ago, I learned how the evil of porn destroys the lives of men and women all over the world. I never could imagine, however, how much the grace of God could enrich and enhance my own.

One last thought for anyone who has made it all the way through this: Shortly after I discovered this site and began this journey, I heard a song on my iPod that I never paid much attention to before. The chorus of the song resounded in my head: "We all make mistakes....here's your lifeline." This site, combined with the light of God, has been my lifeline. In the interest of full disclosure...it has been a greater gift than I could have imagined.

All things possible,

Adam