Hi there

After having looked at porn since I was about 11 or 12 (I am now 21) and trying many times to stop God finally led me here.

I am so glad that God brought me here! I was deeply touched and moved but most of all shocked and disgusted at the reality and realisation of what porn really is.

It saddens me so much that so many of us are the real cause of so many women's suffering, not only the ones we have met but the ones we meet and are yet to meet as a result of porn. If the antichrist is on earth I have a good bet that it's porn.

The past few days have been tough. I don't think I have ever had so many wet dreams ever! I am being constantly tempted but I have found that if I come to this site read and watch the ex-pornstar testimonies whilst listening to Christian music I have made some progress.

I DON'T want to feel like this. Everytime since I can remember I look at a woman and I can't help but lust after her. The sad thing is I look around and 99% of the men around you look the same way. I have to keep recalling Matthew 5:28 - "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

As such I have managed without porn and masturbation for about a week. I imagine all the women, daughter's, potential daughter's of God that are suffering as a result of my thoughts (after all it is us men that created the need for prostitutes, porn etc.) and it is just impossible to lose focus on God if you do.

We live in a fallen world but there are always people such as those behind Pink Cross Foundation who are able to rise above the Earth with the help of God, to go against society, to leave all they know to trust that God is the only thing that can lift people up once again.

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGISE TO ALL WOMEN (AND I SUPPOSE MEN), TO GOD AND ALSO TO MY FUTURE WIFE FOR WHAT I HAVE DONE AND FAILED TO DO WITH REGARD TO PORNOGRAPHY AND LUST. TO PINK CROSS FOUNDATION I THANK YOU FOR BEING THE BRIGHT, PINK ROSE AMONGST VAST FIELDS OF WEEDS.

God Bless
Niall

Colossians 3:23 - "IN WHATEVER YOU DO, DO IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY UNTO THE LORD, NOT UNTO MEN OR YOURSELF."