I remember reading that passage, and others similar to that, talking about God is our Spring of Living Water, and He wants us to come to Him, not making our broken cisterns that cannot hold water (Jeremiah 2:13). I like that scripture you quoted from. Indeed, awesome how God can make a pool of water out of the wilderness/desert. Only God. I do feel like He is graciously doing that in my life, a little at a time. I'm saying, "I can't do it." He's stepping in. I'm seeking to see Him move on behalf of my friends around me, cuz they all seem to be going thru stuff and I feel helpless. But God isn't. I wanna watch Him move His grace in their lives, and do what they can't...make a fountain of water flow from the dry, barren desert in their lives, too. God is good! "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, and His love endures forever." Hallelujah!

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)

Faithfully Loved,

Thank You so much for sharing your heart. Your post was full of such rich sweetness. What a treasure God has shown you in that verse :) Isn't it interesting how we are always trying to get to the "garden" because we think that if we can just get there all things we struggle with will pass away and life will be sweeter, but our God is so tender and He loves us so much that He comes to us in our need and causes a garden to grow in our own barren wasteland. I think it's also a glimpse to show us that we can never make this happen on our own, if we try and till dry dusty barren land, we will work by the sweat of our brow trying to make something grow when the land is parched, but it takes the water of life, God's love and life, to make sense of anything in our lives. It's him showing us that we can trust Him, HE is the one that restores our soul and fills us up.

I have closed myself off from love for almost 8 years and I was perfectly content to remain single. Of course I have experienced a deep loneliness at times, but God has been using that loneliness to help me to reach out to Him, to find satisfaction in Him alone, not in another person. I just started to have feelings and emotions for another person recently and it really scared me because I don't want to go through the heartache I had before I closed myself off, but I realized something in the midst of this struggle with porn/emotions/self destruction/etc.....I am so full of need, need that can truly only ever be filled by the love of God. I am desperate for His tenderness, for His fellowship, for His love. Sometimes I don't know how to grasp onto that and I end up trying to fulfill that need in a wrong way and it only causes me to be drawn further way from my source of true comfort and rest in Him.

My favorite song ever is River God by Nichole Nordeman. No matter how many years go by I always find such a deep connection with that song. I don't know if I'm allowed to post lyrics here so if they're edited by the moderator please look up the lyrics and listen to the song, it is one of the sweetest treasures that God has given to me to help me understand that the river of His love will never run dry and that change does take time, but that it is a process that He is constantly doing in our lives and even though we don't see immediate or drastic results at times, the water of His love is constantly smoothing us into perfection. When you go to a river you can reach in and find many stones on the riverbed, some are mishapen, some are rough and jagged, some are grainy, but some are so smooth and shiny and you know it's the smooth and shiny ones that have probably been there the longest because on it's own a stone can never smooth itself out, it takes the river to smooth away the edges and refine the stone. We are those stones and like the song says, "but when I close my eyes and feel you rushing by, I know that time brings change and change takes time, and when the sunset comes, my prayer would be this one, that you might pick me up and notice, that I am, just a little smoother in your hand" It's so beautiful His love for us, I'm only beginning to understand it, but the glimpses I am able to see are truly breathtaking :)

River God (by: Nichole Nordeman)

Rolling River God
Little Stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through
So I am a stone
rough and grainy still
Trying to reconcile this river's chill

But when I close my eyes
and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be this one
that you might pick me up
and notice that I am
just a little smoother in your hand

Sometimes raging wild
sometimes swollen high
never have I known this river dry
The deepest part of you
is where I want to stay
and feel the sharpest edges wash away

But when I close my eyes
and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be just one
that you might pick me up
and notice that I am
just a little smoother in your hand

Rolling River God
Little stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through

Love,
H