Struggling with temptation.
Fri, 06/18/2010 - 12:15
Since I've been working at the nursing home, I've been very tempted to have same sex relationships because there are a few lesbians that work there. It's very hard to fight that!
I don't want to date men right now because I'm still angry at them. They make me feel sick, but I want to be close to somebody.
In the past, dating women felt a whole lot comfortable then being with a man but, I'm a christian now, I can't be that way any more. God doesn't approve of that lifestyle. I have to live by what God says. It's just so hard to do that when temptation is being thrown in your face.
How do I fight that temptation? When a woman looks at me lustfully, I want to react back. Ugh, it's so hard to fight it.
Comments
The best thing you can do, Terra, is:
1. Don't look to lust. What I mean is, do not dwell on how good of a time they *appear* to be having. Appearances can be deceiving. (Take Eve, for example!)
2. Seriously consider that in two, three, four months, or a year or two from now, those girls could be at each others' throats.
3. Get it in your head that just because there's no guy in the relationship, that is no guarantee that a same sex relationship is free from its own set of problems. (You mean to tell me that girls never have ever treated each other badly, or never tried to overpower one of their "own" so to speak? Let's be real.)
4. Consider the fact that it could heap more problems on you.
5. Pray that God fills you up with His joy, so that your cup overflows.
*An overflowing cup doesn't have any room in it for the things of the world. Right? Right!*
6. Turn your focus to the patients and the care that you could be giving them.
7. Pray that God fills you up with His Joy, so that your cup overflows. (I made that double-entry on purpose!)
8. Know that it's not that God doesn't want you to have *fun* or that He wants you to be uncomfortable, but the guilt you'll feel when in the lesbian relationship will drown out any feelings of comfort that you might experience.
9. Remember that *feelings* are not necessarily Truth. Feelings come and feelings go. But the truth is, you know you won't be able to look yourself in the mirror if you got involved in a same-sex relationship, and where's the joy and comfort in that?
10. You were made for greater things, Terra. You know it and I know it.
11. Stop wishing for things you *think* might make you feel comfortable.
12. Do practice gratefulness for those things you do have and look to those things that the Lord has in store for you!
13. There's nothing in the world like peace of mind!
14. Don't let the devil trick you, Terra, into giving it away in exchange for something you only *imagine* will make you feel good. It won't last long.
I'll stop there.
Love,
Gina
Both the above have some good things to share with you. You are right, Terra, we ALL want someone to be with, someone to hug us and make us feel good and loved and accepted. God did make us for relationships, not only with Him, but with each other. It is hard when you are single and want some type of intimacy. I know you have a new job that is very demanding physically and you are tired at the end of the day. Do you have much quiet time where you can be alone and try to read the bible and pray some? I know this is a struggle for you. We were trying to work thru the book to work toward our healing when we had to stop becuz you moved, and we haven't really been able to get back to it.
You still need healing from your past pain. Our past pain often keeps us from relationship with God because we need to work on truly KNOWING Him and COMING to Him and TRUSTING Him. And RECEIVING HIS LOVE. Gina is right, you need to know the joy of knowing God, and you know the joy when you know His love for you and His goodness and His power to heal your brokenheart and set you free. As long as you have unhealed places in your heart, you will be vulnerable to satan's fake substitutes--homosexuality is one of them. God wants you to come to Him. He keeps waiting with open arms for you and I to come. I admit I am still struggling to do that! Am I wrong in thinking that you are still struggling to come to Him, too? What will it take for us to come to Him??? I don't know myself! I keep asking Him why I keep doing this--running from Him, avoiding Him. Ughh. He is a good God. A loving God. He hates sexual abuse/assault. He is safe. He desires to comfort us and heal us and set us free. So why are we still running/avoiding Him?
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
I totally understand with not being ok with men and wanting a connection, so sometimes that ends up being with another woman. I'm not sure where everyone lives, but in more progressive cities, it doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is. I find it totally ironic that God is always shown as a male. I think at our core we just want to connect, be understood, loved and heal so we can leave the bad things behind us.
[edited by admin]
It is true that our bibles portray God as "male" but I think that is really a limited worldly view of Him. Remember in Genesis 1:26-27, "Then God said, 'Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness...God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."
Here it states that man (mankind, male and female) was created in His image, and from His image, He made both male and female. I personally don't think it is a stretch to say that God has both "male" and "female" characteristics, though He is not human/flesh, He is Spirit, but when He created man and woman, He gave each of them specific characteristics to define each one distinctly, but both together are a composite of who God Himself is, if that makes sense. God is both a passionate warrior who fights against evil and injustice, traits that are traditionally male, and He is also a compassionate, tender, kind, gentle, loving God who desires to heal the brokenhearted and tenderly comfort us and hold us, traits that are traditionally female. I'm not going to find the scriptures tonite, cuz it is late and want to stop staying up so late every nite, but I will see about finding some examples soon.
It does matter to God about our sexual orientation, but He is very tenderhearted and compassionate and gracious, desiring us to come to Him as we are and allow Him permission to work in us the healing and freedom from captivity so we can become more like Jesus. He is waiting for us to come to Him, so He can heal us. He wants us to connect with Him first, then once He is able to start the healing process, we will continue to draw closer to Him, trusting Him, and feeling safe with Him, we will let our walls of self-protection come down even more and allow Him to heal our deeper hurts.
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Amen Tonya.
Sexual temptation is very difficult. I didn't know what was going on with me until I read a book by Dr. Theresa Crenshaw entitled "Alchemy of Love and Lust." I discovered that I was most susceptible to sexual temptation when I was *ovulating." Ah! Now it all made so much sense! I was in position, so to speak, for receiving a mate! Duh. And as soon as I was over the hump, the temptation left me.
But It would take years for me to understand and experience too. God was showing the evil and the good, so that I could know what good is. You can't know what good is without an experience of evil.
This is what I did, I prayed that God would show me how to live a pure life -- If sex outside of marriage was something that was off limits, then I needed to know how to live without hoping for and lusting for a man.
A lot harder for some of us than others. Let's face it, we didn't make our bodies so that when we ovulate we'd feel like having sex; God made them that way -- so, it's up to Him to help us get through those times.
When God made Adam, He said, it is not good that a man should be alone, so he made him a HELPER meet, and put him in a deep sleep and made Eve (from the man).
Now Jesus did live without a HELP mate in the literal sense, but His Father never made Jesus go without because of it, and so I knew that living without a mate could be done; plus Paul said:
1 Corinthians 7
25Now concerning the virgins (the marriageable [c]maidens) I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion and advice as one who by the Lord's mercy is rendered trustworthy and faithful.
26I think then, because of the impending distress [that is even now setting in], it is well (expedient, profitable, and wholesome) for a person to remain as he or she is.
27Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28But if you do marry, you do not sin [in doing so], and if a virgin marries, she does not sin [in doing so]. Yet those who marry will have physical and earthly TROUBLES, and I would like to spare you that.
...
32My desire is to have you FREE from all ANXIETY and DISTRESSING CARE. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord--how he may please the Lord;
[But then I remember that the LORD said, my burden is ***LIGHT***.]
33But the married man is anxious about worldly matters--how he may please his wife--
34And he is drawn in diverging directions [his interests are divided and he is distracted from his devotion to God].
***And the unmarried woman or girl is concerned and anxious about the matters of the Lord, how to be wholly separated and set apart in body and spirit; but the married woman has her cares [centered] in earthly affairs--how she may please her husband.***
And I learned from experience that it was much, much easier to remain single. I am never lonely, even when I am by myself. Many times in a crowd I've been so lonely, but not any more.
Psalm 23 The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want (for anything, not even a husband)
God has shown me both sides of the fence, and I have to say, I prefer this side of the fence...alone, but never so lonely as when I'm with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
God showed me the way out of temptation:
It's like stepping up a level, from grammar school, to junior high, to high school; no one would ever be drawn to the previous level -- the thought of going from high school back to junior high school doesn't appeal to you at all.
Or, it's like when you've graduated from sucking on a baby bottle to being able to drink from a cup -- the thought of going back to a baby bottle no longer appeals to you.
It'd be like Shelley Lubben being tempted to go back to prostitution or making adult videos.
It's like growing up and being so far advanced and satisfied with what you have that the temptation is no longer there.
Of course, I wrestle with other issues. I'm definitely not free from all temptation or falling into temptation, but God is showing over and over again that He is there for me and he will fill me up.
I'm sorry this was so long. I hope it has helped.
Let's continue to pray for each other.
I love you.
Your friend,
Gina
Hi agrl20,
I don't think I can give you any advices but I totally know what you mean. Similar to you I am so upset with men and I can't even image being with one ever again. I think as human its only normal to want to be with someone else. Like to have an emotional connection and it's hard being single. I spend a lot of time crying over being single.
But ur not alone and it's hard but just hang in there.