Masturbation....right?....wrong?....both?
Yea so, the topic says it all haha. I'm not sure if the bible talks about masturbation or not. You hear people say that masturbation is natural. People become curious about their bodies and there is nothing wrong with it.
I personally have mixed feelings about it. I don't masturbate all the time, but when I do, I fantasize about other people (which is odd because I am so angry and disgusted with men). Then afterward, I feel bad (like I sinned), dirty, and felt like I violated my own body (Hope that makes sense). So, that makes me wonder if it really is wrong in Gods eyes because of the lust and the feelings afterward. Or is the reason for feeling bad about it and fantasizing have something to do with being sexually abused? I have a hard time not fantasizing while masturbating. If you don't lust while doing that, then does it make it OK? Why would God design our "parts" the way they are if it's wrong to masturbate? If we feel like masturbating, should we ignore it? Ask God to help us with the temptation? I don't know. I hope this makes sense.
I feel embarrassed talking about this, but I am just searching for truth and hopefully anyone reading will write their thoughts and feelings about it as well :).
Comments
Hi Agrl,
I understand your being angry. My childhood wasnt good (not even okay) either. Lots of beatings and physical abuse.
My father was a functioning alcoholic then he just turned to drinking non stop and beating the shit out of my mom and us boys (he never hit my sister tho (?)). I grew to dislike him very much and then he finally (thankfully), died from Cirrhosis in Aug 00. None of us family went to see him, he just was sooo mean and i later found out that he never wanted kids.
Anyhoo, in the Bible, masturbation is not frowned upon. It says that it is ok to enjoy your body but not to do it to the point that it rules your way of life. Many people say that it is normal. Yeeees....but not in the 'normal' way, if you know what i mean. I love to masturbate but i dont 'love' it, i just do it because masturbating helps clear your feelings of sexual frustration.
Hope this helps you understand the way things are. You are not alone.
God Bless
John
Hi Agrl,
I understand your being angry. My childhood wasnt good (not even okay) either. Lots of beatings and physical abuse.
My father was a functioning alcoholic then he just turned to drinking non stop and beating the shit out of my mom and us boys (he never hit my sister tho (?)). I grew to dislike him very much and then he finally (thankfully), died from Cirrhosis in Aug 00. None of us family went to see him, he just was sooo mean and i later found out that he never wanted kids.
Anyhoo, in the Bible, masturbation is not frowned upon. It says that it is ok to enjoy your body but not to do it to the point that it rules your way of life (ie voyeurism, masturbating in public, etc.).
Hope this helps you understand the way things are. You are not alone.
God Bless
John
Hmmm good question...I also have been reading the responses on this. I also want to add another insight. When I was struggling with pornography, I would constantly see how masturbation was used within the realm of pornographic videos and such. I feel that it is a gateway for all other destructive things. (Red flag moment)
So yeah...you have scripture that gives definite boundaries, but you also have these links....those are definitely important to discern.
When we begin to recognize the blueprints of the enemy, then we can begin to see the destructiveness...even if we've have never viewed pornography or even lusted when masturbating....there still remains these strange links and open doors for the enemy to harden our hearts to what is true.
Our bodies are definitely made to bring glory to God and I have a hard time seeing masturbation as being one of the ways we bring glory to God. It is an act that violates love for the Lord....
Self-gratification is something that happens when we have a genuine need that expresses itself in an urge that we then attempt to meet ourselves outside of God.
You have real and genuine needs. God gave those needs to you, with the firm intention that He would meet them. He has put things in place in His creation that are there for our benefit. Hunger is a need. Met with food. Thirst is a need. Met with water. Love is a need. Met by God Himself, first of all, but also by other people who show us love. Acceptance is a need. Many emotional needs express themselves through physical urges such as restlessness, like something is "missing" but we don't sit down for a minute to figure out what need we have that seeks to be met, and so we roam around restlessly here and there instead of taking a deep breath, and asking God what is really going on with us.
Masturbation ISN'T natural. Just because somebody tells you something is "normal," if God doesn't tell you the same thing, then those people are wrong, because God alone is always right.
Hormones are natural. Sexual desires are natural. Changing bodies awakening to adulthood and maturity are natural. But we have to learn to control our urges and trust God's timing when it comes to our sexual needs being met through that one person we can trust and love enough to enter into a lifetime covenant with.
God gives us a fruit called "self control" which is something He develops inside of us as we ask Him to take control of things and submit ourselves to Him. It requires discipline and doesn't happen overnight but God does expect us to work on it and to work with Him on developing it. There isn't anything wrong with delayed gratification. There isn't anything wrong with learning patience and waiting for God to lead us to the right things, the right way, at the right time.
So I hope you can see that masturbation isn't your real problem. It's a sin, certainly, and you should confess it and turn away from it, but underlying is the sin of self-gratification, and really underlying is the sin of disbelief in God and lack of trust in His ability to care for you and meet your needs the right way, with Himself, and with things He has designed for you to live a balanced life.
We also have need for fellowship and friendship. Whatever the world offers us is usually an imitation and poor excuse of the real thing. I mean really, what does masturbation offer you that is better than Jesus?
Trust God that He made you, He knows you best, and He has every intention to meet all of your needs because He loves you. I know that things happen, that people let us down, that they are not perfect and sometimes even abusive, because they themselves are starving for God and don't understand their own need for Him. I understand that people can be cruel and unkind because they don't like God's boundaries and so they act up against Him. God gave all of us the right to choose, and unfortunately, many of us make the wrong choices. Which isn't God's fault. I understand that people abuse others for a variety of reasons, and there is never an excuse for that. Forgive those people like God tells you to, and let God choose who He is going to use in your life to meet your needs, starting with Himself. Let God show you who you really are. Underneath of it all, you're probably a really neat person, designed by God in His image. Because God doesn't make mistakes when He creates us exactly how we are.
This is an awesome post, and I agree with you 100%. Indeed, when we try to meet our needs in ways which are contrary to God's perfect will in our lives, then they are never truly met. The urge will be met, only for a short while, but then the need always comes back. When we meet those needs through Jesus, He shows us other ways of meeting them, and we are not bound to repeat the same repetitive and empty behaviours.
Gal. 5:16 tells us that when we walk in the Spirit, that we will not fulfill the desires of the flesh. I really think this is key regarding what you are saying. Its when we are walking in God's spirit that He teaches us who we are, and how to deal with our God-given needs in a positive and obedient maner. We are not bound to repeat the cycle over and over again, which really only further separate is from God.
Yes!! This is so insightful. It's like we get further distracted from learning what it is that God is teachin us.
Rom. 3:4Let God be true and every man a liar.
That makes sense. I guess its just difficult for some people, because a lot of time, when the urge to sin becomes strong, it is so hard to turn away from it, especially in the heat of the moment. I really think that's why its so crucial to foster an intimate relationship with God, and really learn how to walk in the spirit. If we are led by the spirit -- if the spirit has a stronger place in our lives than the flesh -- then we overcome by the spirit. God also promises us the strength to overcome anything that comes against us -- even if its our own lust.
Anyhow, thank again for this insightful post.
Many blessings,
Beloved Branch
Moderator/Admin
Pink Cross Forums
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I'd really like the both of you to read this link I'm posting, I know it will help if you apply what it says to your lives. God bless you, I'm praying for you.
Jan
http://bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=252
"So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless."
1 Corinthians 15:58, NLT
I totally love that! I bookmarked that link. I'll defiantly will be visiting that site more often. It answers everything. As I was reading it, I felt a bit angry because it clearly is sin. I Also felt doubtful that I would be able to stop the sexual feelings and lustful thoughts before I act. It'll be very difficult, but hopefully will become easier to flee from it if I just follow the steps all the time. Same with everyone else who struggles with that.
Thanks again for posting that Jan! :)
I'm glad that it helped you hun, keep seeking Christ and you'll find more than you've been looking for or expected.
"So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless."
1 Corinthians 15:58, NLT
I really like Pure Intimacy. Haven't been on there much in a while, but there are some really good articles there. Here are a few that I really like:
"De-sexualizing the deeper need":
www.pureintimacy.org/piArticles/A000000571.cfm
Three step article talking about seeing beyond our behaviors and what is going on underneath:
www.pureintimacy.org/piArticles/A000000637.cfm (part 1)
www.pureintimacy.org/piArticles/A000000638.cfm (part 2)
www.pureintimacy.org/piArticles/A000000639.cfm (part 3)
Dying to the broken self
www.pureintimacy.org/piArticles/A000000572.cfm
The article on females masturbating was short and not as good as the one Jan posted. One thing that was not addressed in that article about masturbation, was the failure of the writer to acknowledge sexual abuse often causes people to act out sexually, including masturbation. Healing is needed for past abuse, and I would think that will help lessen the strong drive to masturbate, but not necessarily completely, cuz it is still a strong desire for any human being. But sexual abuse definitely leads to bondage in areas of sex, since you get wrong experiences and beliefs thru such behaviors that are abominations (the sexual abuse) in the eyes of God.
Thank goodness God is a loving, compassionate, gracious God who knows our woundedness and desires to see us healed and set free! Keep seeking Him and knowing the truth about what He already accomplished thru Jesus to redeem you back to Him and make you whole! May we honor Him by seeking to come to Him wholeheartedly, knowing we can trust Him, then walking out in willing obedience, or at least calling on His grace to do it!
Blessings,
Tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Thanks moderators for finding all my posts!
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
I totally understand what you are getting at. I am also an abuse survivor and I have alot of conflicts about my sexuality (orientation, how I feel, things I do). At times masturbating for me is like an escape or outlet, other times its lust driven, but I also feel a total crash or guilt after. For me I think this is part of how my body feels and that I would feel that when abused when younger. In many ways I feel broken and try to rationalize it. When i think about God and religion and how that figures into this it makes it harder for me to deal with it.
If you want to talk more, let me know.
Hugs!!
Holly