Hi, there;

It sounds like you're doing a lot better. Congratulations on staying away from porn. That's a huge step, and you should be very proud of yourself. I'm proud of you, too.

As for the masturbation, I know what you're saying about not having to fantasize. You are definitely not alone in this!! For most women, it's more about a physical release than it is sexual pleasure. For us, it's like we don't even have to fantasize....but even so, there is still some element of sexual fantasy involved.

One thing that you might want to do is look at what is going on when that desire comes upon you. Usually, the urge to masturbate is triggered by something...whether you are bored, or lonely, or something in particular happens that causes you to want to masturbate. For example, in my own experience, I have found that the urge comes upon me when I am laying down getting ready to sleep, and my mind starts to wonder. If you can sort of pinpoint the trigger, then you can either be ready for it when it comes upon you, or you can adjust your routine so as not to accomodate those urges.

For example, if you are bored, then you need to get out of the house or do something to occupy yourself, and get your mind away from that mode of thinking. If you are lonely, then go seek out a friend. Is there someone that you know that you can confide in about this who can sort of be your accountability partner?

You might want to try keeping a journal. When the desire comes upon you, just write down everything it is that you are feeling. Eventually, you will start to notice a pattern, and you can figure out from there what emotions may be involved.

If you can sort of pinpoint what it is that triggers the desire, then you can be better prepared for it when it comes upon you. These are just practical suggestions, though -- the most important thing that you need to do is pray and keep yourself in the Word of God. Pray for God to give you the strength to resist the urge, and when the urge does come, pray some more!!

Being grounded in God's word is so important. I have found that the more I am grounded in the word of God, the closer I draw to Him, the less I WANT to masturbate, and this keeps me from giving in whenever the desire comes around.

Rom. 13:14 says But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh. Whenever the desire comes along, you must resist it. That's what that verse means -- make no provision for that desire by giving into it. Just because the desire comes along doesn't mean that we have to give into it.

Things like this take Spiritual discipline....but you can do it!!! In Is. 54:17, God tells us that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. This includes Spiritual weapons. 2 Cor. 10:14 tells us that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God, for pulling down strongholds. It also says that we must take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. For a lot of people, porn and masturbation are strongholds in their lives. That's why we must take every thought captive, and allow God to break those strongholds.

There are also practical steps that we can take, too. Do not let the desire to overwhelm you when it does come on, and certainly don't dwell on it. The Bible tells us to set our minds on things above...to dwell on things that are Godly and vurtuous. That is so important. When the urge does come on, don't give in, but break the cycle by diverting your mind and attention to something else.

I'm not saying it's easy, but if you want victory over this, then you must exercise discipline. You have already overcome the desire to look at porn -- I am fully confident that you can kick this one, too.

If you like, I can post a list of Scriptures for you. Would that help?

April
Beloved Branch
Moderator/Admin
Pink Cross Forums
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies

Hi beloved... Thanks really thanks for ur post.. Im not in a church right now.. Im really done with churches!! Just rules and things to do but not a bit of love, im just done with that! I had a mentor but after i told her what i was going thru she helped me out and then never showed up again, i think she gave up on me..anyway i would love to be in a youth group but i havent found one yet.. Sometimes i feel like a small person fighting alone against a big monster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My relationship with jesús is a beautiful mess.. Sometimes i feel close to him, and sometimes i dont wanna talk with him.. Right now i feel sooooo far from him, i cant even recognize his voice like i used to..
I wanna talk with my mom about this but im such a coward.
Im getting to the point where i just dont care anymore..i used to have regreting feelings but now i sin and i feel nothing, just wanna give myself away over and over again..and that makes me feel guilty..I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED , to feel loved, thats all i want... i know jesús is the only way out from this but im mad at him, he knows how hard i've tried to be close to him but is like he never listens to me , to my tears , to my pain, depression , to my memories , to anything.. I just cant see jesús as my friend, i feel stupid talking to him, i dont deserve anything.. Im looked as the Godly christian girl , but im not that person.. I never was..
I have to cake all the time , faking is better than facing the ugly truth..