HI
This is my 1st post here.
I'm 36 now.  When I was 23 my Aunt had invited my to a Christian Conference that I didn't really want to go to.  I honored my commitment and went.  I felt the presence of God when I walked into the Auditorium. I was uncomfortable.  Some of the people sitting by me seemed like they knew a lot about the Bible.  
 I think the Conference was 2 days and at the end one of the Speakers gave the Gospel.  He seemed like someone that I would want to be like.  He talked about "how much Jesus suffered for our Sin."  It may have been the 1st time I really saw my own sin/felt it and I wanted the solution.  I think the Speaker used the 10 Commandments to show us our Sin.  The Speaker said, "If we wanted to Accept Jesus we just needed to look up since all our heads were down in prayer.  I looked up and then looked around to see if anyone was looking.  THAT WAS MY MOMENT OF SALVATION.
My Salvation felt like my head was smashed against the wall if you want the truth.  The way I thought about everything was changed.  I was excited that Salvation was so simple. I pretty much was up all night crying/apologizing.  I felt God in my room.  I felt loved for the 1st time.  My Art books looked different.  I could see the lostness of the Artists.  
Later that year I had started doubting my Salvation.  Wondering if I was really Saved.  One time I was at work cleaning the kitchen floor and I was in tears over it.  An image flashed before my eyes:  This really pretty blonde girl with this intricately designed/beautiful helmet. No glasses.  I could tell it was me but better. Then I remembered the "helmet of Salvation" from a Bible study.  That verse made sense to me finally.
You're right in that A LOT of people in "Church" aren't really Saved!  They don't seem to worry about it.  I attended a Lutheran Church growing up.  My Mom forced us to go and it was routine.  No prayer at home.  My Dad stayed home.  My Parents never talked about God or opened the Bible with us.  I quit going after 8th grade Confirmation since I didn't see the point in it.  I did always believe in God.  
If you want the truth I was wondering where He was right before I was Saved.  I was really down.  I still get down as a Born Again Christian.  A couple times I've had some really serious prayers since I was so down.
I remember being 6 yrs old and sitting in the Lutheran Church thinking, "I believed in God but not the Devil."  I didn't know the evil out there.  I remember feeling the presence of God before I was Saved:
          Singing at Church Camp when I was 20.  I was a Counselor.  We Sang "Jesus walking on the Water" on the beach at night.   I wasn't Saved.  The female Pastor wasn't saved.  Probably everyone there wasn't saved.  Its really not funny.
I didn't get a good Education about dating/Marriage from School or Home!  Basically, no Conversation about the subject.  My Parents also Separated when I was a Freshman in High School.  This is when I went to live with my Mom.
          I almost slept with a guy when I was 23 and I knew instantly that "GOD WAS MAD!" A few days later he went to a Strip Club and talked really degrading  about Women to me on the phone.  I was hurt. I view him as a user.  I was Saved a few months later.  I've always hated strip clubs, Porn, and Prostitution etc.  I hate living in a Society where I'm constantly being degraded as a female.  I want out!
It's amazing how the "Sex Industry" affects me when I'm not even participating in it.  I'm sick of it!  I don't really feel good about living in the U.S. if you want the truth.
 
I
 

Hi, Beatrix;
 
I guess the first thing I am wondering is what it was that brought your friends to the conclusion that they are not saved? What makes you believe that you are not saved?
 
You do not have to spend your life in fear that you are not saved. The Bible makes it clear how to know whether we are saved or not:
 
Rom. 10:9,10  That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 
 
Our salvation has nothing to do with how "good" we are. We can never be good enough to earn salvation, but it has everything to do with what Christ did for us on the cross. Salvation is about believing in what Christ did for us on the cross, and resting in that truth. The Bible tells us that we can be certain of our salvation. God does not want us to be fearful. He wants us to have assurance:
 
1 John 5:13   These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God.
 
This verse tells us that if we believe in the name of the Son of God, that we can be assured that we are saved. I have spoken to you before privately, and I know that you believe in Jesus. I know that you love Him, and earnestly want to please Him. My friend, that is all the assurance you need.
 
A lot of time, the enemy will come to us and put doubt in our minds. When he does, go back to these Scriptures, and ask yourself if you believe in the testimony and sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
 
Our personal struggles are not an indicator of our salvation. As Christians, we all struggle, but that does not mean that we are not saved. That just means that the Holy Spirit is working things out in us, and we have our flesh and fallen nature to contend with, so salvation doesn't automatically sanctify us. What salvation does is bring us back into communion with God, so that He may work His salvation out in us.
 
I really want to encourage you to read books about salvation (justification) and sanctification. I really feel these will help you understand the nature of salvation, and the struggles that you go through. We struggle with sin because God is sanctifying us. Sanctification is a process, but salvation is God forgiving us of our sins and bringing us back into communion with Him.
 
I really just want to encourage you to see if you can get involved in a women's Bible study, and really get grounded in God's word. The more grounded you become, the less you will question your salvation. You say that you have been struggling with porn. The fact that you know it is sin and it hurts you sounds to me like proof of salvation. If you weren't saved, you more than likely wouldn't care. I would advise you to get some accountability, though, and really tap into God's word. Its His word that makes us strong and able to fight the temptations that so easily ensnare us, like pornography.
 
In resisting pornography, you will really need the power of the Holy Spirit. God's Word is what enables us to tap into that power, so I really just want to encourage you to start digging into God's word, make a habit of reading it, and get really grounded. A Bible study will really help you to do this.
 
Either way, just know that you ARE saved and you ARE a child of God. NOTHING...not Satan, or pornography, or anything else....can take that away from you. Rest in that truth.
 
Love you
 
April
Pink Cross chaplain
Board administrator