The Porn Set RISKS
The truth about the Porn Set, On The Set
When I was in the industry, the fear of bodily fluids was absolutely disregarded. It was as though everyone was completely comfortable with the fact that someone else's fluids were on the person we are working with. These fluids were on the floor, on the furniture and even on the rags and towels that were thrown to us to use to clean ourselves up during and after a scene. The chance of walking in them was unavoidable. There is no protection or hygiene at all. There was no use of condoms at all. We shared the same bodily fluids that someone else was just exposed to with no fear of getting a disease. The lack of control to keep a healthy environment is not even a consideration in this industry. The constant spreading of germs and disease ridden materials is not even considered by the employees of the production companies. The other ways that these fluids are spread around on the set are from toys and the distribution of them to the workers. They are thrown into boxes and given a once over with a rag containing rubbing alcohol and not thoroughly sanitized and or sterilized. That is unsanitary and completely unsafe. Some people bring there own toy's to "ensure" the safety concern in there own minds. How would that be considered sanitary to other actors/actresses when in the process the toy was set on the couch were fluids are still present from a shoot that had taken place only minutes before? The lack of attention directed toward the sanitary conditions of a porn set is uncontrollable and is not even considered. The simple fact that these actors/actresses have test results from 20+ days ago is a confirmation with the illusion to the rest of the people working on the set that everyone is clean and disease free. They disregard even there own safety for themselves and even the lives and well being of there own families at home. It is supposed to be a code of conduct that the men and women that participate in these activities are "LOYAL" to the business and are trusted by everyone else that they are only having sex with the people in the business. I know from first hand experience that this is not true. On nights off, someone would find a new partner that had no idea that the woman and or man they were about to have sex with was in the porn industry. I wasn't forced to wear a condom when I was having sex with a woman that was trying to get me into the business. This sort of practice is proof that the business and the people in it are not 100% loyal to it and it's so called code of conduct.
I feel that the use of drugs in the industry is and always has been a large part of the problem. The simple fact that I was one of the largest dealers in the industry is proof enough to me. People were openly using cocaine, speed, GHB and smoking marijuana. The ones that were afraid to get caught and possibly have their name spread around as a drug addict, simply hid there drug use and no one knew it. I knew it, because I was the one being called to replenish them with more drugs. If a woman was upset and was having a bad day, they were offered a line and sent back to the set to get the job done and they did.
Most of the time these shoots and or productions were taking place in homes like I lived in. These locations were from every type of home. From the smallest 2 bedroom to the biggest mansions around Southern California. We were called to homes as far away as Lancaster. These homes are all over the San Fernando Valley. Woodland Hills, Hidden Hills, Chatsworth, Northridge, Sherman Oaks, Encino Hills, Sylmar, you name it. Not to mention the numerous apartments and condo's I went to. Using ordinary peoples homes that they lived in on a daily basis, as a porn set. We would receive a payment of $700.00 - $1,000.00 for a 12 - 16 hour day of production. Catering was delivered to the homes and even private chefs were brought in. The whole time the unsanitary conditions and spreading of bodily fluids was present. Actors/actresses would get a 10 minute break in between scenes and would run to the kitchen and grab food without washing. We had our neighbors looking at us funny and the neighborhood kids’ trying to look over fences to see what was going on. With 7 - 15 cars in front of the house, it was difficult to hide that fact that something was going on. There were amateur productions that were taking place in hotels all over the San Fernando Valley. From the smallest Motels to the Marriot on Topanga. It didn't matter. We were told the way to enter so we wouldn't be detected and could pull it off. If security caught on to it, they were handed a hundred bucks and they would let it go on with no questions asked. This conduct and practice of not having a sanitary location is still the same way as it was 15 years ago and is not changing. The only thing that has changed is the fact that younger naive kids that were only 3 or 4 years of age at the time I was in the industry, are being subject to the same disgusting and unsanitary conditions of sharing and spreading bodily fluids amongst each other with the illusion that a few simple tests supposedly confirm the doubts in their minds. This activity needs to be regulated and or made completely illegal.
I thank you for listening to me and allowing me to help you to understand the amount of the unsanitary conditions taking place on porn sets.
Sincerely, Ryan Millay
Comments
Wow, Ryan...wow, wow, wow. I'm going through therapy and trying to let go of a lot of guilt and shame due to being in some amateur films in my teens, and everything you said in your post as well as in the replies from others just takes me right back there. Back in the 80's, everyone just wanted to get wasted and get laid, so it was never difficult for small porn producers to get things going. Echoing your post, sets were located mainly in homes or sometimes in businesses after hours. Usually there was a connection, like the hotel owner's son and such, which made it very easy. It's a wonder we were never caught considering the number of people moving around, the noise or the smells. Some places were better kept than others, but no one really cared much about sanitation. I clearly remember a few girls joking about the number of stains and rattling off who they were from, almost like a trivia game. In some places it was really unsafe, with broken glass, damaged floors, ceilings and walls, dangling light fixtures and exposed wires, etc. Condoms were never provided and most of us were too young and horny to care about safety all that much anyway. Because of the drinking and drugs, bathrooms were filthy from vomit and other waste. Sometimes people got pissed and fought, so blood was present also. The people involved in production were in their late 20's or early 30's and tried to keep everyone on tight leashes, often short tempered and abusive. I argued with a guy one time who had brought his new girlfriend along and without telling her what would happen beforehand, ordered the two of us to go at it. I could tell she wasn't interested, so I refused and got screamed at. He backed off though when she started crying. Toys were usually brought by the girls themselves, so no one really questioned. We all just assumed everything was clean. I started seeing one of the girls on a regular basis and she had made plans to go to L.A. to model and get into film. Because I hadn't kept up with my grades that well, I didn't have any other options at the time. I planned to go with her, but changed my mind at the last minute. At first I got into escort work with all female clients, but dropped into deep depression and was near suicide. Then I met my future wife and never looked back. Well, almost never. It truly is a wonder that more deaths haven't been tied to the industry. And juno, if your loved one hasn't tried counseling yet, you may want to encourage that. It may be easier for him to open up to a therapist first before turning to you. That's the way it went for me. My wife of 14 years now knows everything, but it was my not being able to talk about my experiences and feelings that nearly caused our divorce. Once she had all of the truth in its entirety, including my sexual abuse as a child, it was hard to digest but she made it clear that nothing in my past would change her feelings for me. Our relationship is under strain as I continue to heal and our intimacy has suffered, but she is very supportive. My best wishes to everyone here at Pink Cross. This was a difficult thread to respond to, and may be that way for others. Ghost
Yeah he has already done therapy for it, but because of his past marriage, i think he was afraid to have to go through this all over again. She knew about it before the marriage and then when she wasn't happy and wanted out tried to use it against him. Sometimes I wonder if it's better left unsaid, but i don't know if that is what is making it harder for me.
remember your ghost: Were you open about it to your wife from the beginning? I feel completely helpless because I don't want to make him feel worse about it, and I don't know how to be the support he needs because he won't open up, and I have no one to talk to about it because of the sensitive nature. I guess thats why i feel comfortable here at Pink cross. It's the only thing that has brought me any peace. I wish he would have told me from the beginning. I never did pornography, however, I'm not perfect, and I made mistakes in my past that i regret, and i can't say that if I had been in the same situation if I wouldn't have made the same mistakes. I don't judge anyone for that.
I know that most of the producers were female, and there would be a total of 10 peopler per production, some of them were housewifes, just normal people. He would make good money, and they would fly them out to different locations. He said he did it for the money, and that he hadn't done drugs. After doing this for years he started to get anxiety from fear of people recognizing him and was afraid of losing his job. One day he just decided he didn't want to do it anymore. It's just now that I've been lied to, i don't know what to believe anymore and if he ever will be truly honest with me. I feel like I lost the love of my life and there is nothing I can do about it.
Junostar...I'm deeply sorry for your situation, and also that I didn't get to respond sooner. I can feel the desperation in your post and wish I had an easy answer for you. Yes, I was open about my past from the time my wife and I began dating. Frankly, I didn't have a choice since many of her friends knew me and my reputation. There was so much her friends and other people DIDN'T know about me, though, things I had never told anyone, and because I felt so comfortable around her I was able to share most of that. I say most, because even with the level of open communication we had, I never shared my history of being sexually abused with her. Not that I wanted to hide it specifically from her...I hid it very well from myself too, and became a splintered person until beginning therapy two years ago. Opening up for us men can be extremely difficult, sometimes requiring a severe personal crisis to finally break us down enough to share our pain. For me, it was the impending death of my father two years ago. I had become withdrawn and moody around my wife and kids with this indescribable anxiety building inside. My wife basically laid down the line and gave me a choice of getting help or getting out. As much as I love and care for my family, I really resisted taking that first step even though I had extensive counseling in my school years. My wife knew I had issues with my father, and it wasn't until I knew his death was coming soon that the cracks started to show. She said she thought I was not dealing with something from my past regarding him, and suddenly the gates swung open and I was flooded with memories of all the things he had done, stuff I had tucked away so well that it turned my life upside down. In dealing with all my emotions from a childhood filled with sexual abuse, exploitation and trafficking, it gave me the opportunity to also deal with my intense guilt and shame over having worked as an escort and briefly in porn. I am healing and have made great progress, but every day is a struggle of some kind. Along with therapy, I also participate in a love and sex addiction recovery group online. My wife was not fully aware of the extent of my sex work until I was diagnosed by my therapist as a love addict and I shared my progress with the recovery group with her. Prior to getting married, she hadn't really wanted to know all the details and only wanted me to let the past go. For many of us who have survived this type of work, the past is a crown of thorns upon our hearts that never completely goes away. I believe your partner has a lot of healing to do, and it's not something that can really be pushed. You can encourage him or nudge him gently, but the work has to be something he truly wants. I would be sure to make your feelings clear to him and keep the lines of communication open for when he does choose to finally share with you, if he's willing to do that. You may want to suggest he tries a different therapist or a recovery group that requires total honesty. EMDR therapy may help too, since there is usually a certain degree of trauma mixed in with past experiences of porn survivors. He may or may not have been sexually abused, but some type of mistreatment is nearly guaranteed. Please post further and ask any questions you feel comfortable in asking. I will try to visit this site more frequently, and will always respond to you as best I can. Most sincere best wishes and safe hugs, Ghost
to ghost: (Edited by Admin) I guess I'm trying to understand the trauma portion from his side. understand the aftermath of doing pornography....being embarrassed, afraid someone might recognize you, people don't look at you the same, or the thought of losing your job, or someone trying to take take your kids away.
But, i guess its the actual production part or the trauma I'm not understanding that I am desperate for answers. For example, if he ever caught any weird disease, how many he scenes he actually made, was the stuff they would make you do just downright degrading, what kind of productions were they. Were they just scenes or actually movies.
I found myself obsessing over this. The thoughts and feelings I'm experiencing range from anger to empathy
(how I feel like I don't know who he is, how easy it was to lie to me, what else is he lying about, to concern that he has been going through this alone, wishing there was something I could do to make it better for him)
I think about if I were to have married him and then found out, it could have been awful. If we had kids and they found out and I didn't know, or someone recognized him, It would have been devastating for me, and I wouldn't have been able to explain or defend him. Now that I know I would want to know more so I can protect him, not use it against him like his ex. His past does not make me think he would hurt his kids.
....and are sometimes the thoughts are just disturbing.
( He has been with beautiful women, and how he can be with me? Am I as good? How can I compare? What if a family member or friend recognizes him, what if he ex tries to take our future kids away too?)
I was also sexually assaulted when I was 16 by someone much older. I suffered through depression and felt like I could not get clean. My first time was taken from me and I didn't care about anything anymore. I would do things that I now regret. at that time, I can't say had someone approached me, that I would not have considered it as well. However, not knowing who he has been with or what he has done takes me back to that time, where I can't feel clean and I feel like I can't breath and function normally. I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me, and for your honesty. I am truly sorry for the things that have happened to you, and know that it only makes you a stronger better person today.
Hi again, Junostar. Thank you for being considerate and offering email contact. I did send a brief message just to confirm the address is correct and legit, so if you haven't received it please let me know. I also thought maybe private messaging here could be okay, since this is a topic I'm somewhat sensitive about. I just don't want to have either of us go into too much detail publicly. I don't worry so much about being recognized anymore, because a lot of time has passed and my appearance has changed (obviously!) since my teen years. But for a long time I was concerned about stalkers, and even though no incidents have happened within the last 10 years or more, I'd rather not take too many chances. It sounds like some of your concerns echo those of my wife, so talking about this could be very good for you. Hope to hear from you soon, and prayers for you. Ghost
.thanks
I recently found out my significant other used to be involved in exactly what you described. I don't know how to react to this. On one hand I'm so happy he changed his life around, and the other part is very depressed because of the lies and shock and how I found out. I'm terrified because I don't know what or who he was with, the type of videos he made. i feel i have to go through this alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I was wondering if someone might be able to tell me more about this amateur porn industry.
Thanks for your reply. I'm not going to take notes from your post; it's better if I leave things as they were. I understand and I don't want to get you in trouble. I'm glad you replied because it made me understand what courage and strength is needed for all of you to fight this industry.( It's greatly appreciated and I pray for all of you ).Thanks for your time; I wish you lots of health and happiness. God Bless!
" What you focus on is what you will become. "
NO NO NO! Don't get me wrong! I won't get into trouble! I just might get shot for sperakin' the truth! I am not affraid because I listen to the Lord! He wants me to express my feelings and to tell my story! I can't even count the amount of people I have helped!
I encourage you to use my story to the full extent! I want to get the word I speak out into the open and tear down the walls of PORN in every house worldwide! Feel free to copy and paste what I write and forward it to your friends. I don't care! I just want to be recognized for what I wrote and not have it twisted around! K
God Bless and I will have you know that I feel your prayers!
Ryan Millay "EX-MALE Adult Actor" No one is a Star in that industry! (AKA)Trent Roe Dedicated to "Killing Porn 1 Soul At A Time"
I seem to recollect that Stacey Donovan got out of the industry in the late 80's or early 90's and testified to congress about some issue concerning the porn industry and people wanted to kill her after what she had done. So, I see why you have such concern. In a heartless industry which makes money hand over fist I have no doubt that they would whack somebody to continue the status quo, especially since they have such a high regard for a precious human life.
Matthew 5 verse 28: I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Proverbs 26 verse 11: As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly I.E. backsliders who go back
Thanks for telling us the truth; it's helping us. Could I take small parts of this post so I could include them in my notes that are in the forum " Help for Porn Addiction "? The truth about porn is not pretty but the truth must be told so people will stop watching porn and less people will be hurt by porn. Thanks for your time. God Bless!
" What you focus on is what you will become. "
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Hey, Ryan;
Thanks for posting this. This just confirms the truth that everyone else is coming out with.
The thing about the toys -- I remember when I was filming one of those fetish videos, walking into the bathroom and having a whole bunch of them just lined up, and was told to pick which one I wanted to use. When I asked if they were used, they basically laughed and told me not to worry about it. I thought it was really gross and unsanitary that they would offer me used props like that.
I also remember the suburban houses, and the fact that it was being filmed in really nice, quiet neighborhoods, only there was always a driver -- I rarely took my own car to the shoot. I'm pretty sure that's so the neighbors wouldn't be suspicious of what was going on. I remember the producers telling us to keep a low profile....of course, with everyone smoking weed outside, and all of the activity, I don't see how we could.
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I have had a few friends who have done film, but most of my peers are struggling or former strippers, street and escort workers.
Somehow I always had the illusion that film would be more sanitary :(
Sorry it's not much better.
All I gotta say is that LIFE IS GREAT AT 7000 FEET!
Ryan,
I was reading through what you wrote on the risks on a porn set, and as an Occupational Health & Safety Management student, knowing what I know about biological hazards, I am left to wonder why it hasn't been brought to the attention of any governing bodies regulating H&S in the porn industry.
Are OH&S Inspectors paid off to avoid massive fines and the studios being shut down/charged? Does anyone in the industry have any sense of Risk Assesment? I know they do testing for HIV/AIDS, is that really the extent of health and safety?
Something tells me that if OH&S officials at the state level got involved, the industry would take a very big hit.