TD Jakes has a book called The Lady, Her Love, Her Lord it talked about in one of the Chapters about how Men feel insecure when
Ok my question is this TD Jakes Wrote a book called The Lady, Her Lover, Her Lord. It is basically a book about who a woman is and who she should be in God, What a man is to her, And how her relationship should be with God. Now in one of the chapters it talks about how men feel insecure and that when it comes to women they forget that men have insecurities because they really want things to work out but they are afraid to give their hearts to women out of fear they will crush them. I am trying to give the short end of this but everything he said is true. About how men really want to be romantic with women but they feel that if I give my heart to you will you change or hurt me.
Ok how does this relate to Porn my thing is this that well as a young kid you know how little boys are they will talk dirty you know LOL. Talk about women's body parts yes I was one of those kids but even at a young age I wanted love. So yeah you a kid you curious about how women look whatever else. So yeah I started looking at that mess in junior high school. But that was out of curiousity. I don't believe I am addicted I believe I have a connection to it. My concept of addiction is someone who can't stop something even if it means destroying themselves and everything they have my concept of a person of someone who has a connection to something is that whatever is behind it will be broken if they I guess solve that prolem. Reason being and this relates back to that book. Is that I have developed resentment, fear and hatred towards women because when you really care about them and TD Jakes said it best it is like men are scared that women will have this iron fist that will come down on that man. I started caring for this Christian Woman and I really liked her and I gave my heart to her I really wanted to marry her and treat her like a Princess of course she going to go around and play with my heart and head and break my heart. For some reason that has been my life story women know I have been hurt so they will go and hurt me. And well TD Jakes talked about that men suffer from PMS meaning Power, Money, and Sex. Meaning that men drown themselves into these things because they are scared that women will hurt them and I admit that yeah if I had a billion dollars I wouldn't give my heart out because then I could feel empowered not to want them because I hate the fact that when it comes to someone who cares for them they will hurt them. Women talk about Church Women but you got a lot of Church Women who will hurt a good man. Just because they are Christian doesn't mean they won't hurt you. So I have one lost my confidence in women, two I can't stand them because they don't care about anyone but themselves which has to be like I can't stand them, then they will play you out for someone who doesn't treat them good at all.
I have smoked trees(weed) before I had a connection meaning I smoked it to relax so when I found ways to relax I just cut it off easily. I look at Porn because I just don't have no faith that women won't kick me in the face. I even question God about why he designed them if they bring all this pain they can bring so much happiness and bring so much pain.
Comments
While it may be something that we guys use to avoid the vulnerability of relationships, it ends up only making us worse off than before because it doesn't satisfy us and doesn't bring healing or hope to our lives.
What do we crave as human beings? We want to be loved! We want someone to like us and love us for who we are. Porn can never provide that intimacy. God offers that intimacy now - despite whatever has happened in our past. And as we draw closer to God, he can go to the root of the problem - our heart - and bring about healing. And he is also more than able to bring people into our lives to bless us with fulfilling and satisfying relationships. He is God after all - maker of the universe! God is concerned about more than the physical, he is also concerned about our spirit! We all need the healing that He can bring. We need to know that someone knows our pain. He does and He cares!
Be encouraged that God knows your pain and has not forgotten you. Don't forget Him. Only He can heal our hearts. Hope you soon become 'romantically better' instead of 'romantically bitter'. :)
I do admit that I did get upset at the because I felt women feel that they are to good to do what is right by men. As if some how doing what is right by a man is demeaning not to these dogs I am talking about to a good man. I even read an article that talked about the main reason men cheat is because women don't appreciate them not because of sex that is actually the least reason why men cheat. They don't feel appreciated.
Hi, RB;
I guess I can understand what you're saying about some men cheating, but the problem is, that's too broad a generalization. Men cheat on their spouses for all sorts of reasons...not just because they feel unappreciated.
Even so, that's really no excuse. The Bible tells us that we are not to commit adultery.....period. Even if a man feels that a woman is unappreciative of him, that's still no excuse for adultery. God doesn't justify adultery in any way, shape, or form, so the excuse about feeling unappreciated is just not viable. It's still a sin, and something that God will judge, no matter what the reason.
I've never read anything by TD Jakes, but it sounds to me like he's overgeneralizing. Yes, men can become slaves to money, power, and sex, but it's not just because they are scared of women...I have no idea where he got that from. It actually goes a lot deeper than that. The Bible actually calls it the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, and God never attributes it to fear of women....even women can be seduced by these things. What God attributes it to is fallen human nature, and the world we live in.
For all that is in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life - is not of the Father but of the world 1 John 2:16
I'm sorry that your last girlfriend hurt you, but I can assure you that not all women are as you have described. There is no reason to be afraid of all women just because one of them did you wrong. Not all women want to control their men, although you are correct in that some do....just like some men want to control their women.
Cruelty and powermongering aren't limited to just one sex....there are males and females with these tendencies. Not all women want to rule with an "iron fist".....maybe in corporate America, but most of the women that I know are quite content to be submissive to their husbands; in fact, the Bible tells wives to be submissive to their husbands......as long as their husbands are loving them as Christ loves the church.
I hope that your next girlfriend is good to you, so that you can learn to trust women again, and perhaps even like them.
As far as how all of this relates to porn.....plain and simple, pornography is all about the degradation and demoralization of women, and sex in general. In most mainstream porn, the man is the one who controls the situation, so it really doesn't fit in with the scenario that you have described. The woman doesn't call the shots...It's the man.
Beloved Branch
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I simply agree with you, plus every other post you've posted. Couldn't had said it any better.
Peter even tells wives how to win their husbands if they are not doing righteously - 'without the word'!
The apostle Paul reminds: Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Peter directs: (here 'conversation' is the Old English word for 'manner of living')
1Pe 3:1 ¶ Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
We agree that the man is the head - and women should support his headship. I am quite glad that you promote this truth. Most 'Christians' in 'church' do not. The great falling away is happening and it is refreshing to see that you are not part of it.
I recall advice from a preacher to a wife who knew her husband was cheating on her. She did not want to divorce him, so asked for advice. The preacher told her to make life with her at home more attractive than anything 'out there'.
Reminds of the Scripture Pr 31:10 ¶ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
This woman set about to do just that - and in her case, it worked. Her husbands' 'outside interests' we forgotten and she won him back.
Of course, - some souls won't change no matter if you fast 40 days for them!
Glory to God for the few souls that He is saving from sin.
Eph. 5:22-25 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body.
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word
The word submit here indicates a voluntary submission of wives to their husbands...It in no way indicates that the man is superior to the woman, for Gal. 3:28 tells us that men and women are equal in Christ.
Make no mistake -- though the Scripture tells wives to submit to their husbands, it also indicates that the husband will be held accountable to God for the way he treats his wife. The command for submission isn't a one-way command...husbands are also commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and if they do not, God will judge them.
Just as Christ will present the church to His Father, a husband will also presents his wife to the Lord, and will be held accountable for how he treats her. God does not expect blind submission, and this is what the context of this verse indicates.
Col. 3:18,19 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter towards them
In both passages, it is a dual commandment -- wives are to submit to their husbnands, and husbands, to love their wives. Submission does not denigrade the one who submits. The husband, in his headship, is to seek her highest good, and not his own welfare. He is to honor her and be considerate towards her, and not to be bitter or harsh.
Yes -- according to Scripture, man has been appointed the position of headship over the woman; and likewise, God will hold the husband accountable for his wife's spiritual position. If he treated her harshly, or did not love her as Christ loved the church, God will judge him.
Eph. 5:28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
Beloved Branch
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
You did not get this idea that God will hold the lord husband 'accountable for his wife's spiritual position' from Scripture. A man can love and rule over his wife to the best of his ability and still the wife can and does rebel.
Eve is a prime example of that. The first rebel in the perfect Garden.
The greatest love is to lay down our lives for our friends - as saith the Lord Jesus.
The rebellion in women these days in the home drives - yes DRIVING is another demon - men to 'distraction'.
I know how the Holy Spirit operates and He FLOWS when both genders are in their places and there is peace between the two. The wife/woman does not dictate to her lord, but rather submits to him in meekness & quietness and the husband/man covers his wife spiritually - gives honor unto her as unto the weaker vessel.
When either gender gets out of their Place, that is when the devils take advantage. The foundation must be laid in Christ Jesus.
Wives obey your husbands - whether you like it or not. Don't push your lords into sin. You do that you know, by rebelling, refusing, being loud & stubborn.
Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. (This is not exclusive of discipline/chastening, as most would have us believe.)
Revelation 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
Yah bless each soul who wishes to do right, in their God-given Place. Helping one another to stay on the straight & narrow.
Amen.
DB -- My friend, no one pushes anyone into sin. Sin is a free moral choice, and no person will be held accountable for another person's sin.
This statement is what I am talking about right here -- the husband is responsible for his wife's spiritual well-being. While the husband will not be held accountable for his wife's sin, he will be hels accountable for his wife's spiritual welfare, and if he entertains adulterous thoughts by watching pornography, he will be held accountable for that, as well....just as a wife will be held accountable for not submitting to her husband.
This is not to say that a husband will be held responsible for his wife's salvation -- if she decides to reject Christ, that's her choice, but, if both of them are Christians, the husband is responsible for the spiritual welfare of his wife.
Make no mistake -- if a husband chooses to look at pornography, he has brought an outside element into the marriage, and God holds him responsible. By the same token, if the wife does not submit to her husband in godly fashion, then she will be held responsible. Every person is responsible for how he/she fulfills his/her role in the marriage covenant.
As far as Eve is concerned, she was deceived -- but Adam rebelled. God placed Adam in a position of authority over Eve; likewise, He held Adam responsible for her spiritual well-being. When Adam found out that Eve had transgressed, what he should have done was taken it before the Lord immediately, but because he went along with it, they both became cursed. Gen. 3:17 tells us that God cursed the ground for Adam's sake....not for Eve's. This is because his was the sin of rebellion.
I guess my point in saying all of this is that, even from the time of Adam and Eve, we see that God places Adam in a position of authority, not just so that he can lord blindly over his wife, but to ensure her spiritual well-being, to love her, and to guide her into godliness.
Just as Adam was supposed to protect Eve, the man is supposed to protect the woman; and likewise, the woman is supposed to submit to her husband's authority.
Beloved Branch
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Eve sinned in the perfect Garden ON HER OWN.
Eve got deceived and rebelled. Adam was then tempted by the rebel to also sin. Eve seduced her husband to sin with her. Adam's love for his new wife was greater than his love for God. This problem exists to this day.
Hi, DB
I respectfully suggest that you read Paul's remarks in their proper context, according to the entirety of Scripture. Read 1 Cor. 11:5. Here, Paul says that women can prophesy. If a women were given no authority by God to speak the truth, Paul would never have said this.
The whole thing about women not teaching men -- that has to do with a woman's position in the church. The Holy Spirit can use a woman to proclaim God's word just the same as He can a man, and He has, in many cases, both in the Old and New testaments. For you to say otherwise is actually going against Scripture.
Please -- seriously contemplate the Scriptures that I have presented, and ask the Lord to open your understanding.
May He heal your heart, and guide your paths.
Good day
Beloved Branch
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Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Paul talks about in 1 Timothy 2:12, where he says, “I do not permit a woman to teach” (that’s the teaching list) “or to exercise authority over a man” (that’s the governing list).
1 Timothy 2:11-14
Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.
1 Corinthians 14:34-35
Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church.
...and men and women are equally capable of being rebels and sinning on any given hour of any given day. That's the problem that exists to this day.
As Beloved Branch said:
We know that's true as it happens daily on this very message board to the edification of all (women and men) who have ears to hear.
We as men should be thankful that there are women like 'Beloved Branch', Shelley, and the other women on this forum for they are used by God to remind us of His word and the WEIGHTY responsibility we have as men. That's nothing to take lightly.
Scripture reveals that God told Adam (not Eve) not to eat from the tree of knowledge. He got the commands first hand, and YET he didn't sin because he was deceived, he sinned because he flat out chose to disobey God knowing full well it was wrong. He was in a position of significant responsibility and he not only didn't communicate God's word accurately (given Eve's inaccurate recounting of it to the serpent) but also tried to blame Eve when called on his sin!
Note that scripture remembers the fall of the human race in terms of Adam's sin. He is seen as the 'first Adam' - the one that failed, where Christ is the 'last Adam' who was sinless.
Romans 5:14
Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who had not sinned according to the likeness of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come.
1 Corinthians 15:22
For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.
1 Corinthians 15:45
And so it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being.” The last Adam became a life-giving spirit.
That's heavy stuff. Apply that to us today. Where do we men stand in our society in terms of how we've protected our wives, children, and families from pornography and the other sins that are available to us that God has clearly warned us about by His word?
Very well-spoken, and I agree completely.
I think this is the statement that really sums up the human condition. Women and men have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and both of them need a Redeemer.
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies