"Intoxicated With Babylon"
Thu, 07/16/2009 - 19:00
I've been drunk out of my mind w/her!
http://www.purelifeministries.org/Details.cfm?ProdID=32&category=5
I've been drunk out of my mind w/her!
http://www.purelifeministries.org/Details.cfm?ProdID=32&category=5
Comments
Candlemass, I read through your posts in this thread and I am touched at your determination. Thank you for your inspiration. God will bless you as you strive to know Him and learn of His ways. I think He gets terribly excited when we get to the place you are at and as the father of the prodigal son, He is running to meet you!
I read something about how our mind's eye takes snapshots when we focus on something very intently.
I have a job where I am out in nature all day long and decided to try it. The walking trails are wide and smooth, but curvy with slight inclines in places.
While standing still, I focused on a tree off in the distance directly in front of me until the image was like a film negative when I closed my eyes. While still "seeing" that tree in my mind as I walked with sure steps directly towards it for about 10-15 feet. I stopped. When I opened my eyes, I was facing the same tree dead on!!! The trail was curvy but I walked straight!!!
I had so much fun with that, I did it about a dozen times, each time focusing on something different in the distance. EVERY TIME I was walking straight towards it no matter how curvy the trail was.
This proved to me again that JESUS can be trusted. When we focus on His image because we recognize WHO He is, we can walk without physically "seeing" Him because we KNOW He is there. The path can get curvy and even have unstable footing if we get off of it but no matter. We can walk with sure confidence that we will arrive at our destination because we can "see" the Lord in our mind's eye.
I was amazed at how our physical realm supports and correlates with the spiritual realm once again. We can't physically see or audibly hear His voice over coffee but we can have "blind faith" to KNOW that He is facing us and asking us to walk towards Him, intently concerned, and waiting for us to focus on Him with the same passion He has for us as individuals.
Truth is, I could have fallen off the path because there were rocks everywhere to the left and right but with the image still clear in my mind's eye, it wasn't even a concern.
Is God cool or what?
Keeping walking forward, intently focused on The Saviour. You will reach your destination and you will find yourself so thrilled that you will want to spend the rest of your life living in such wonder and freedom!
God bless you. God bless us all.
Ok, but w/my lack of balance I think I'll pass on trying that in the physical realm!
"For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles—when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries."--1st Peter 4:3
Yes-- not something one would want to try while driving a vehicle or operating heavy equipment. :^)
That is true too. But if we have already been abused or mistreated etc, then God is loving and compassionate enough to desire to focus on binding up our broken hearts and healing those wounded places. That is one of Jesus' primary purposes He came to fulfill, quoting from Isaiah 61:1-3 in Luke 4:18-21. Once we are healed and come to know the love of God, we can more fully trust Him and then be willing to lay our lives down for Him. Not until we fully trust Him, and are rooted and grounded in the love of Christ, will we be ready to do that.
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
We really have to learn how to do life all over again. Porn has been an idol for me, my god, my life. It has been my ever present friend that I've turned to for all my needs, that's why I feel like I'm dying w/out it, because I am! I never learned how to truly rely on Christ for all my needs. Fact is I never grew up, I'm a 46 year old man who is still stuck in adolesence!
Know what? I am going to be 40 in December and frankly, feel pretty much the same way!! Ughh. I have pretty much grown up in church, truly! Baptized as a baby (Lutheran), grew up in Lutheran church until high school then started experiencing Baptist churches then many other denominations. I know the Bible quite well. I can tell you where to find a lot of scriptures (not like a preacher can, no). But the fruit of my life, still fleshly stuff. Very frustrating. So yeah, I feel stuck too! Big time. So you aren't alone!!
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Most folks at the churches I was around would marvel at how much scripture I knew, big deal, it didn't stop me from sinning! I'm learning that bible study or even memorizing scripture is not the same as meditating upon or hidding the Word of God in your heart. One thing I have noticed after I quit The Doors tribute band, I don't really miss it, not as much this time. I miss performing, it's a passion of mine, but that wasn't me on stage. That was a self obsessed narcissist who craved attention and praise like a junkie! I was such a nobody all through my youth, the kid everyone made fun of, then I was Jim freakin' Morrison, how pathetic is that?! I would settle for knowing little scripture and knowing God more.
Hey, Candlemass;
I completely hear you!! It's not about how much Scripture you know, but about how that Scripture is transforming your life. Your words remind me so much of John 3:30, where John the Baptist says of Christ:
He must increase, but I must decrease
One of the things that the Lord has really been showing me is that it all boils down to one thing....humility. It's when we die to ourselves that God can really start to work in us. If you really think about it, it's our prideful nature that drives a lot of our sin.
The way I see it, we all have a natural tendency and desire to feel accepted and loved, and even praised....but it's when that desire completely overwhelms us that it falls into the category of sin. It was that desire to feel accepted and loved that led me into the porn industry. It sounds like it was that same desire that fueled your personification of Jim Morrison -- you were addicted to the accolades, so to speak.
One of the hardest things that I've had to learn is how to take the focus off of myself and put it onto the Lord, which is just so atypical of how we naturally operate, but I have found that the more I focus on the Lord, putting His will and His desires first, the less prone I am to fall into this trap.
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I just watched that movie "Time Changer" again, there are so many things in my life I have justified as being acceptable for a christian. I can't help but wonder if the reason my struggle to break free from sexual sin has been impossible up to this point is because I still love the world. Obsessed w/entertainment, food, leasure. Of course being in The Doors tribute band fed my ego and my need of praise, being more concerned about the praise of men than the praise of God. I think I'm blind to how much the "Spirit of Babylon" has a hold of me.
Note when he talks about the man w/the boken leg that was a coward and refused to face the music, ten years later he's still limping along. That's me! In 1999 I was at the Pure Life live in program, I refuse to face the music and left, in 2009 I'm still limping along. My repentance has been a sham, it was shallow, non-life changing, in a word, worthless!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0rGVyiiNg
What if God won't grant me repentance, does He just want me to see my damnation now? Sometimes I wish I was never born!
Boy, satan is good, isn't he? He is such a liar. He's the father of lies. His purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. He convinces us of such lies to make us just give up on life. He wants us to feel so ashamed and unworthy, that we turn away from God. He wants us to have unbelief that God still loves us; he wants us to feel so condemned that we believe we deserve God's wrath...or "damnation" as you say.
That is not God. I found the verse that came to mind...although the KJV makes me wonder the exact meaning: "For godly sorrow (heaviness, grief) worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of (huh?). But the sorrow of the world worketh death." (2 Corinthians 7:10).
I am a bit confused about the translation: "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of." My bible translates that as: "For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces repentance without regret, leading to salvation...".
Let us ask the Lord for understanding of this. And how this applies to us. Just seek Him for it!
One other scripture I really like: Zechariah 3:1-5
"Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. The Lord said to satan, 'The Lord rebuke you, satan! Indeed, the Lord who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?'
Now Joshua was clothed in filthy garments and standing before the angel. He spoke and said to those who were standing before him, saying, 'Remove the filthy garments from him.' Again, he said to him, 'See, I have taken your iniquity away from you and will clothe you with festal robes.' Then I said, 'Let them put a clean turban on his head.' So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments, while the angel of the Lord was standing by."
Really, read the whole chapter; its a short one. The whole chapter deals with God's defending Joshua. We don't know what the high priest's sin was, but God rebuked satan twice. Apparently satan did have grounds for accusation cuz Joshua was wearing filthy clothes. God still defended Joshua and rebuked satan...twice! And removed the filthy clothes and clothed Joshua with clean clothes. How gracious of God!
But I do know what you are saying. I admit that I don't really seem to be repenting either. I feel like I'm continually confessing the same sins over and over. No repentance; no change. No godly sorrow. I do think I do love the things of the world too.
I'm just praying regularly for God to give me a spirit of repentance. I'm honestly acknowledging that I'm a very fleshly person, struggling with sins, and often don't want to give them up. I fail over and over. I'm acknowledging that I cannot do anything without Jesus. My flesh will always fail.
Instead of speaking such death from your mouth ("there is power of life and death in the tongue"), cry out to God and just admit your failures and mess and your love of things of the world and un-repentance, etc. Humble yourself before the Lord and pray!
"Lord, we can see that we truly cannot do anything without You. We can see that We love the things of the world and are not repenting. We're struggling with our flesh and don't want to give them up. Forgive us, Lord. We know these things don't make us feel better. We know that You are the Spring of Living Water and only with You will we never thirst again. Our mind knows the truth. But making our flesh obey that...is another story. Help us, Lord! We can't do it!
We're at the place of Romans 7:15-25...For what I do, I do not understand. I do not do what I would like to do. I am doing the very thing I hate. If I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, that it is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which lives in me.
Oh, Lord, open our eyes to see and open our ears to hear and open our heart to understand so that we can turn (repent) and be healed. We need You, Lord! We know we are grieving you with our sinful lives! Forgive us! Set us free! Have mercy on us!
"Wretched man (and woman) that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Chris our Lord!...
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 7: 24-25, Romans 8:1)
blessings,
tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEUVSbD9NF8
I'm so depressed, all I do is cry lately, I'm having a few beers just to take the edge off.
I set up a 30 minute counseling call w/Pure Life for tomorrow, I don't need therapy, I need Christ!
My church had that drama not too long ago and it made me break down and cry! I forgot about it til you posted it. Of course it made me cry again! Thanks.
If only we can just remember that indeed, Jesus does love us so much! I love that drama! He does have such love and compassion and grace and gentleness. How it does feel like daily life is full of people/things grabbing us and pulling at us and pulling us away from Him. Most often though, we pull away cuz we believe lies. Let's be like the girl in the drama, fighting to get back to Him, and know that Jesus likewise is fighting to get back to her, and both keep fighting til they do come back together!!
Yes, we need Jesus!! Come Jesus! We need You!
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Hey, there;
I'm going to be praying for you. I am so sorry that you've been feeling so depressed. I can completely relate to how you're feeling, but just know that Christ is right there with you, and that you are NOT ALONE not matter how you may feel.
Remember -- our emotions can be very deceiving. They are not ruled by logic or reason, and they fluctuate easily. It's wise not to listen so much to your feelings, and instead, just search out the truth through the Word of God. Ask God to really reveal it to you.
You have taken the first step -- realizing that Christ is your greatest and only hope -- and that is wonderful. Once we take that initial step, that's when God can start to do a real transformation in our lives. I know that He wants to do that for you.
Don't let Satan discourage you, because God is right there with you. It's His Holy Spirit that is convicting you, which means that Christ is already working in you. He loves you so much, which is why you are feeling this draw towards Him. Don't let Satan deceive you, or rob you of that!!!
Let us know how your meeting goes. It sounds to me like you have come to a point of true repentance....a desire to turn from your sin and follow Christ. I've been reading through the book of Luke. In Luke 9:23, Jesus says:
If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it
It's all a matter of taking up our cross, really. Jesus told us that we have to do it daily, because we all struggle with sin, even after we have come to Jesus. I think that some of us have heavier crosses to bear than others, depending on what we've been through and what we struggle with. It's really all about denying yourself. We all have desires of the flesh that want to draw us away from God, but the key is allowing God to strengthen our spirit, so that we have less of a desire to sin.
James 1:14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires, and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin
It's all about having less of a desire to sin, and that comes as you grow stronger in the Lord.
Jesus never promised us that it would be easy, but He did promise us that He would give us the strength to go through whatever struggles we are facing. He loves you so much -- He is not going to leave you to fight this on your own. He will give you the strength, so don't let Satan tell you otherwise.
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
From Pure Life;
"Mark,
We want to offer you a strong word of encouragement. Brother,
you would not be writing us a message if you were beyond hope. The
evidence is in the fact that you see where you truly stand and only the
Lord can open anyone's eyes to the Truth. We want to admonish you to
throw yourself into the Love of God as hard as you threw yourself into
rebellion. Get off the fence and get at the feet of Jesus. He has
overcome the world and as you remain in the palm of His hand you will
overcome too!"
I've enrolled in the "Setting Captives Free" course for overcoming habitual sexual sin, I'm determined to see it through.
Awesome, Mark!!! Just throw yourself into it, like he said. Immerse yourself deeper and deeper into the love of God and His word....and follow through with it this time. Don't back out!! Really commit yourself to this, and God will show you who you really are in Him.
Blessings
April
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
My package from Pure Life arrived today, including "Intoxicated With Babylon."
Will they be following-up with you?
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Well, for now I am enrolled in the "Setting Captives Free" on line course for sexual addiction. I do a study each day and check in w/my mentor. This is a free course, Pure Life's at home "Overcomers Program" is $1,000, the live in is $2,000 up front, then so much a month. I hoping God will set me free w/the course I'm in now, not only is the money an issue w/PL, but leaving my elderly parents behind to fend for themselves. I could use prayer for wisdom, so far I've been free of self abuse and porn for a week.
I am praying with you for strength and wisdom.
That's great that you have a mentor, because now you have someone to be accountable to. Whatever you do, follow through with this, and don't give up!!
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I am not giving up, but I must admit I have not been seeking God w/all my heart. There is still this feeling deep w/in me that says; "don't do it, if you do you will discover that God will reject you, that you are not one of the elect." I'm too depressed to eat dinner tonight, I don't want to slip back into dispair, it seems like there are so many temptations and obstacles to overcome!
It sounds to me like Satan is lying to you and trying to discourage you from seeking God. Don't listen to him!! God will not reject anyone who comes to Him with a repentant heart. I would let your mentor know what is going on -- I know that He will tell you the same thing.
The Bible teaches us that whoever believes in Jesus Christ as saviour will be saved.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life
Acts 16:31 "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you shall be saved, you and your household"
1 John 5:13 These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ that you may KNOW that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God
According to the Bible, it is impossible not to be saved if you believe in Jesus Christ as your Saviour. Election or no election, the Bible specifically says that if you believe in Jesus Christ as your Saviour, then you are saved. The apostle John goes so far as to say that you KNOW you have eternal life -- so don't allow Satan to deceive you by bringing up the doctrine of election.
The Bible says that Christ chose us in Him before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before Him (Eph. 1:4). Whom did he choose? Those who would admit their sin, believe on His name, and accept His sacrifice on the cross.
You are right -- as Christians we have a lot of temptations that we must overcome, Satan will put much in our path to try and distract and discourage us, which is why we must seek the Lord with our whole hearts, as you said. That is part of taking up our cross, because it involves surrender.
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I was just watching "The Medicine Show" w/Steve Brown, there was a skit on there that made me cry from my heart. The thought that Jesus would pick me up in His arms and love me after all my sin and rebellion, after turning my back on Him countless times, is too much for me to fathom, but it is my heart's desire!
Did you read my previous posting to you? This is what He wants to do. You do understand that this is the enemy lying to you, right?
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
All I can say at this time is I hope so, for so long I have believed that it was God who was keeping me from Himself, that He did not choose me from the foundations of the world, wich is why I thought I could not truly repent and would be stuck in my sins forever.
I agree with Beloved Branch. I believe that satan is whispering lies to you to deceive you into believing God has never chosen you, you aren't His child, aren't His elect, aren't chosen from foundation of the world. Satan wants you to believe this and just give up even trying to get free. He is a liar. I stand with Beloved Branch and with you, that God does indeed love You and He is fighting for you thru us! You would not even be here or interested in God and wanting Jesus to love you and to receive you if you weren't a chosen child of God! You desire God and His son cuz God Himself put that in you. "I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness" (Jeremiah 31:3). And "No one can come to Me (Jesus) unless the Father who sent Me draws him, and I will raise him up on the last day." (John 6:44). You are being drawn to God by His loving-kindness! So there! So don't you doubt for a moment that God Himself is drawing you. He is! Stand on that. The fight is the Lord's. You cannot win a spiritual battle against satan or even against your weak flesh that loves worldly things. Only God can through His Son Jesus.
I like the book, "The Normal Christian Life". I'm going to quote a few things:
"God makes it quite clear in His word that He has only one answer to every human need--His Son, Jesus Christ. In all His dealings with us, He works by taking US out of the way and substituting Christ in our place. The Son of God died instead of us for our forgiveness. He lives instead of us for our deliverance. So we can speak of two substitutions-- a Substitute on the Cross, who secures our forgiveness, and a Substitute within, who secures our victory."
It's all about Him. You cannot. He can. Ask God to open your eyes to see. To give you a divine revelation understanding of what Jesus came to do. For you. Let the Holy Spirit reveal a divine truth for you. You and I can't see it yet. It must be revealed. It's all about Him. Cry out to Him. Call on Him. Believe Him and wait on Him. Trust Him. He does love you. You are precious to Him. He is fighting for you. Remember that other drama, "Everything"? The girl and Jesus at first were together. Then people pulling her away. Then how Jesus and the girl fought to get back together. Keep that in your heart and mind.
Blessings,
Tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Everything you said. That we can know the bible, but its not the same as meditating or hiding the word in our hearts....also the obedience part, ughh. Some things I'm obedient about...more the impersonal stuff, like my belief about christmas and easter and sabbath, those are what I call "objective" stuff. The more personal stuff, being slow to anger, don't let the sun go down on your anger, etc, is much harder!
The other part...you said you would settle for knowing little scripture and knowing God more...dunno about little scripture part, but definitely the knowing God more. That is what I am praying for more and more. I'm trying not to be impatient, waiting on God... sigh. Maybe I'm doing too much waiting. I don't know. I'm confused about the "do your part" vs "waiting on God"...it is both, but all my "doings" have accomplished nothing. I have been cleaning and tossing and reorganizing stuff in my home, and finding stuff that I had done years ago...for years I have been trying to do a bible study notebook or collection of worship songs or notes from sermons...all gathering dust and forgotten. I start them, then stop. Start another one, and stop. Over and over. Never stick with it. Ughh!! I need God to break me or something! Dunno how to do a symbol of an ughh face. :)
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Sounds like a good book, much needed at this time! Indeed, I do think the Church, the Body of Christ, is indeed intoxicated by the things of this world. But thanks be to God, He has already provided an answer, but I don't think the Church is expecting it...I think the Church keeps looking for revival, "fresh fire of the Holy Spirit to fall", etc, etc, when God's answer is something quite different...His refining fire...His passionately loving chastening, disciplining, that is quite frankly painful (Hebrews 12:5-11).
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Hey, Candlemass;
Pure Life Ministries is a really great ministry. I would recommend anything that they put out very highly.
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I'm very familiar w/them, I was at the live in program twice, left early both times. I'm getting really depressed about this, I can see hope at times then I blow it over and over!
I've read your posts in different places at different times. I have different struggles, but can relate to your absolute frustrations and discouragements. I feel like I have gone to counseling off and on since I was a teen and struggle with much the same issues and here I am at almost 40 and there are days that I absolutely wish God would just "do something!!" "Break me!! Why aren't You doing anything??!!" I will even picture in my mind just completely losing it and going off and doing something reckless like trying to hurt myself just try to force God's hand and get His attention to finally do something! Seems like everything I try to do to change or get better or get help always fails. Always. Nothing works. No one stays around long enough to help me. I'm still waiting to try to resolve issues. For now, I've just buried myself back into busyness of homeschooling and staying up late at nites. Quite frustrating! All I can say is, for whatever reason it seems like God is "taking His dandy time!"... keep holding on, knowing somewhere inside yourself, that God does love you, He does care, He doesn't give up on us...He will come to our aid and heal us and change us. I get frustrated waiting on Him, too. I can only imagine what in the world is the holdup, smile. He is good, He does care and does love you and me. Don't throw the towel in. Just take one moment at a time, one day at a time, try to cry out to Him, pray the scriptures...
"God, Your word says that I am precious and honored, worthy of high esteem in Your eyes, and that You love me. You promise to never leave me nor forsake me. I admit that I don't feel precious. I don't feel loved. I feel You don't even care about me. I keep crying out to You and keep waiting for You to do something in my life, but haven't seen anything. But I do believe Your word is true, and satan is a liar. I believe You do care, and that I am precious in Your eyes. Help me, Lord. Give me a revelation of Your love for me. Help me to truly know You, Lord. Reveal Yourself to me..."
Keep sharing, and let us encourage you and lift you up in prayer. You aren't alone in your struggles.
Blessings,
Tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
I can only speak for myself, but I think I've been seduced into a crossless spirituality. As Bishop Fulten Sheen once said; "Everyone wants to be saved, but no one wants to go the way of the cross." I know there are many issues in my life that can hopefully be addressed in therapy, but w/out sacrifice and perserverance, nothing is going to change.