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...you shouldn't allow people that much influence to be able to destroy you. They can only hurt you as much as you let them.
Rom. 12:19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord
Ps. 89:14 Righteousness and justice are the foundations of Your throne; Mercy and truth go before Your face
Ps. 7:11 God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day
Ps. 103:6 The Lord executes righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed
Ps. 145:18 The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth
Ps. 4:4 Be angry, and do not sin
Ps. 118:5,6 I called on the Lord in distress; the Lord answered me and set me in a broad place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?
God knows and understands what you are going through. He is on your side. I know you're angry, but I just want to encourage you to give it to God, because anger has a way of eating you up. I do not know what happened to you in your past, but if you continue to hold onto your anger, it will just continue to destroy you.
God wants you to let go of your anger, and give it to Him, so that he can start to heal you. I know it's hard, but forgiveness has a way of setting you free, because once you've forgiven those who have hurt you, that hurt no longer has a place in you. Unforgiveness also separates us from God.
I hope that these Scriptures helped you. If you ever need to talk, please PM me. I am here for you.
Love ya
April
Beloved Branch
Moderator/Admin
Pink Cross Forums
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Even when you understand why you feel a certain way, it's still hard to let go sometimes. I hope you learn to do this.
It's one thing to know HOW to do it, it's another to be able to actually do it. You will be happier when you do.
Yea....I'm so angry. It's worse then I have ever been. When people would say or do things that hurt my feelings...I used to be able to shake it off and swallow the feelings and let people use me. But it's like impossible for me to do that anymore...and I feel like everyone is attacking me...when people are rude to me now...omg...I get extreemly angry. I wont let people get away with it anymore...I HAVE to say something back in revenge....I have to. Otherwise I would dwell on what that person said or did for days or months even!!. Why should rude people get away with their crap? Sometimes I feel like IM becoming one of the rude people. It's like my past is shaping me into a bitter, hateful, vengenful person and I don't want that at all. It's amazing what the tougne can do to people. I wish I could just let things go, but I can't....I just can't help it. I don't wanna feel powerless...I don't want rude people going unpunished. They deserve punisment...not the innocent.
I know how you feel. Why should evil,bad people get away with hurting others? First off they aren't getting away with anything God will deal with them. I've hurt alot of people in my life and I'm trying to make amends, but It's going to take some time. God has forgiven me and he will forgive those who have hurt you as long as they ask. If we have been forgiven we need to forgive others too. I know thats easier said than done. If someone hurt one of my family I don't what I would do. Forgiveness and loving the unlovable are hard to do but thats what Jesus has called us to do. When someone hurts me I walk away and try to think about something else. It's not always easy, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but at least I try. I hope this helps if not PLEASE forgive me:)I will be praying for you!
In Christ's Love
Doug
I think forgiveness can be a touchy issue in the sense that it is much more important to say, "I'm sorry" than it is to say, "Please forgive me." The reason I say this is because the latter is something the other person needs to have the freedom to feel (or not), the former being our responsibility. An apology must always be asked before we can desire a person's forgiveness and most often, it seems as though "forgiveness" is sought, not because we are really sorry, but because we want to shift the responsibility onto the person wronged rather than ourselves. Forgiveness isn't true unless it is done with freedom to be rejected or not and when it's voluntary- never demanded or forced. It seems there's alot of abuse of the issue of forgiveness in the Christian community. I think the same is true with God. We "ask His forgiveness" even if we aren't truly sorry for what we've done as if just saying "the right words" will remove us from our responsibility. In truth- it doesn't because the Lord sees the repentance, not the words. God always holds us responsible for our wrong actions if we are insincere.
Anger is a very real and natural emotion but the very moment it controls our actions, we've sinned and are no better than the person who caused the anger in the first place! None of us can stay angry because when we do, we seek revenge in one form or another. It's like saying, "Lord, I don't believe You care about me or have seen what's happened to me so I need to take matters into my own hands because You are incompetent." All that does is compound the problem by making it into a bigger one. Just because we know the truth about something doesn't mean we have to let it continue to happen but that's another issue all by itself.
Agrl, you know what you need to do. The fact that you acknowledge your anger is why I said that. God bless you.
I think that the 2 posters above me have given you some very wise counsel, but I just wanted to ask you something, if I may.
Why do you feel like you HAVE to get people back for being rude? I've pretty much come to the conclusion that most of the people on the face of this earth are rude, and that if I spent all of my time devising ways of getting back at them, I would have little time for anything else. Rude people are just part of the reality of living in this world.
In no way do I think you should just excuse their rude behaviour. I do believe that you have every right to call them out on it, but just call them out, then let it go. Do so in a loving and gentle manner -- a lot of people tend to forget the fact that most people who act rudely expect to get treated rudely in return, and that when someone is gentle and non-confrontational, it sort of puts them in their place. Rom. 12:20 says that if you are kind to your enemy, then you heap coals of fire on his head.
I don't think it's healthy or beneficial to allow it to eat you up.
The Lord brings people into our paths for a reason. It's His way of teaching us. Perhaps the Lord is trying to teach you patience and forgiveness? Have you sought the Lord's guidance in all of this? Pray and ask Him what He is trying to teach you through all of this....and to instill in you the patience to help you deal with it.
Also, sometimes God allows certain things to foster dependence in us. I know that lately, God has been bringing people and situations into my life that have really tested my patience. It made me realize that without Him, I couldn't handle these situations or people, and that I needed to put everything into His hands, and pray that His Spirit would work in me. I literally needed His Spirit to keep me under control, or else I would've gone off on these people.
Pray and ask God to give you a spirit of forgiveness and patience, that you may experience true inner peace.
April
Beloved Branch
Moderator/Admin
Pink Cross Forums
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Yes, I understand what yall mean. It's hard for me though. Beloved...why do I have to get back at rude people? Because they will get away with it. They will feel powerful...they would succeed in making me feel powerless and scared or whatever. If I don't get back at them some how...I'll dwell on it for a long time. I don't want them to feel good about what they have done...it's WRONG and it hurts. I used to be scared and easy. I used to allow people to walk all over me. I used to go out of my way to help people and used to show people love. I wanted them to love me and accept me...but they rejected me and abandoned me. They used me. Anyway...I am NOT going to let people get away with that anymore. It hurts too much you know what I mean? I've tried "giving it to God". Whatever that means. And he never replies. Seriously. I've prayed...I've begged... I've even yelled for him, but he just sits there with his arms crossed and back turned. At least that is what it feels like because I never get an answer. It ticks me off that he will talk to other people. That he saves "certain special people". Why make a person and ignor them? doesn't make sense. I think he gave up on me. I guess he did...I don't know...he wont answer me. So I have to assume stuff. I told him if he really wants me...he'll have to come get me. Because I've tried reaching out many times. I'm tired of reaching out to someone that wont respond. Anyway...I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the butt.
You are not a pain in the butt! You are just confused and hurting.
God does care about you. But an answer from God doesn't come with thunderbolts and lightening. It comes from reading the Word and through other people. Usually for me it is just one word that speaks to your situtation that you hear in your mind.
As for rude people "getting away with it" they will have to answer to God for their behavior. As you will have to answer for yours. People speak and act out of the abundance of their hearts, so if they are rude or mean, that is what rules their hearts. You need to simply rise above that and bless them and be kind. You become what you dwell on.
Ignore the temptation to be offended and to retaliate in kind. It doesn't change them and it only makes you like them.
It is hard to respond in love to those who hurt you. Yet that is what we have to do to live happy lives.
You are a champion, because God says that you are. You need to act as if that is true (because it is) you are not powerless, you get to choose your response. You have the power to stop the cycle of spite by your response. This is an opportunity to grow and become more than you dream.......
All of us can be irritating and rude and mean. It is harder to be kind, forgiving and loving. But the more you become kind etc the more people are attracted to you, the more happy people want to be around you and the more your life will become what you want it to be.
Love you!
Carole
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
I wonder if the reason you are reacting so strongly with anger and struggling with vengeful anger towards people who are being rude and hurtful to you is because you are wounded in your heart....brokenhearted, as Isaiah 61:1 "He has sent Me (Jesus) to bind up (heal) the brokenhearted...".
One analogy I like that illustrates this, is imagine you have a physical wound, say you were walking down stairs and missed the last step and came crashing down and busted your ankle (I did this two years ago!). Immediately, your ankle hurts like the dickens, you can't walk and some people come and help carry up up to a room and lay you on a couch and lift your leg up on a pillow and have a closer look at your ankle. Already, it is hugely swollen! It looks like a baseball size lump on your ankle. Of course you don't want anyone near it, don't want anyone to touch it. The idea of anyone touching or moving your poor mangled foot terrifies you! But unfortunately, doctors must do their exams and xrays, forcing you to do things with your foot in pain. If they seem callous and indifferent and not careful, it can cause us more physical pain, and we can get quite mad!! We may yell and even curse at them!
Similarly, when we are talking about wounded hearts, we will get mad when someone gets anywhere near our wounded places in our hearts. One big difference between physical wounds and heart wounds is the fact that heart wounds do NOT heal with time!! (Not time, in and of itself). Sometimes we don't even understand that it is there because the event(s) may have happened so long ago and we think that over time, it was in the past, and it has nothing to do with our present. Joyce Meyer talks about that in her book, "Beauty for Ashes" (2003, 2nd ed). But it is there, and I believe God allows certain incidents into our lives to bring this pain back up-- not to cold-heartedly hurt us even more, but to try to reveal the pain in our hearts, to help us open our eyes to see and remind us of past pain that is not healed yet, either cuz we were too young or ignorant of God's power to heal, or not ready to trust God for it yet. Oftentimes it takes us a while to understand that is what God is doing! We get so focused on what others are doing that we focus blame on them instead of realizing the wounding deep inside us.
We get wounded by hurtful remarks, insults, name-calling, verbal abuse... and of course, physical and sexual abuse can severely wound our hearts as much as our physical bodies. In this sinful world we live in, there are infinite numbers of ways we get wounded hearts-- "brokenhearted". Some incidents will cause more serious wounding/trauma than others....
And at least two things frustrate me tremendously with the Christians here in America with how they handle "brokenhearted" people... huge pet peeves of mine: they quote "old things have passed away, all things become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17) and "forgetting what lies behind (the past) and reaching forward to what lies ahead" (Philippians 3:13). Using both these scriptures for those suffering from pain of the past is taking them out of context, in my opinion. God does forgive our sins and redeem us when we become saved, but more often than not, when it comes to past wounds from abuse and such, that is something He graciously and kindly and respectfully waits for us to come to Him for...He will not do it without us coming to Him with hearts that TRUST Him.
Joyce Meyer talks about having to face those incidents of sexual abuse and terror in the hands of her father. She thought it was past and made no connection with her ongoing struggles with anger and trust and control and trying to be a godly Christian. She couldn't (be a godly Christian, because of her unhealed past pains)! Only when she finally came to a place of trusting God and allowing His Holy Spirit to walk her thru the pain did she start the process of healing of her past wounds. I don't know how long it took her. I imagine it took a few years at least! She had some severe wounding.
How about you? What happened in your past? I noticed you said,
"Beloved...why do I have to get back at rude people? Because they will get away with it. They will feel powerful...they would succeed in making me feel powerless and scared or whatever. If I don't get back at them some how...I'll dwell on it for a long time. I don't want them to feel good about what they have done...it's WRONG and it hurts. I used to be scared and easy. I used to allow people to walk all over me. I used to go out of my way to help people and used to show people love. I wanted them to love me and accept me...but they rejected me and abandoned me. They used me. Anyway...I am NOT going to let people get away with that anymore. It hurts too much you know what I mean? I've tried "giving it to God". Whatever that means. And he never replies. Seriously. I've prayed...I've begged... I've even yelled for him, but he just sits there with his arms crossed and back turned. At least that is what it feels like because I never get an answer. It ticks me off that he will talk to other people. That he saves "certain special people". Why make a person and ignor them? doesn't make sense. I think he gave up on me. I guess he did...I don't know...he wont answer me. So I have to assume stuff. I told him if he really wants me...he'll have to come get me. Because I've tried reaching out many times. I'm tired of reaching out to someone that wont respond."
I see a wounded heart, personally. I see a person who is tired of being hurt, tired of people not caring about you, tired of waiting on God Himself to heal you or to get an answer from Him. I, too, have been crying out to God to heal me or do something...I have even cried out for Him to hurt me!! I have tried counseling off and on for about 25 years...can't stick with it. I cried for Him to heal me or give me a godly women to pray with me and help me thru it...no one has stuck with me. I get quite frustrated too! I do understand.
First thing we need to do, is pray for God to show you scriptures to show His heart and His character to you. You believe wrong things about Him. You mentioned thinking He is up there "with his arms crossed and back turned". No, not true. You think He only talks to others but not you. No, not true. You think He only saves certain people...No, not true. Satan has been lying to you and you have agreed and believe him over God. As long as you believe those lies, God cannot come to you. He needs you to know the TRUTH about Him. KNOW that He is a good God that loves you and considers you precious! KNOW that He does care about your pain and suffering! KNOW that He sent Jesus to heal YOUR broken heart. You MUST believe these things before God can begin to work in your life and heart. He wants you to TRUST Him! We must COME TO HIM on the basis of TRUST; only then can He begin the work in us.
Will you? Get your Bible out, and find scriptures that describe who God really is.
I need to go now, but will come back little later and give some scriptures to give you an idea of what God wants you to know about Him.
Blessings,
Tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Joyce Meyers says, "The devil's goal is to separate us from God's love, because God's love is the main factor in our emotional healing...You and I are created for love. In Ephesians 2:4-6, Paul says that God is so rich in mercy that He saved us and gave us what we do not deserve, in order to satisfy the demands of His intense love for us...God intends to love us. He has to love us--He is love!..All we need to do is believe what the Bible says about our relationship with God. Once we do that, the healing process can begin." (Beauty for Ashes, p.41-2)
Scriptures to meditate and speak aloud, to renew your mind!!:
"We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." (1 John 4:16)
[Come to a place of KNOWING and BELIEVING the love of God for YOU. Ask God to give you the grace, that you cannot do it yourself]
"...that He (God) would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inmost being, so that Christ may live in your heart through faith (trust). And that you will be rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend, together with all the saints (believers) what is the width, height, length and depth (of His love), and to KNOW the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:16-19)
[God desires us to KNOW the love of Christ to the point that we are like a big tree, rooted and grounded, that no storm that satan blows our way will be able to uproot us, particularly his lies about God!]
"(Jesus read from the book of Isaiah to the audience in the synagogue:) "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted; He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, and to set free those who are oppressed (crushed), to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord...And He began to say to them, 'Today, this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing." (Luke 4:17-21)
[Jesus came to set us free and heal us, because He is full of compassion!] {I know..."so why haven't I been healed yet????" Hang in there!}
"...since the children (of God) share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise took part of the same, that through death, He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives. ..Therefore, He had to be made like His brothers in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful High Priest in things relating to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people. For since He has suffered being tempted (tested/tried, disciplined), He is able to come to the aid (help/relieve) those who are tempted." (Hebrews 2:14-18)
[Jesus took part of our sinful nature and walked in our shoes, and more, enduring the shame and torture of the Cross for us, so He can relate to our struggles with sin and any abuse and mistreatment we go thru (along with forgiving our sins and reconciling us back to God). He truly can relate and desires to come alongside us to help us through, if we will let Him.]
I will do more again in the next day or two, God willing! Please realize you are battling satan's lies in your mind...he has turned your heart against God, causing you to not trust Him and not believe He is good and that He loves you. You must recognize this and fight back! I can't win the battle for you...although I will pray for you and hope others here will too. You will need to make the decision to see the truth of what I'm saying, and decide to search out scriptures and seek to truly know God and the truth about Him, His lovingkindness and compassion towards you, His desire to see you healed and whole,and in a genuine loving, trusting relationship with Him.
That is what I am seeking to do right now. I also struggle to know God's love and trusting Him...been seeking healing and wholeness my whole life! I'm not giving up, and I encourage you not to give up either.
Blessings,
Tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Hi, agrl;
I wanted to respond to some of your comments.
You stated that in the past, that you tried giving the situation to God, but that He didn't respond. If I may just ask -- what kind of a response were you looking for? Exactly what did He do or not do that caused you to feel let down by Him? I have cried out to God many times, but I have also found that when I stop crying, and start listening, is when He speaks to me. He also speaks to us through His word. How often do you seek God through His word?
You say that you don't understand why He has saved others and not you. What makes you think that He didn't save you? The Bible says that whoever calls upon the name of the Lord is saved. That is a promise, and it has nothing to do with how you may feel. If you have called upon the Lord for salvation, then He has saved you, and how you may or may not feel does not change this fact. There have been plenty of times where I didn't feel "saved," but I trusted in God's faithfulness and knew that He is not a liar. We like to "feel" saved because it provides a sort of comfort, something that we can rest in. We can rest in our emotions. But God didn't tell us to rest in our emotions..He told us to rest in His promises. This takes faith, and that's why we can't really use our feelings as a barometer for our salvation, because our feelings fluctuate.
I understand that you have been hurt, and I know that you are angry. I know also that you don't want those who have hurt you to "get away with it." I don't think that any of us would [b]want[/b] someone to get away with hurting us, but the reality is, sometimes they do....or at least we think they do, but God has promised us that in the end, no one will get away with anything. That is why God tells us to put it in His hands, because otherwise, we will only cause ourselves grief when we stress over whether or not true justice was served.
God does not take these kinds of offenses lightly. We may think that He doesn't care, or has forgotten, because we don't see Him taking care of things like we think He should, or in our timing, but please understand, this isn't because God treats your hurt as insignificant. You were created in the image of God, and those who have offended or hurt you, God takes this very personally.
Wrongs done to you are wrongs done against God, and the Bible promises that He will set things straight. Either way, God has not turned His back on you. He loves you. Why wouldn't He love you? His promises apply just as much to you as everyone else. God asks you to do 2 things -- to trust Him, and to forgive. In a way, forgiving is trusting Him, because you are putting the wrongs that you have suffered into His hands. More than benefitting the person forgiven, forgiveness also benefits you because you are no longer under that yoke of bondage....You are no longer so consumed with getting back at people, and you can move forward.
Beloved Branch
Moderator/Admin
Pink Cross Forums
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Right on BB... wrongs done are always ultimately against God. He is slow to anger but always right on time. That's the way it's always been for me anyway.
Agrl, you said in a previous post, "I used to go out of my way to help people and used to show people love. I wanted them to love me and accept me..."
When we "give love" to "get love" for ourselves in return, it's not really love when you stop and think about it. The reason we're disappointed when people don't respond the way WE want them to is because we EXPECTED something in return for ourselves. This is why we feel "used".
Jesus gave for the sake of giving, knowing beforehand that He would be rejected but that didn't stop Him. That is true love.
Well, God bless you. You'll work it out. We all have to at some point.
hmmm......hmmmmm......well then I guess Im the bad person then. So...I don't know what love is...I don't know how to give it because it was never given to me as a child....not my fault
Eh...scratch out what I just said...it sounded mean.
you do it for a baby, or a friend in trouble. Same thing.
You are an amazing woman and you are simply working your way through your pain and issues.
If your parents didn't love you, I am sorry. But your heart wants to be loved, and God wants to do that for you.
It changes things when you change the way you respond to things.
Repaying rudness with rudness reinforces your angry feelings, and that shapes your attitude. Depression, bitterness and anger are hallmarks of Satan. He comes to kill, steal and destroy us.
Love, peace and happiness are hallmarks of Jesus. He came to give us life and give it to us abundantly.
If you change your response to things your life will change.
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
I respectfully disagree that loving a baby or a friend in trouble is the same love as agape love, when Jesus talked about loving others who are not kind to you. Even unbelievers can love babies, without needing God's agape love. It takes God's agape love to love people who are mean or spiteful or abusive or are persecuting you cuz of your faith in Jesus. There is a huge difference. We christians need to know the difference between God's agape love and human love.
We seem to presume that someone who knows scriptures and attends church and says they are saved, that they "know" God's love. Then why is the Church in such a mess? Why is the divorce rate in the church the same, (and some churches even worse!) than the unbelievers? Mrs. Nancy Missler explains the reason in her book, The Way of Agape, which I agree...
Chapter 7-- Knowing God loves us
"(she asks:) Do you have firsthand 'experiential knowledge' that God loves you? I don't mean 'intellectual knowledge' or 'head knowledge'. I mean the moment by moment intimacy that only a loving Father and child can have. As Christians, we all need to live, no matter what our circumstances, in the security of His love. If we have His love, then we can do anything; without His love, we are nothing...
When I (Nancy) first began teaching The Way of Agape, I focused on the two greatest commandments. 'Thou shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind...and thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself.' (matt. 22:37-39)
After several years of hearing reactions of the women, however, I realized there is no way we can learn to love God (or others) until we first KNOW and EXPERIENCE that God loves us [We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19]. Without first being able to EXPERIENCE His love and acceptance for ourselves [beyond having a head knowledge of what the bible says], we're not going to be able to move forward in our Christian walk.
In other words, we can't lay down our lives to someone and love Him, if we don't really think [truly believe in our hearts] that He loves us...If we don't KNOW God loves us PERSONALLY, we'll be unable to grow simply because WE DON'T TRUST HIM.
"If we KNOW that God loves us personally, then 1) we'll have the confidence and the trust to continually lay down our wills and our lives to Him and love Him in return, and 2) we'll have that daily experience of KNOWING His love, not only for ourselves, but also for others.
But if we DOUBT GOD'S LOVE for us personally, then: 1) we WON'T have the confidence or trust to lay down our wills and love Him in return, and 2) we will limit our ability to EXPERIENCE His love, both for ourselves, and for others.
This doesn't mean that God is not in our hearts, loving us. He is! It just means we won't have that daily living experience (personal, touching, loving intimacy) of encountering and seeing God's handprint and His love at every turn. I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY SO MANY OF US ARE NOT EXPERIENCING GOD'S ABUNDANT LIFE AFTER BEING CHRISTIANS FOREVER. IT ALL GOES BACK TO THE FACT THAT WE DON'T REALLY KNOW GOD LOVES US....IN OUR HASTE TO BE LIKE JESUS, WE HAVE FORGOTTEN THE FIRST BASIC STEP, WHICH IS TO REALLY KNOW THE EXTENT AND THE DEPTH OF GOD'S LOVE FOR US PERSONALLY."
I agree with her one hundred percent. Therein lies the problem with too many of us in the church. The church has been too busy teaching the gospel in terms of salvation and deliverance, there has been too little on teaching us how to have a relationship with God. I grew up in church, and don't remember understanding that God desires intimacy and relationship...to encourage us to seek to truly KNOW Him. Now, here I am at 40 years old, seeking to KNOW God and KNOW His love for me, to receive it. I do think we are seeing it a little more teaching on intimacy and relationship with God now, and it will continue to increase...thanks be to God!
But let us realize that most of us quite likely do not KNOW God's love for us and have not come to a place of true intimacy and trust in Him. It's hurtful to encourage someone to "love" others who are being spiteful when we ourselves have not even come to a place of KNOWING God's love ourselves...we cannot possibly agape love others until we receive a revelation of God's love for us FIRST. [We love because He first loved us. 1 Jo. 4:19]
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Tonya;
That was wonderful,and so right-on!! Thank you
Beloved Branch
Moderator/Admin
Pink Cross Forums
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I've heard people tell me, "You can't love others if you don't love youself." "You don't love God if you don't love yourself." That makes me extreemly confused. Ok, yes...I hate myself BIG time. I admit it. I think I'm the worst thing that was ever created. But at the same time....I do care about people. Maybe not so much to the rude, abuseive people. But I do care about other people. Love is a difficult word to say. I want to believe I do love people. So anyways....so....because I hate myself, Does that mean I HATE everyone? I don't "feel" hatred twards EVERYONE. So I don't understand how that statement "You can't love others if you don't love youself." Is true. So, I should tell people I hate them because I hate myself? I don't understand that. That would be rude to say to someone :(. Oh my god...I don't know...jeez...I'm so confuzzled. I probably don't make any sense! agrl20= retarted.
"Love and value self, love and value all. No love or value for self, no love or value for any." There's another saying that is also very true, "We only love God as much as we love someone the least." If we don't value our own self- mind, body, spirit- we CAN'T value anyone's. Look at porn as one example- it wouldn't exist if porn actors and actresses valued themselves the way God does. It's actually a sin not to love and value ourselves as God does! If we think we're worthless, we live like we're worthless. If we think we are loved by God, we live like we're loved by God and we automatically know that ALL people are loved by God just like we are. See how that works? I think you already know this is true--- otherwise you wouldn't feel bad about it enough to post it in the first place. There's great hope for you Agrl. Do you realize you're on your way to figuring it all out?? "The greatest fool is the one who doesn't acknowledge he's got even a slight problem."
Hi, agrl;
God bless you heart, my friend. I am so glad that you are here seeking a resolution, because honestly, I completely understand your confusion.
By your last post, I think I understand a little more clearly exactly what it is you are going through. In fact, I was much like you, for most of my life, actually.
I had a very distorted self-image. I hated myself, and could see very little good in myself; on the other hand, I always saw the good in others, and cared for them. I would be kind to other people, and like you, a large part of it had to do with wanting their approval. In fact, that was how I validated my own self-worth -- by what I would do for other people, and their opinions of me. If they approved of me, then I approved of myself. I knew it wasn't the correct way of thinking, but that's just how I functioned.
I'm not sure if that's exactly how things are with you, but I can relate somewhat....reaching out and loving others because I wanted that love and approval for myself.
When I came to Christ, I literally had to allow Him to transform that part of me, because if I hadn't, I would've spend the rest of my life allowing people to walk all over me, and use me.
The main thing that Christ revealed to me, regarding my own self-hatred, is that the crux of the problem was self-centeredness. Here's what I mean. Everyone on planet earth, to varying degrees, are self-centered. This has more to do with a pre-occupation with yourself and how you think you are rather than your view of yourself. Self-centeredness can take different forms. On the one extreme, you have those who have huge egos and think more highly of themselves than they should. This is pride, and egocentrism. On the other end of the spectrum, you have those who think of themselves worse than others, with very low self-esteem. I think that this might be the category that you fit into. It's not pride, but it's also not humility. It's just a distorted self-image. Pride and low self-esteem are symptoms of the same problem -- self-centeredness. When you become so consumed with how you see yourself that it dictates all of your decision-making, whether it be pride or low self-esteem, that's self-centeredness.
Think about it....for those with really low self-esteem, they are constantly comparing themselves with others, living their lives and reacting in situations based on the fact that they are nothing. Sooner or later, it can get to the point where it consumes you, and you can't look past yourself. It's a form of self-centeredness, and it is destruvtive.
One of the major things that God showed me was, the ONLY way I could break free from this pattern, was to look beyond myself and look to Christ. I needed to quit focusing on how pathetic and ugly I was, and look to Him, but it wasn;t as easy as that. I literally needed to "step outside" of myself. The Bible says that we are new creatures in Christ, and it also says that our life is in Him. You see, agrl, it's all about who we are in Christ, and not who we are in and of ourselves.
Once I started to look past myself, and look to Jesus, and not wallow in all of the negativity that I had wrought on myself, I started to see things more clearly. I realized that it isn't about how you see yourself, but how God sees you. I started to make a concerted effort NOT to focus so much on myself, but on God. After that, everything came naturally. I wouldn't get so agitated with people, but if they did something hurtful, I was able to just let it ride off of my back....not because of willpower, but because my focus was off of me, and on Jesus. I started to see peoples' actions for what they really were.
This is the whole meaning behind humility. Humility isn't some way that you look at yourself, it's more not looking at yourself at all. Once you get that focus off of yourself, you are no longer tormented by your own negative thoughts toward yourself. You start to realize that its not all about you, but about Jesus.
The thing is, self-centeredness is just a part of human nature, and everyone deals with it to some extent. A lot of your own self-image has a lot to do with how you were raised, and since we all know that parents make mistakes (some worse than others), we need to see past our own self-image. That is what the Bible means when it talk about taking every thought captive.
Humility is a spiritual discipline, because we are so used to reacting and judging situations and relationships according to our own self-image, but I can tell you, that was the only way that I was able to break free from that destruction. I have always had low self-esteem, and in and of myself, I still do to some extent, but now it's more a matter of looking beyond my own self-image and looking to Christ. Now at least I know what the root of the problem is, and go from there.
I hope that this helped some. I could offer you some pratical tips, but I want to make sure that I have sort of addressed the real problem before I go any further.
God bless you, my friend
April
Beloved Branch
Moderator/Admin
Pink Cross Forums
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
I hope you are ok. You are making me worry. Hope everything is ok with you. Please get in touch with us and let us know what is going on. Miss ya!!
tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Hey girl,
You know, it's useless for you to think about how you should be and how you should have faith and should have trust and etc. I'm not saying that it isn't true, but the thing is that you just have to continue to have a relationship with God and everything will flow out of that. By relationship I don't just mean worship, trust, love... Just go to Him with everything you have. Be angry, tell Him about what you don't feel and don't understand.. I am convinced God is out there and He knows EVERYTHING you've been through and hears every thought and doubt in your mind. Be open and honest about it, so God can work in that. He knows your pain and He's been through much worse, so don't think He doesn't know what's good for you. He's there for you.
Anyway, good luck
Then I realised, most of those people have lives that stink just as bad as mine did. That might sound cynical, and it is. But when you think about it, it does have a ring of truth to it.
What can I say? I AM a Cynic. But a Christian Cynic. What does that mean?
It means I laugh things off, not because I'm supressing anything; but because when I see behind the thin veneer, the truth is absolutely hilarious.
It means when bad things happen, my reaction tends to be "Welcome to the human condition."
I dont get angry over personal attacks and insults, but I do tend to get irritated at stupidity.
Fortunately I've avoided the trap of abject cynicism, which does not work in a Christian worldview. But the ability to examine myself in a Cynical light has had a pleasant cooling effect on my previously hot head.
You said you don't know what love is. I beg to differ. The very fact that your working through these issues, to become the kind of person that God can work through says that you do know what love is. It takes patience, and time.
Hang in there. We're pulling(and praying) for you.
-----------------------------------------------
They say "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". Why do they say that? Is there a sudden shortage of bad intentions?
Hello. I have not been on in a while. Been having issues with my computer. Had to reload it 3 times!! because I play WOW and everytime I would try to play it, my computer would shut down....kept shutting down then I would get a login error. So...I can't play that game any more :( it really sucks because I am addicted to it..... BAH!. Anyways, I'm ok I guess....sure why not. Still angry, im still a piece of poop, but it's ok...one day "thangs" will be different I suposse ya fink? Hope everyone is doing well.
I'm glad you are ok, but can understand struggling with anger and junk. I have the same problem. No, you are not a piece of poop, ok! Our sinful nature/flesh is extremely difficult to overcome, and truly that is why Jesus came to die on the cross, to set us free from our sinful nature that is prone to angry outbursts and such...how to walk that out...that is my problem. It's one thing to hear the scriptures and preaching on it, but its another thing to understand how to do it. Still seeking! Hang in there.
Blessings,
Tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Yeah Jesus gave up His life for us so we will not be pieces of poop.
You won't find that in the Bible literally, but hey ;P
hehehe ;) ok ok....not a piece of poop....I get it lol. So, does that mean in the old testiment they were pieces of poop? lol jk jk. Enough of poop. Hey Precious...is it ok if I send you a message?
message me anytime. Will look for it and we can talk. Is jk just kidding? cute! heehee. i get enough of the poop talk from my four kids between 3 and 9!!! :)
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
We missed you. I know that people from this board were praying for you while you were gone. I'm praying that God will reveal to you personally what the rest of us already know -- that you are NOT a piece of poop, and that you are greatly loved...by God and by us.
Hang in there, sweetie!!!
Beloved Branch
Moderator/Admin
Pink Cross Forums
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Hehe yep! your absolutly right Precious...jk=just kidding ;P. Thank you beloved :D. I think yall have convenced me that I am not a piece of "poop" :p So, I wont say it any more...try not to at least haha. Yall are awesome...MWA!Are yall doing alright? How are you all??
Agrl20, You come back on here, now you've disappeared again! Stop that! :)
Guys, why don't we pray that God will step in and intervene with whatever problems are getting in the way of agrl20 receiving encouragement from us, cuz this is the second time this has happened, and I don't think its a coincidence! The first time, her computer messed up for over a month. I think satan is trying to keep agrl20 from being free.
Lord God, we need Your grace and intervention to help agrl20 receive words of encouragement from her beloved brothers and sisters in the Lord. Help us, Oh Lord! Thank You that nothing is too hard for You and You love her so much that You paid the price thru Jesus for her to be free and healed and whole. In Jesus name, Amen
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
I'm still here...I sent you a message, but didn't get a reply. Not sure if you got it or not.
dunno why. I'll pm you and see if we can find out what is going on.
Tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Huh...that is strange :-/
Huh...that is strange :-/
Hey girl how are you doing? I've been praying for you and would like to give you a call again. Let me know when would be good for you.
take care
peace,hugs,prayers
boldness and blessings
Carrie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team
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JESUS IS THE GLUE THAT HOLDS ME TOGETHER
Either way, I have not received anything. I'll pm you and give my email just to see if there is something wrong, but if you sent it before and it got thru, I don't see why it's not working. I haven't had problems with others like that, which is why I found myself thinking something is wrong, and wanted to pray God would remove any hindrances.
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Dangit. Yea, I didn't get anything. It doesn't suprise me that something simple like a pm would go wrong. It's my bad luck. I'm not kidding...EVERYTHING around me is too complicated or, nothing ever goes right, always having issues with "stuff", bad luck finds me and loves me lol. If I was the bad luck....I'd follow me too lol. A lot of times I just say OOOOH fine then! you win bad luck..and then I give up hehehehee. So, but anyways....I miss talking to you Surrenderingangel. Been a LONG time since we talked. Too long. We need to catch up.
Then that just makes me believe all the more that spiritual warfare is taking place! Gotta give this one to God to move on our behalf to fight this one! Don't give up, that is exactly what satan wants us to do. Will keep trying and in the meantime, pray.
I encourage you to talk with surrendering angel. Talking by phone is much easier and it sounds like it would do you good. Work that out and don't let anything get in the way! :)
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Oops, accidently posted twice
Wanted to see if you got my pm.
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Nope, sure didn't. No one has been getting any of my tells it looks like. Don't know why. Very weird.
Very weird and very annoying! Keep trying
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)
Yes, it is very annoying indeed! Wow...there is a lot of replys on this topic. You think people are annoyed by it? hehehehe.
Yes, it is very annoying indeed! Wow...there is a lot of replys on this topic. You think people are annoyed by it? hehehehe.
Oh my gosh Tonya...your not going to believe this. I got all your messages! I was stupid lol I was getting them from my email...not "here" I was thinking I was messageing you HERE, but was messageing you from email lolz. So, BAH all that worrying and getting annoyed was all for nothing. Grr...but I'm so glad lol.
I can understand the confusion, cuz I thought when we clicked on each other's pix to see about contacting each other personally, I figured the message would be on here, too. We have much to learn! Glad you finally got them! You probably got two of at least one of my emails, but that is fine. It is funny, and so glad you figured it out! Now let's see if we can keep communicating without so much frustration! lol
Blessings,
Tonya
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!...I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;...You are precious and honored in my eyes, and I love you...do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Is.43:4-5)