Pastor Confesses to 16-year Porn Addiction
Originally posted on August 28, 2008 by Covenant Eyes web site here.
He was a leader in one of Australia’s largest churches. Thousands around the world prayed for him during his two-year battle with cancer. His hit song, “Healer,” inspired by his illness, has been played in churches around the world.
The only problem is, Michael Guglielmucci never had cancer.
About a week ago, Guglielmucci, one of the pastors at Planetshakers City Church in Melbourne, Australia, publicly announced that his battle with terminal leukemia was a lie.
And why did Guglielmucci lie about this? In order to hide his 16-year obsession with pornography.
Guglielmucci’s Confession
When Michael told his parents two years ago about his cancer diagnosis, their lives were “totally turned around.” Comforted by the love and support shown by their local church and all of their friends around the world, they held up under the emotional pain of the possibility of losing a son.
Then on Tuesday, August 12, they received a call to come and meet with Michael and his wife Amanda. They weren’t ready for what they were about to hear. Michael began to share the story of a 16-year addiction to pornography from which he simply couldn’t break free. Michael told his family that he loves God and had been throwing himself “into prayer, worship and serving God with full energy and enthusiasm,” but he couldn’t break free from his addiction.
How did this web of lies begin? In September 2006, Michael had an accident and went to a hospital. Tormented by living a double life, Mike told his parents that he thought he could “escape the pain by creating a diversion from his addiction to adult pornography,” so he created the cancer diagnosis. Michael states that the emotional pain of his addiction and his lies were so awful that he suffered from constant vomiting and many other symptoms of a genuine cancer patient. Once the web of lies began, Michael felt he could not stop, he felt he had gone too deep into his lie, so he continued to play up his illness, claiming glandular fever, a brain tumor, a burst ear drum, multiple myelomas, kidney failure, 33 broken bones, stomach cancer, and sending phony emails to his family and friends from non-existent doctors. He never actually saw a doctor. He would just go to hospitals and clinics and hang around in waiting rooms.
A few weeks before Michael’s confession to his parents, he had a dream of Jesus on the cross looking down on him saying, “The truth will set you free,” so he decided to bring his sins and lies into the open.
Below is Michael Guglielmucci’s confession:
“It is with much pain and sadness that I make this statement today.
For over 16 years I have struggled with an addiction to adult pornography. As a result of this secret life of sin my body would often breakdown.
I’d report the cause of my symptoms simply as illnesses, and I’ve thrown my life into a ministry for many years trying to compensate for my sin.
I believe that I do love Jesus and I know that he loves me, and it is this love along with the prayers of people around the world that bring me to this place of confession.
Two years ago, I reported that I was suffering from cancer. The truth is that although I was ill I did not have cancer, but was again using the misdiagnosis to hide the lie that I was living.
I know in my heart that it is the truth alone that will set me free and this is the reason for my confession.
I’ve dishonoured God, my wife, my family and the church, and I take full responsibility for my actions and would like to make it very clear that no one else was in any way aware of my double life.
I’m fully committed to a process of discipline, recovery and restitution and will see this process through to whatever extent is necessary.
I am deeply sorry and pray that you will find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Currently, I am undergoing professional medical assessment and evaluation to help identify and begin to treat the real and much deeper issues.
Please continue to pray for my wife and I and my family as we have a long, hard road ahead of us, but a road that I’m thankful to God that I’m finally walking.”
What’s Being Done About This?
On August 16, Guglielmucci confessed his two-year fraudulent cancer battle at a national executive meeting of the Australian Christian Churches (ACC) and was stripped of his credentials.
He has also written to the Police Commissioner offering to fully cooperate with any police inquiries into his fake illness.
Planetshakers has removed references to Guglielmucci from their website that credit his role on several albums. Hillsong has filed copyright “take-down” claims on every YouTube video that contains Mike Guglielmucci and his song “Healer.”
The ACC is now auditing his bank accounts, which include money donated from people touched by his hit song “Healer.” According to AdelaideNow.com, many people felt compassion for Michael’s alleged illness, especially after seeing the Hillsong video showing Michael leading worship with oxygen tubes in his nose (click here to watch the video). Several donations were made to Guglielmucci and his family. One donor said, “There’s no better script than to be dying of cancer and giving glory to God in a Christian context . . . it’s the highest form of fraud.”
Some are also blaming the culture of Michael’s church as a contributing factor. They are calling for the leadership to put thought into “the way accountability works inside Planetshakers City Church.”
Many supporters have rallied around Guglielmucci, including former Family First MLC and Paradise Church pastor Andrew Evans. Michael’s parents are also standing with their son in this trying time. In the midst of the confusion, many church members and old friends are expressing words of forgiveness.
Among Michael’s supporters is his wife, Amanda. She was the first one to whom Michael confessed everything. She says that she is choosing to stick it out with her husband and support him through this process.
“We’re just not going to rush anything, we’re gonna walk through the process, however slowly it needs to happen in order for the healing and restoration to be complete, and then we’ll go from there. . . . I’m actually seeking professional counseling myself. I need to be able to unravel a lot of emotion that’s bombarding me at the moment, I owe it to myself to work through that properly, and to him.”
A Wake-Up Call
While moral failures of high profile Christians have been happening for centuries, hypocrisy never seems to be a dull topic for the media. I don’t want to simply add more fuel to the fire. I do feel a sense of relief knowing that he has started the process of confession and repentance. Michael, if these words ever cross your eyes, know we are praying for you and your family. Jesus’ blood covers the worst of transgressions.
As I reflect on Guglielmucci’s story I feel extreme sadness, sympathy, and great alarm.
My heart goes out to the thousands who have been inspired by Guglielmucci’s supposed illness, especially those who are truly suffering from cancer.
His story should be a wake-up call to all those in Christian leadership. The Lord’s brother, James, wrote that “we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” (James 3:1). As Christians, we are all called to integrity; as leaders we are called to demonstrate that integrity and be above reproach. Christians need the fellowship of mutual accountability and confession; how much more do Christian leaders need it?
His story should also be a wake-up call to all Christians who are guilty of a secret life of any sort. Guglielmucci may not have had cancer, but his secret sin and guilt were like a cancer that ate away at him. I remember personally my own addiction to pornography and how the guilt and shame would literally gnaw at my gut. Guglielmucci’s real illness, unconfessed sin, was just as King David described it: “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. . . . For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer” (Psalm 32:1,3-4).
His story is also a wake-up call to all individuals who feel trapped in a pornography addiction. In his first interview with “Today Tonight,” Guglielmucci said, “This is who I am . . . I’m addicted to the stuff, it consumes my mind” (see interview below). Honestly, in reading Michael’s confession, I am not sure what to believe about him. Given his deception, can we even trust his confession? Only time may tell.
Taking his story at face value, however, Michael is similar to many men in the church. Many men were exposed to pornography at a young age, at a time when they were more susceptible to pornography’s subtle influences. Many throw themselves into prayer, worship, and active ministry and can’t seem to break free from it. In these ways Michael is not an enigma. Many in the church lie defeated under the weight of this habitual sin.
Ironically, Michael says he actually wrote the song “Healer” because he wanted God to set him free from his addiction, but he hid this fact behind his cancer story. As the details of Michael’s confession are corroborated, perhaps “Healer” will become an anthem for people praying to break free from pornography. Perhaps at this very moment this prayer is being answered for Michael.
Regardless of the final verdict in this extreme case, God’s promise remains true: as we bring our sins into the light through accountability and confession, Jesus can and will heal us of our deepest and most sinful addictions. “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16, NIV).
- Shelley Lubben's blog
- Login or register to post comments
I am not better than Michael, Mrs. Lubben, or even the "bum" on the street! I have learned that being humble just as our Lord is the way, or the start of healing. I remember seeing Mike's confession on youtbe and the first thing that came to mind...."The Hillsong Church, and Australia need to hear Mrs. Lubben's testimony, and maybe Mr. Clay Crosse's testimony". So my prayers to him and his family!
We have to confess our sins to one another...I love that verse in James. Healing must come to our hearts!
God Bless
I dont know why he made up the illness. Maybe he is just not to smart. When stuff like this happens in the church, everyone waves their arms like injured wolves. They are more concerned for how it makes them look than their brother in the Lord. If no one had character flaws we wouldn't need Jesus. Why not just help the guy get set free from the demons in his head. What porn does to your head is not unlike cancer, just worse. Let them without sin condemn him publicly. That should thin the crowd a bit. If we stood with him and not condemn him. Than the world that has this very problem. Would know they could safely come and get help. No one wants to be exposed. Love is about him and his family, not me.
I hope you understand this point of view and thanks for the opportunity to vent.
"in Christ"
Howard
Praise the LORD for His Mercy and Grace!
We do not deserve it, but He gave it to us because of His Love for His children. He made the way, He paid the price, He made the pefect sacrifice for sin once and for all. Thankfully, we receive "new mercies" each and everyday:)
I will continue to keep our brother and his wife in prayer, asking that the Father's Will be done.
For the body of Christ Jesus:
DO NOT BE AFRAID of confronting a brother or sister who is living in sin. Paul the Apostle wrote "...sin no longer has dominion over us..." That is part of the FREEDOM that we have being a "New Creation" in Christ Jesus. We should love others, the way that Christ Loved us. We must be willing to be ridiculed, met with anger, hate and resistance to the truth of how sin separates us from God and its final result - death. Our fruit should be good, not bad. Brothers and Sisters, "Stand firm in the faith, and do not put upon yourselves a yoke of slavery."
True Love "Hopes and Bears all things"
True Love "does not boast upon itself"
True Love "does not keep track of wrongs"
True Love "never fails"
In God's Love and Service,
Alex
I hope Michael is effectively dealing with his problem. I'm glad I can finally see the whole picture of what goes on in the porn business and not just what they want me to see. There's a price to pay for everything, and by everyone. It always pains me to hear of preachers or pastors who fall so publicly. Normally I'd expect that such matters would be handled discreetly but I assume there are reasons for that. I'm thankful that I've found peace with God in this area of my life.
Sure it is sad, but who can judge him? I used to live a double life, struggling with my own addiction of porn.
As a recovering addict I am proud of you for allowing the light of truth to penetrate the darkness that surrounded you. What you did was amazingly hard. I confessed my addiction to a friend familiar with addiction and it was truly at that moment that freedom began. It was then that my eyes were finally opened and I was able to seek help. I am convinced that the Lord will meet you here as well. Be strong my brother, the battle is long and hard, but victory is sure. Something from scripture that has encouraged me is the fact that after Paul was healed of blindness 14 years passed before he began the journeys we chrish in the scriptures. It took 14 years of retraining before Paul was ready. Knowing this tempers my impatience when the fight gets hard and gives me the strength to just keep moving when that is all that I can do.
I have no scriptural basis for this comment, but if I know my God like I think I do I think he would prefer we fight daily and stumble often than wallow in filth. I think He is pleased to know that we understand Him now, that we now know that we are powerless without Him, and that when we come to our senses and begin to desire him over anything else His great loves spills over as the father of the prodigal son's did.
Be strong Michael, we are all praying for you!
The Lord has been leading me away from viewing pornography via the internet over the last several weeks. He has done so in a manner that confirms the truth which Shelley is revealing regarding its true nature. I had no idea the Pink Cross organization even existed, 'til the Lord lead me here!
I am seeing my habit as an addiction that the Lord is healing.
I am realizing that it has had an extremely negative effect upon my relationships and helped to end my marriage. It was/has been an escape from the pain of no longer having the role of fathering in a family setting where all had lived together. There was also the pain of no longer being a husband. And those loses contributing to my need to take a leave of absence, 'til now, from active ministry as a pastor.
I have kept it a secret from the people in the churches I have served and the one I am now serving (after a 10 year absence from my calling.) It had played a part in a string of meaningless and empty, mostly anonymous sex during that time. I knew even while I was engaging in it that it was meaningless and empty but provided a sense of being "loved?" when it was not anonymous, for awhile. But in reality it was just empty sex for sex's sake.
The pornography fueled that behavior. Now that such acting out has ended for almost 2 years now, the viewing has continued : an empty way of trying to fulfill an empty void, which, of course, only the Lord can fulfill.
I am going to be specific about last night. There is a video posted online entitled "Edited by Admin". It was the most troubling thing that I have ever witnessed -- a "perfect" for lack of a better word -- description of how the industry does only see its precious women as chattel and how violent and uncaring and painful it must be for them. Yet they are portrayed anyway as willing participants.
Did they actually KNOW what the "scene" would include ahead of time? Increasingly FORCED -- by holding hair and neck -- deep throat oral, gagging over and over. This was followed by the same anally with the women's neck being throttled and kept down on a sofa and there being screaming, some of which I believed was not just "acting" but real pleas to stop as Shelley has described on this site. Pleas that are ignored for the sake of the scene?
The duration was listed as over 20 minutes. I was convicted. I stopped viewing. I cried.
A particular pornographer has become increasingly violent over the years - portraying and engaging in what can now only be described as rape scenes. Sadly, this what it seems the majority of porn viewers now expect?
Nina Hartley, who when interviewed spews the same lines as Jena on Oprah, has become someone who engages in something she admits is "just a job." And it shows. She seems proud of the ways that actually show such sex in such -- what can only be called -- mechanical ways -- empty ways that are actually acceptable to and primarily expected by her "fans." She is very proud of her "job." Sex is meant to be recreational only is her belief. There is even a DENIAL of how it could possibly been seen any other way, including harmful to anyone. I have never seen God's gift more cavalierly "used."
Years ago I was enamored with both of these "pornstars." Now I can't believe what they have become. Also, the case of Chasey Lain is so sad. A video on youtube literally shows her addicted condition. But even more troubling is how she is treated (as a person) and discarded by the director. Literally, no one cares, especially the industry that used her and contributed to her demise. Is anyone reaching out to her. Is she present at the conventions, or has she become invisible? Does anyone even know where she is?
But most importantly I can't believe what I have/had become. I turned a blind eye to it all for my own selfish so-called pleasure but in reality prevents real relationships and simply increases isolation. What I was viewing was not harmless acting. It is very harmful to both the porn star and the porn fan. The deaths and the manners in which porn stars have died that are portrayed in Shelley's video speak for themselves and are indeed so sad. What the viewer can become is equally troubling. And few it seem even care. It is just a business. Indeed.
I know I can be freed from this addiction and that the Lord is working mightily to do so. I want to connect with others who have been addicted and are now know they can be/are being freed. (If you have any connections in the Delaware area, please pass them on to me.)
The main reason, however is not to ask for such help for me, but to let you know "I once was blind but now I see." It is God's grace that has brought me/us safe thus far, and will be God's grace in Jesus that will bring us/me home. Shelley's ministry has been God's tool in doing so (including videos like the one above.) I am very grateful to you all and for how the Lord is using you.
RevRMc
PS Oprah's glorification (she denies that of course) is not atypical. I suppose it is news how prevalent the use of porn by women has become. But to portray that in such a neutral way, without any mention of how this may actually hurt rather than help, does not surprise me. When Oprah was just starting out in Baltimore as a co-host of "People Are Talking," my then wife and I were in the audience. We were Seminary students in DC. I was able to speak from the audience regarding my (positive) feelings regarding the use and need for more inclusive language in the church and in translations of the Bible.
Afterward she told me "you were good, honey!" But during the filming of the show, though there were two guest "experts," more time was given to the one representing the other side of the issue (which the majority of the audience supported) than the view of the one who supported "my" side.
In other words, it seemed that the show would represent both sides. The presence of the two experts/guests would give one that impression. But such was not the case. Oprah blew with the wind. If my side had been the most popular it would have been the other way around.
That is what she is doing with the porn issue, IMHO.
I would be extremely surprised if she will listen to us, but I hope and pray (if not her) someone else will. (Perhaps in the way Anderson Cooper, for example, dealt with/exposed Sylvia Brown's "religion" and its exploitation of the vulnerable.) if she will listen to us/you, but I hope and pray (if not her) someone else will. (Perhaps in the way Anderson Cooper, for example, dealt with/exposed Sylvia Brown's "religion" and its exploitation of the vulnerable.)
Let us take heart that there is another Wind blowing, the Holy Spirit at work in you/us:
"You know well enough how the Wind blows this way and that. You hear it rustling through the trees, but you have no idea where it comes from or where it's headed next. That's the way it is with everyone 'born from above' by the Wind of God, the Spirit of God." John 3:7, THE MESSAGE BIBLE
Blessings,
RevRMc