Former Porn Star Jessie Jewels Story
Before I ever did this stuff I was an average girl. I was definitely a little different in some ways but for the most part I was pretty average. Well, I’ve made some pretty poor choices in my life. I take full responsibility for each one. I’ve seen a side of the world that nobody would want to see. It’s evil, dark and very manipulative.
People in the porn industry are numb to real life and are like zombies walking around doing what they have become so accustomed to. It’s really sad. It’s really painful to see. You have no idea how badly their feelings have been hurt. The abuse that goes on in this industry is completely ridiculous. The way these young ladies are treated is totally sick and brainwashing. I left due to the trauma I experienced even through that short time. The industry forgets that these little girls are human and no human on earth deserves to be abused such as they are.
I just really wanted to justify myself to those who have no idea what goes on in the porn industry or inside the minds of these young jaded girls. Most of us didn’t dream of becoming porn stars, we some how fell into it. Some of us believed once you’re in, there is no way out. WRONG. I got out. I will never go back! What does not kill me will make me stronger. God will never let me down, even during the worst of times.
I am so thankful to have been brought back to God through all this. My one and only God! He feels the void inside my heart and the empty space deep inside my soul with unfailing love and never ending mercy. He is the one and only solution to our lives. I am grateful for each and every single day because I have Jesus Christ by my side. He has given me so much hope and I am more than 110% positive that through Jesus Christ all things are possible!
When it comes to life, its how you handle the circumstances you’ve been put under and what you choose to do about it that makes you who are today. I have decided to not let the past break me but instead to make me even better than I would have been before.
I would like to thank the Pink Cross for the amazing support they have shown and given me. Without the Pink Cross, I would not be able to share my story or come clean like this. I love the Pink Cross and everything they are doing to stop the porn industry, as it really does kill the souls of the people who enter. Thank you so much Shelley. God has really used your past to give us hope and through him, to help save us.
I would like to thank God for putting Shelley and the Pink Cross together to help save the lives and put an end to the abuse of the wicked porn industry. Thank you Pink Cross. I am truly thankful.
I also wanted to acknowledge the hard times I put other people around me through. I am sorry. You didn’t deserve to be hurt like that. I wish you all the best. You know who I am talking to.
Amber AKA Jessie Jewels
- Shelley Lubben's blog
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great to hear that you made it out and got your life back on the road to recovery. keep going strong
Underoath
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
They say a picture is worth a thousaund words and this is very apparent when you look at the pictures of Amber before and after.
You look so happy in the second picture, i am happy for you that you have left the industry behind you and wish you every happiness in your new life.
Way to go Amber, you rock! Keep on smiling you deserve it!
I am so glad that the Lord led you out of that industry and back into His loving arms. If you read this, I just want you to know that this is only the beginning...He has wonderful plans for your life.
You are precious and loved. Thank you for sharing your story.
April
Beloved Branch
Moderator
Pink Cross Forums
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Ps. 108:13 Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who shall tread down our enemies
Hi, I am once again deeply saddened by her story. I keep hoping and praying that these young girls will all wake up tomorrow and just quit..but that never happens as much as i would like it to be that way. I once sent a MySpace message to a well known porn star that she didnt have to keep doing porn, and that she could just quit....her reply was polite but she said that she wasnt finished and had more to accomplish, but she said thank you for caring. I still say hi to her. I guess she still needs more prayer support until she has completed her 'mission' in porn. John
I think you are amazing and I know that Satan will regret the day He tried to destroy you!!!!
I will be praying for you and right now I am celebrating you, my new sister in Christ!
Is God good or what!!!!
Carolemarie
Moderator
Pink Cross Team Member
Amber, thank you for being honest with yourself and listening to the deeper longings in your soul. I've looked at porn, not for sexual stimulation because it is NOT stimulating or "sexy" AT ALL to prove the emptiness of the faces of the women and I've wondered "WHY do you hate yourself so much to do this?" (Truth be known- it makes many of us nauseous and we can't imagine how the women must feel to be so degraded...) My heart breaks for all of them and I pray that they will do as you have done... You were created for no other purpose than to be LOVED by God and to love yourself so you can experience the life He has given you in spiritual abundance. We all must confess our sins and acknowledge WHY Jesus did what He did on the cross to know what that means. God bless you.
Amber, thanks for sharing your testimony with everyone here. It makes me sad whenever I hear of girls who got into something like this then stayed in it because they felt trapped. Getting out of porn like you have shows the kind of initiative that will help keep you out of it too. I'm sure it won't be a walk in the park but that's why I think of you and the other girls here like heroes. I'm glad you got Jesus in your life and for the changes He's making in it. God bless,
Malcolm
You all have no idea how important and special these comments are to me! Ive had such a hard time with it and for so long thought I was totally alone. JESUS CHRIST IS MY AMAZING SAVIOUR! I am so thankful. I am totally restored. My outlook on life has been broadened for the better. I have so much HOPE & LOVE in my Heart. THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT. I keep it stored inside my soul.
XOXOXOXO
Sincerely,
Amber
Thank you so much. You have no idea your comment means to me. Thank you for your words of encouragement and love. I truely appreciate it. Thank you and God Bless you.
Love, Amber
But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. 21 So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.(Romans 5 : 20-21
God's grace covers your past, the present and the future. Satan and those that do not understand God's Grace, will lie to you. They will they you that you are not redeemable. But keep walking with God, He is walking with you!!
In Him,
Hi Amber,
I am so happy that you were able to leave the life of a porn actress. I see your before/after pics, and i dont know what to say, other than dont these young, impressionable ladies 'not' see what "we" see?...or do they even care?...or even 'want' to know that it hurts those of us who are trying to reach out to them when seeing you (the girls), stumbling and staggering around all pie eyed and oblivious and at times, belligerent?...and that when we 'are' called bad names by these girls, that it yes, it makes us stop and pause? I mean, seeing your dead, cold eyes before and youre 'I'm going to make it!' look in the after photo gives us hope that not every girl is lost.
Thank you!
Hi Amber,
I am so happy that you were able to leave the life of a porn actress. I see your before/after pics, and i dont know what to say, other than dont these young, impressionable ladies 'not' see what "we" see?...or do they even care?...or even 'want' to know that it hurts those of us who are trying to reach out to them when seeing you (the girls), stumbling and staggering around all pie eyed and oblivious and at times, belligerent?...and that when we 'are' called bad names by these girls, that it yes, it makes us stop and pause? I mean, seeing your dead, cold eyes before and youre 'I'm going to make it!' look in the after photo gives us hope that not every girl is lost.
Thank you!