by Anonymous Porn Star

The statement below is one of ten Statements I submitted to the State of California and comes from a porn actress who is still currently involved with the porn industry. I have removed her real name to protect her publicly.

Note to porn stars: If you are tired of the abuse and want to submit your statement to make your voice heard please contact me at info@thepinkcross.org. I will make sure your name is protected if you wish to remain anonymous.

(Beware of adult conversation)

STD's are a very frightening thing in this industry. For a moment it seems healthier to have sex with a 'tested' porn star, then a random 'civilian'.

Unfortunately, we are never really truly tested as 'clean'. The industry only makes you test for 3 things. 2 of them bacterial! The other HIV.

On top of not being tested for things like: HPV, HEP, HERPES, and AIDS.... Most porn performers also work as prostitutes on the side with NONTESTED customers. (also called privates)

And of course, nobody is going to tell the new innocent girl that her health is at stake, because they (the agents, are making 10-20% of her income!!! and the major companies even more money! Some girls are making $2,000 a day, so their agent is making $200 average a day.

The agents and companies only use you, but I will get into that later.
 
Many of my friends in this industry including myself caught HPV. Many of their conditions turned worse to cervical cancer and had their cervix and more removed. Once removed we lose our ability to have children one day!

It also does emotional damage. Many girls feel less of a woman not having their cervix. Many of the girls have no idea that they have HPV, but believe me, they ALL do. We all work together with the same people. We all give it to each other. Multiple strains! I have worked several different occasions with several different people knowing that they worked everyday just like me.

Speaking of working everyday and speaking of our agents not telling us about the things we can do to protect ourselves, is they take advantage of us by booking us everyday. It is very harmful to our bodies to work everyday! Think about this:

Say once inside my vagina you have 3-4 inches before reaching my cervix, and then is my uterus. I was performing with men that had 12 inch long penises. Now imagine this forceful male organ smashing up my precious life giving organs!! Fitting all the way inside my body!! Where does 12 inches go??!! So an agent is happily booking a girl everyday and in my case sometimes even twice to 3 times a day!! Imagine the damage we are doing to ourselves physically and mentally!! The money blindsides and confuses the men and women actors.

It could seem like you have nobody to trust.

Imagine that you are me. I fly to Los Angeles from Florida (when first beginning) not knowing anybody out here to work for this agent that promised to help me build my career and help me with anything I needed. They exaggerate the lifestyle. Flaunt Fame, parties, freedom, and drugs in your face.

Technically they work for me, right? Well, they don't care, and use and abuse you. Your fellow 'actors' don't care. Now imagine that your family and friends find out. Do a porno scene and see how quickly your friends will turn on you and judge you. Saying you are a slut. I considered myself more a ''pro whore''. Legal and legit. Obviously accepted since my whole life porn has been all around. You see men leering at woman in society and the woman playing it off like it's an everyday thing. Imagine getting a phone call from your uncle saying you "ruined his favorite website". Oh boy the creepiness. It leaves you with this sick dark feeling inside.

Plus on several occasions, the agent will keep your money and not give it to you. They can tell the company to give the check to them not us and even put it in their name!

Once an agent told me that if I didn't sleep with this director, then he wouldn't book any of the other girls any more! And since the agent at the moment was making me the "main girl" (which means it's my job to make sure the girls don't fight and do what he says) putting pressure and manipulation are very common. Being an agent must feel pretty powerful.

Being in control, being a legal pimp. Prostituting women and making money off of them! This should not be legal.

Drugs. Sex and drugs seem to come together quite a bit in this job field.

I have been on set numerous types for different companies, where they will ask what alcohol I want, and go to the store and get it for me.

Encouraging the girls to drink so that in the scenes they will open up more and do things that they normally would consider a boundary. I have also been offered pain pills on set. Working everyday can make a girl very sore!! Inflamed!! So instead of seeing that I am in pain and shouldn't do the scene, they would give me pain pills (Vicodin). Without the pills I was in so much pain and would just lay in an Epsom salt bath all day after work.

Finding this outlet led to mine and MANY other girls, pill popping addiction. Of course I didn't know I had a problem until later on. Pain pills led to morphine, and cocaine. Drugs freely given to all the girls to loosen them up. Nobody considering the law or the consequences.

A lot of times, you show up on set and they have changed what they booked you for. You can think you are going to do a girl on girl scene, and when you arrive they say that you are doing a B/B/G/G (boy,boy,girl,girl). This is something totally different!! So you call your agent and they say, should we ask for more money!! No consideration of, oh, sorry about that, or they can't do that, or HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS?

In one instant I was doing a boy/girl scene. Meaning just me and a boy. Before a scene you can say "don't do these certain things" such as don't hit me in the face, don't put your finger in my butt, don't bite me. I will tap you instead of saying a safety word.

We start the scene and immediately he starts throwing me around like a rag doll. And this guy is known to do this with every girl. (Of course I didn't know this until later, as I had never worked with him and my agent gave no warning) he starts thrusting me very forcefully and is on me pushing into my stomach causing even more pain. I tell him to lighten up a bit or try a different position. So he starts biting me, hard!

I say stop. Okay- if you say stop or ouch in a scene the director must cut! It eventually led to me crying saying out loud "stop, ouch, director stop the scene" the director did not stop the scene. And the man would not get off me and stop throwing me around like a doll. The other girls came in onto my set from the dressing room and asked if I was okay. Director ignored them and so did camera crew. And the most shocking thing about this scene is that the company continued on to put this scene on DVD!! I haven't watched it, but I bet you can even see me crying with it all chopped up and edited. Once again, just trying to make a buck off the women.

I have many experiences in the 3 years I have been in porn. All I know is that nothing good/healthy or beneficial came out of this career.

I still have flashbacks of many things at random times throughout the day and every time a guy gives me a "look" I get creeped out and feel like he is perving on me. Sometimes I worry people might follow me or become obsessed (which does happen). This has changed my life, and left many scars but I'm determined not to let it keep me down, and to use my experience and knowledge to help other women. At least let them know the truth about porn.

Shelley is doing a great job helping us learn to love ourselves and respect ourselves and find day jobs, go back to school, leave our agents and become clean of drugs. She is a great woman and has helped many of my friends.

I hope that you hear my mine and Shelley's message.

Porn is not glamorous. Get the facts. Get help.