Sex Industry Abuse Recovery

Sex Industry Abuse

Who is a sex industry survivor? We define a sex industry survivor as a man or woman (of any race, religion or sexual persuasion) who accepts (or has accepted in the past) money, material items, or any form of exchange, for sex, a sex related activity (fantasy included). It doesn’t matter how long you did it, how you earned it, how much you got paid, or how long you have been out of it.

About the Aftereffects

There are aftereffects associated with being in the sex industry.

The sex industry brands the psyche of the person with its stigma. Prostitution is a form of sexual violence, a severe form of sexual abuse. Many of the same aftereffects of sexual abuse survivors apply to sex industry survivors.

Joe Parker, of the Lola Baldwin Foundation, states that “Prostitution becomes an irrevocable identity, one that is very difficult to discard.” And so together, we work to help you discover your true authentic self.

Together, we will work to uncover, discover and discard the faulty sense of self that is the cause and the source of our symptoms.

There are a constellation of symptoms associated with participation in this world.

· Sexual dysfunction or avoidance of sex

· Feeling like you’ve turned a trick without getting paid

· Disassociation (feeling split off from your feelings)

· Sexual overdrive and promiscuity

· Drug and or alcoholism

Other things don’t go away simply because we stop involving ourselves with the industry. Some of these symptoms or problem areas might include:

· Depression

· Nightmares

· Anxiety attacks

· Sleep disorders

· Flashbacks

· Phobias; compulsions

· Post-traumatic stress disorder.

Sexual Challenges
Sexual dysfunction is a very common trait in sex industry survivors. We call it “The Split.” This is a complete sexual shut down or disassociation between the body and the mind during sex. Others also describe this as turning a trick without getting paid.

Other members describe a feeling that any sexual encounter is really an act. We are unable to experience what we have heard is called: “Lovemaking.” It isn’t “lovemaking” to us. It is an experience, an act, a fantasy, where we stand outside of the experience viewing our performances. We feel split off from our sexual experiences. This is “The Split,” or a sense of being disassociated.

Why Does it Hurt to Love You?

Yet another common symptom or characteristic of sex industry survivors is the tendency towards addictive and abusive romantic relationships. It is almost as if at some level we feel we deserve the abuse. Caught in a vicious cycle, we rescue alcoholics and/or addicts. This gives us a temporary feeling of importance. Because we are just as powerless over another’s addictions as our own, we cross an invisible line and lose control. We ignore the warnings signs that were usually there, those big bold letters marked: “TOXIC.”

· Domestic violence

· Verbal abuse

· Codependency

· Caretaking

The most graphic example of this type of relationship is the pimp/whore relationship. Traditionally, the pimp operates by undermining the prostitute’s self esteem so that, over time, she begins to believe that she really is worthless, and powerless without his “protection.”

Yet many survivors never associate with official pimps. But if we look at our history, we may find an individual who had many of the characteristics.

Behaviors we might expect from this type of personality include:

· Attacking our (current/or previous) lifestyle and then financially profiting from it

· Abusive to our sense of integrity

· Attempting to control our activities

· Forcing us to engage in sexual activities that are no longer appropriate for who we are today.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

PTSD stands for post-traumatic stress disorder—a set of emotional problems that occur after someone has experienced a terrible, stressful life event. Another way to think about PTSD is “after trauma anxiety reaction.”

Sex industry survivors often suffer from PTSD that they first experienced in their childhood, coupled with the stress of being involved with sex work. The founder of our program began to experience severe PTSD after she had been out of the industry for over a decade. “I believe the stress disorder was brought on because of the abusive marriage I got into,” she said. “After he found out I had been a prostitute he would say things like: once a whore always a whore. I felt emotionally flattened on a daily basis. Because I didn’t have anyone to discuss my past with, I started acting out and being promiscuous.”

If we have not dealt with the issues surrounding our involvement in the industry, we will inevitably re-create the pain and drama that is familiar to us. Long buried pain and fears become triggered, and we experience the stress now, that we were unable to experience then.

As our founder’s experience shows us, we are then at a high-risk to either relapse completely, or act out our addiction in seemingly innocent ways that eventually might catch up with us. These might include: sexual compulsivity, or finding ways to get others to pay for things we are capable of paying for ourselves. In other words, we set up a form of an exchange. We barter our sexual energy for some type of material compensation. While all this is going on, we may not even think of it as a relapse. That is why we need to stay in the meetings. The meetings will keep us out of denial.

Recovery Is the Way Out

Whether we were a stripper, a phone sex operator, a porn actor, a live website performer, a street prostitute or an exclusive call girl, we have found that our experience of addiction gives us a common bond. We are addicted to that first transaction, and once we take that first transaction, we lose control over where the disease will take us.

For some, the outcomes are jails, institution, or death. There is an extremely high mortality rate for those of us with multiple addictions. And even if we get out, if we do not address the shame, the pain, and the hurt that come from turning our sexuality into a product for sale, we will continue to feel a sense of disgrace.

Recovery helps us come out of the closet, and tell the secrets that we thought we would take to the grave with us. We discover that we are only as sick as our secrets. We find, through listening to those who have shared our addiction, that often incest, cultural expectations, and a shattered self esteem created a belief that the sex industry was our only way to survive.

We draw strength from a dynamic spiritual truth that is at the core of recovery: one sex industry survivor helping another. We find that the therapeutic value of one sex industry survivor helping another is without parallel.

To help you in recovery please join the sex industry recovery forum where you will draw strength for other sex industry survivors and visit my links page for more resources on sex industry abuse. We will also be offering LIVE workshops in the Chat rooms throughout the month. Please also read powerful articles on the left to help you on your journey of recovery. You are NOT alone. Shelley Lubben and Anne Bissell and others are here to help you. Most importantly, God is here to help you. If you don't know God as the lover and protector of your soul, please click here to learn more about Him.

If you need help leaving the sex industry, please email help@thepinkcross.org.

Thanks to Anne Bissell Executive Director Voices for Justice Network/Operation Silver Braid for providing the above information regarding sex industry abuse and after affects.

Anne Bissell
email: anne@vfjnw.org

Anne Bissell is the first author/activist and sexual exploitation survivor to bring out the connections between childhood sexual exploitation, pornography, domestic prostitution and international trafficking. "All of these are part of a continuum of sexual crimes that involve turning an actual person into a thing, a commodity. That which becomes a commodity is eventually disposable." With the Operation Silver Braid campaign, Bissell has brought together all of the programs which she developed, such as: www.thesilverbraid.org, www.sexualabusesurvivors.com, and www.sexindustrysurvivors.com. She is a nationally sought after spokesperson on the topic of commercialized sexual exploitation of children.