Former Danish Porn Star Anita Remby, nineteen year old girl, speaks out about her career as a porn star. Anita performed in over 150 XXX porn scenes, most of them very hardcore and brutal.

I started out really loving it, as everyone does, but mentally I was a lonely young girl.  

I grew up in a small family in Denmark, my parents got divorced after only being married for 3 years. I didnt really understand anything because I was so young.

 Me and my mom lived in a small 2 bedroom apartment in a small city in Denmark. I only saw my father around the holidays. I missed him everyday, I knew that I needed him, but it was complicated.  

When I was 10 years old, I finally got to see my father on a regular basis. Every other weekend I went to visit him, I was so happy. But one day my dad went out for shopping and my uncle took care of me and raped me. I never told anyone.

After that day I felt very sad and very lonely - I felt like my parents should have known if my Uncle would do something like that.  

I was a very lonely girl in school. I never spoke to anyone but a few people, I never came to any parties or meetings. Most of the time I just watched TV, up to 6-7 hours a day I watched television.

I saw a show about some stripclub - it was a late night show, but I never was aleep when my mom thought I was.  

I knew what I wanted to be now: "I want to be famous" I always said to myself. I want to have friends, and I want attention!!!!

I gained a lot of weight, and boys never spoke to me! I was very obese, and my mom didnt even care, she just kept feeding me.  

When I was 13 years old my father was diagnosed with cancer - and I was'nt allowed to see him. I broke down.  

I developed an eating disorder and began to lose a lot of weight. The boys finally start to care about me. At least I thought they cared.

I began having sex that year, with a lot of boys, a lot.  

When I turned 15 years, I had already slept with over 60 different sex partners! Thats a lot! But I never cared. I never had a feeling in my soul and my mom taught me to be strong! So I was!

I moved out from my moms place at age 15. I was drunk every weekend, went to every party, and had sex with ALL THE GUYS! I had a book were I wrote all the names of the boys I had sex with, and their ages as well - some of the men were nearly 30 years old. I felt good about it. Suddenly, I was popular and everyone wanted to "try me out".

I finally found something I was really good at. It became more crazy and I had sex with up to 5 guys/girls a week. I never had feelings for them. I just had sex with them. I did analsex, groupsex, gagging and DPs - and I couldnt even drive a car yet! I had Clamydia 4 times that year.  

When I was 18 I saw an ad from a porn company - I didnt really need the money, but I wanted some attention and fame.  

I got booked for a job 10 days later. It was easy vanilla sex you know. I got paid 4000 DKK - thats 700 in US dollars. The scene took 6 hours, and it was without a condom, although we had a test.

I felt empowered, and I was hooked from that first day.  

After that the jobs came to me easy. Sometimes I did several shoots a day. I made about 20000 $ a month, I never saved any of it. I wasted the money on everything like getting my nails done, tanning, waxing and so on.

Soon vanilla sex wasnt enough for the companies - they wanted more, even though I didnt!

I started doing gangbang scenes, I had a gangbang scene with 50 guys, all unprotected sex! I felt bad and dirty - but I was a star!

I did about 150 scenes, and then the company said that I might aswell quit because they couldnt use me anymore, I was already to old for them.  

I spoke to a friend of mine. She went to the states and did some porn over there - I wanted to try it out, but I never got that far.  

Shelley Lubben sent me her book and at first I didnt care. I was going to the states and I was going to do porn!  

I got in contact with an agent, they promised me the world and all the money and glamour. I bought a plane ticket. But I never got that far to actually leaving the country.  

I knew in my heart I didn't want to do porn I took a break from everything and everybody. And I found out that porn was eating me up! I got sick of everything and everyone.

So I got out, it was hard, and it still is.  

Because of all the money I used to make, I still spend as if I earn that many money - but I dont. So now I owe my bank about 30000$. I spent that much money buying nothing!  

So what porn gave me was debt, diseases and people who think im a used up whore.  

I started to built my life up again, I got a 9-5 job as a waitress, a boyfriend - but he left me, because of my past!

Im still a waitress, I make 5000$ a month and I've never been more happy!  

I see my mom almost everyday, and I love the small things in life now - the flowers, the sun, a smile from a stranger and kids!  

PORN SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF PEOPLE, and it needs to stop! We deserve better! I know now. Im trying to stay strong and not let the sex industry eat me up. I know I can do this.  

I hope that this motivates somebody to do what I did, to leave porn and get a better life! Get help, and be happy, because:

WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT, WE DESERVE SO MUCH MORE! WE REALLY DO!  

If you have any questions or need help out of porn just ask Shelley and the Pink Cross at help@thepinkcross.org.

Love you!