Testimonies

Where to start. I have been an addict to pornography for a very long part of my life now. I have accepted Jesus Christ into my life in 2005. I still have many struggles with what entertains me the most and that is pornography. It is very hard to admit this weird behavior but I have had a huge fetish for pantyhose for years and years. I don't know why but for some reason the draw of this leads me to temptations uncontrollalbe for me to feed the need to search for fulfillment in the imagination world I can create of being with women that claim to "love wearing them" or more. I still fantasize about former friends and aquaintances that I was extremely attracted to. I have gone so far as to participate in wearing them for comfort/pleasure and have kicked-fell back-kicked that sinful habbit. I have deleted any and all materials from my computer. My biggest problem is my mind. When I sit at the computer, the enemies voice begins to speak and lead me to where I know it it definitely wrong to go. Pornography for me does not have to be the magazines or the main adult films for me but the free pics on search engines that are hotlinked and paysite previews of women that I find very attractive. I pray that God will still cleanse my mind and my heart to stop this recurring evil that I still carry inside. I read the testimonies of former stars that are now free and am ashamed that I too have lusted after the young lady Erica Campbell and her former works in this area. Please forgive me. I am involved in church ministries and have admitted my pornography problem to a couple of prayer partners though not going into detail like this. I don't want to stand in front of Jesus Christ and have to explain why I did this and have no secure feeling that I am truly forgiven for what I have done. I am married with two twin boys and a young daughter. I find it difficult to relate to my wife sexually as I always desire her to be what I see in my mind. I realize that Jesus spoke of lusting in the heart but I for some reason can not stop this sin as my mind is so entertained by what I see in my own so called "happy place". Please keep me in prayer for the release of my mind to overcome my sinful pleasures.

Well you made the right choice by coming to this site. Read the stories. Keep on sharing. You can meet some awesome folks thru here who walk with god and can help you and your inner demons.

I just want to encourage you that porn and all of it's tentacles can be VERY EASILY beaten. Just add God. The fact of the matter rests with Jesus words about 2 masters. I loved my porn and my behavior displayed that I couldn't care less about God. Porn was my master, I sowed money, and a great deal of time to my addiction. I cared very little about God. I spent 31 years of my life in Porn.

One night 4 years ago I was looking on the internet for statistics on porn. One site gave me all I needed to know about porn. I came across www.shelleylubben.com I checked out her resources and came across www.settingcaptivesfree.com. I did their first lesson on Feb 27, 2006. Well that night after my first lesson I decided that I didn't want to tell my mentor that I had looked at porn or had been involved in any behavior associated with it. That is almost 4 years ago. I never went back. I finished the course, all 60 lessons and then became a mentor for a while. God wants you to be happy. I lost my marriage due to porn, and my job too. It's a privilege from God to go to sleep at night, and not have any regrets. I wish you well. Paul Moore

Thank you very much Shelley, Mel and April for the time you all have put in to making my life worth living and trying to better myself! Your support, books, bibles, cards, video etc has been such an inspiration for me to finally start to get my story together and share it with the pink cross organization. You all make me feel so loved, wanted and needed! I love you all very much and thank you again for all your kindness!
Marcy-former porn star/exotic dancer, Alexa Milano
WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!